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Update on Muru - Living despite of the abuse I've suffered?
Hello again,
I am sorry that I haven't been around for all this time. So much has happened I don't know where to start...
I made another almost successful suicide attempt when I stopped writing in here. As a result they moved me to another more secure in-patient mental health unit. I didn't have much contact with the outside world when I was there, and I only got away from there last week. It wasn't nice but I guess they did a good job helping me stay alive.*
My darling friend was the only person who kept in touch and has helped me finding reasons to live, and helping me feel that I deserve to live. I was discharged last week and I moved in with him. He bough a lovely house on the outskirts of our little town with the money that he got from selling the student apartment his dad had bought for him and which he had rented out for years. Although were a boyfriend and girlfriend he knows I need a lot of time to get used to the idea, so for now I am renting a room in his house so were kinda like flatmates as well so that I can have my own space and time to figure things out. My two cats have moved in too, and they love the extra space! We're not letting them out yet although there's a cat flap ready for them when they've settled enough. The garden is not massive but it's very well kept by the previous owners..lots of roses and a lovely magnolia tree with a wooden seat underneath. The branches are reaching over and around the seat so that it's almost hidden, like a little den :) It's my favourite spot in the garden!*
I go to see my old therapist twice a week and it's only a10 minute walk from the house. I haven't gone back to work yet, but hopefully I can start a gradual return in November.
I know I have a lot to work on still, and I know now that I can never forget all the bad things that happened.. But I have somehow managed to find hope for the future and that maybe I'm not completely useless waste of space after all.*
Thanks everyone for listening, and I hope you guys can continue to support me still?
<3: Muru
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