Hey how are you now. hope you are feeling a bit better tho I know it doesn't nesasarrilly happen overnight. I really hope that things improve for you soon and you can feel more relaxed and that even if life doesn't get easier you find it easier to cope with. Thinking of u.
Thanks everyone. I have been on the ward since Friday. It’s really tough and i’ve considered discharging myself but have been advised not to. The ward manager spoke to me yesterday, he’s my favourite nurse from before but he wasn’t the manager then. He helped a bit but i don’t think the psych is going to do any of the things that the staff hope he will. My own psych is on holiday so i’m having to see one who has treated me long term in the past but i’ve had issues with him.
I wish i could easily get out of life. There really are no solutions in life. The staff hope this week will give me a bit of respite and help me to be stronger when i get home. The ward manager said to stick out the week because if i discharge myself and then need a bed in the future people might say, well you discharged yourself the last time.
Will try and get on here a bit more but i don’t like using my phone i prefer my laptop.
I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.
Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.
Thanks. I’m so bored, tired, frustrated, anxious, drowning. The two staff members who hate me are on this shift although luckily not for my group but it makes it hard to approach any staff or even leave the dorm.
I was allowed to go to the main hospital myself for an ECG despite only being allowed 5 minute periods at the unit front door so it was stressful especially since the other world had been closing in all morning. I’ll be seeing the unhelpful psych tomorrow so don’t expect to be heard. I should be getting home on Friday anyway.
I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.
Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.
Just absolutely bawled to a nurse. It’s life in general that is hopeless and a trap, not just hospital. Probably not going home tomorrow. I’d feel like shit at home too and have no one about. I can’t keep up this battle.
I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.
Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.
The doctor wants to increase my aripiprazole and has advised me to stay till Friday. One of the patients is on observations now so she’s being double annoying which i know isn’t very nice of me to say. I am allowed to leave before Friday if i want of course. I do still want to just go but everyone is advising me to stay. I need to find ways not to crack up and to get support when i need it.
I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.
Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.
Thanks. I wish i had just gone home. The patients in my dorm are really triggering me and taking up lots of staff time. I’m having to hold back the other world stuff and everything that is pushing me from inside. I’m trying to get to talk to my group nurse, i hope she comes soon and i can just go home tonight. I really trust the ward manager who said he wanted me to stay for the full week but i just can’t get the support i need here. I’ve also been told not to make impulsive discharge decisions but it keeps coming into my head so i think it’s important. I’ll give up the support i could have here. I don’t want to face another night here. I only managed last night after a huge crying session with a nurse and enough PRN to make me drowsy, there will be none of that tonight. I need to go home now. Please.
I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.
Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.
They are very, very short staffed. I’ve asked to go home but the nurse i spoke to thought it had to be Friday so i have to wait until another nurse is about to check. Really need out of here.
I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.
Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.
I agree, it might be worth staying so there's hopefully more of a plan when you are discharged and they can see how you're getting on with the meds increase?
Do you think having more leave during the day over the next couple of days might help you feel less trapped or do you think it would make it harder? In addition, if PRN helped last night so you think it might be worth seeing if they'll offer it to you on an evening for the next few nights?
I discharged myself last night. I managed to phone my CPN this morning to try and get some support put in place but she was in a meeting and when she phoned back I didn't feel able to answer. I'm just trying to settle at the moment, will hopefully be online/post more soon.
I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.
Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.
