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Triggering (SI) - Self-harm and drug abuse. compare/contrast?
This is a subject I haven't seen discussed much before but was brought up last night in a discussion with my boyfriend. He enjoys cocaine and sees it as no different at all to self-harm (I have been cutting for 7 years and he used to as well), and I'd like to hear some of your views on this.
His arguments seem to be based around the facts that cutting is very, very addictive and is a slippery slope - I think you'd all agree that, even though you may start with a few cuts on a wrist, it quickly spreads to arms, legs, deeper cuts, etc etc. When we started going out (about 3 months ago, although we have been close friends for many years) he knew I was concerned about the coke and as he also wanted to stop doing it regularly, so he asked me to help him stop. I myself pretty much stopped cutting when I was around 16 (now 20), save for the odd relapse. I have started cutting again recently and this upsets him greatly - I think he is largely upset because he has pretty much stopped doing coke whilst my attitude to stopping cutting is that I have been gradually recovering over the past four years and I know that there will be a day when I no longer need it.
Is cutting really that similar to drug abuse? The more I think about it, the more similarities I see between his using cocaine and my cutting. I must also point out that he does not generally use coke the way you may think - I get the impression that it's more a late-night on-his-own sort of thing as opposed to a sociable, party thing. It tends to chill him out more than it does make him chatty and talkative, in the same way that I cut on my own and to make me feel 'better'.
I'd be interested to hear some thoughts or any advice here. I can quickly see this turning into a destructive relationship if something isn't carefully worked out - "but you did coke last night so you have no right to tell me not to cut"... and this is another problem - I am feeling more and more like I have no leg to stand on at all when I'm telling him I don't like him using coke when I myself am not making a conscious effort to stop cutting.
Arg.
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