I know that my BPD warps how I interpret what people say, so I need some advice.
I was just at my psych and we were discussing my ED. One reason is I don't "feel loved". Well my psych said "I don't know how making yourself disgusting will help you feel loved". I couldn't believe what he said, but he repeated it! "What will making yourself look worse do?"
I'm sorry, am I overreacting by feeling like I was just told I look like s***?
I don't think he was saying your appearance looks horrible, he was probably just trying to make say that you would look better if you put on some weight. Although it doesn't seem like a very good or appropriate way to go about it. I think he just means some people don't find very thin people as attractive as if they put on a little weight. I wouldn't worry too much about it. *hugs*
im going to take a different approach on it. It may be how does making yourself feel disgusting make you feel loved. Isnt it the case that the worse you feel, the better you feel on the inside? you could do anything to your body and it wouldnt matter because its making you feel better on the inside.
Im sure what he said wasnt intentionally, sometimes they come out with dumb things, i mean i rember a doctor told me that my illness was my fualt and to go deal with it on my own and not waste thier times (which was nice)
*hugs*
"Its not how long a star shines, what is remembered is the brightness of the light"
I guess I could look at it that way Mari...but still that's not how it's going through my mind.
Emma, I can't see why he wouldn't just come out and say that. He's a professional afterall!
Sometimes I think people don't really consider what they're saying before they say it. I mean, I like my psych still but this just tore me up...it still is. I know...got to let it go. Don't you hate it when you twist what people are really trying to say? Ugh.
people never think before they talk, lol, i think its just human way, my friends dug himself into really big holes becasue he says things without thinking.
its like even when my flatmate walked into my room and asked if i had something sharp, lol (he knows bout the s/h), it was one of thoes you should think before you say that
"Its not how long a star shines, what is remembered is the brightness of the light"
I find that many people, including me, find that they want a diagnosis so that they have a reason and an explination for their behaviour.
I have traits of countless things.yay for traits =/
Ive had CBT a number of times and not long started DBT
Sarika my cpn said something really unhelpful to me the other day, there are people worse off than you in the world, count your blessings, type thing and i spent the whole week obssessing over it. Wondering whether she thought my problems were my fault and then convincing myself it must all be in my head.
I think professionals often say things without thinking and don't realise the impact it can have on someone with bpd.
"Because you don't notice the light without a bit of shadow. Everything has both dark and light. You have to play with it until you get it exactly right."
I find that many people, including me, find that they want a diagnosis so that they have a reason and an explination for their behaviour.
That's exactly how I feel. It's frustrating not knowing.
And apparently I have BPD traits. That doesn't really mean much to me though...
Yes, I'll go away
The only time you will find real light is when you're searching in the dark..
I hope no one got the wrong idea about what i was saying about self-diagnosis. I just dont think its right that people worry about haveing bpd when they might not, its all to easy to beilive you have something when you dont, because you do want a reason for everything. Because at some point youl worry too much about it and read so much into it, that if they dont give you the diagnosis, it can make you feel terrible because you thought you had it.
i dont mean to offend anyone when i say all of that.
"Its not how long a star shines, what is remembered is the brightness of the light"
^^ I totally understand what you mean by that. It's understandable to want something so much you'll believe it's true, only to be disappointed when you find it's not true. Which is why I sit and twiddle my thumbs and try not to put a 'label' to myself as such. Just would be nice to know sometimes, that's all =)
The only time you will find real light is when you're searching in the dark..
I know, but i think sometimes its better not to know, i would have been so happy never to find out about my bpd, because it changed me alot, it was like i just lost all hope. Its not nice being told you have something that cannot be cured.
I guess its kinda the same, when you think you have something/ do have it, and start to act more like your disorder says you should
"Its not how long a star shines, what is remembered is the brightness of the light"
I know, but i think sometimes its better not to know, i would have been so happy never to find out about my bpd, because it changed me alot, it was like i just lost all hope. Its not nice being told you have something that cannot be cured.
Yeah of course. I never really thought about it that way...
The only time you will find real light is when you're searching in the dark..
It would have been better if the cpn people where a bit more positive about my condition. Telling me i would never get better, just broke me. Its like why bother with everything if you are going to be ill forever.
And thats what im scared of, being like this forever, for the rest of my life, because its painful, and it hurts to breath at times, i just hate everyone right now, because they all seem so happy, and im just left on the outside.
"Its not how long a star shines, what is remembered is the brightness of the light"
My boyfriend's bought me a book on BPD (waiting for it to be delivered). It's one of those "If you have or think you have..." type books. One of the reviewers said that it really helped with their symptoms which is the main reason he has bought it. I'll let you lot know if I find it useful...
It would have been better if the cpn people where a bit more positive about my condition. Telling me i would never get better, just broke me. Its like why bother with everything if you are going to be ill forever.
And thats what im scared of, being like this forever, for the rest of my life, because its painful, and it hurts to breath at times, i just hate everyone right now, because they all seem so happy, and im just left on the outside.
I do think it's a bit harsh to say you'll never get better. I mean, surely it's better that you know what's wrong so you can then work towards, not exactly 'fixing' it but at least know how to maintain it? I can't quite get my words right but do you know what I mean? Am I wrong in assuming there are ways to at least control it so it's not too harmful?
The only time you will find real light is when you're searching in the dark..
Zed, you are not wrong in thinking that the negative effects of BPD can be lessened. There are forms of therapy that have been successful and age has also been shown to also reduce this disorder.
Some professionals are just too caught up in the whole idea that nothing can change the adult personality once it is established.