How do I start the road to recovery

Emily_1 · 09-10-2016, 01:49 PM

Hi, I am currently trying to stop self-harming but I don't know where to start, if you have any tips on where to start please help me.
Thanks

Iamcatbug · 10-10-2016, 11:02 AM

Hi. Firstly I just wanted to say well done for making this decision, it isn't an easy one to make.

For me personally the biggest hurdle was deciding to stop. Not that stopping is easy, it's very hard, like an addiction so there can be setbacks.

Don't know if this would work for you, but I picked a date about a week after is decided it was time to stop and used that as my first day free.

The best advice I can give you is to literally take it moment by moment. Celebrate the small victories, even if it is literally an hour of not cutting. Treat yourself for reaching goals, be that a day free, a week, a month. Don't berate yourself if you slip up, we all have bad days and go wrong, but it is not the end of the world.

Hide your tools in a place that is difficult to get to, that way it gives you time to think about what you are doing. Some people even right notes that they either keep on sight or that they place with the hidden tools that have all the reasons to not cut.

Create a list of distractions to help you when you get the urges. Be it songs, reading, ranting on here, walking, whatever, just find something that helps. I know some people use the hair band/tie/bobble/elastic band trick and snap that against their wrist when they have the urge.

Different things work for different people, you'll find yours. Good luck.

Random9 · 10-10-2016, 11:08 AM

Hello. Iamcatbug really sorted it all out right there, but anyway I wish I were helpful but honestly I wouldn't know how to stop because I haven't really stopped at all. I hope you find your stopping point.

Emily_1 · 10-10-2016, 12:22 PM

Thanks a lot this really helped

not_so_insig · 10-10-2016, 01:17 PM

Also check out the big distraction list. You may find something that will work. Sometimes one thing will not work for you one time but works the next time. Not all the distractions will work for you all the time but don't give up something will.

Tracking your process may help for me it's a case of marking in my diary each time I am SI free. But not everyone finds it's helpful.

zombiehunter · 11-10-2016, 05:25 PM

If I was going to offer any advice on stopping I would say don't keep an exact count of how many days, weeks etc you've stopped for because if you do that and you have a slip up it can make you feel worse whereas if you keep a general count (a few days a few weeks etc) it can help lessen the impact of a slip up.

also are you getting any support from doctors etc?

Pi.R^2 · 16-10-2016, 05:33 PM

As you can see, some people find it really helpful to carefully track the time free, whereas others find it counterproductive. Personally I put a lot of value on my time free, and every time I'm another month free I have a takeaway pizza to celebrate and tracking the time free really helps me and when I run out of other reasons, not wanting to have to start counting from zero helps get me through. But equally that probably sounds like a horrific way of doing it for some people, so you just need to work out which approach would work best for you.

As mentioned by zombiehunter, if you aren't already seeking support from professionals I would recommend doing that. It is is possible to stop self harming without really recovering from the thoughts and illness behind it, but it will be a lot easier if you have help and can also work through whatever it is leading you to self harm in the first place.

Wishing you all the best in your recovery, and we're here if you want to talk about anything :)

Albus Dumbledore · 16-10-2016, 07:31 PM

I have gone from self harming every day to a few times a year. It took years to get to this point, but some of the things I have found most useful are:

Delaying it. At first it was waiting five more minutes to self harm, and the amount of time has gradually increased.

Reminding myself of how self harming will inconvenience me - "I'll have to put a dressing on it", "I'll have to clean up afterwards", "I'll have to cover it up until it's healed" are some things that can help me. Obviously these will be different for everyone.

Going somewhere that I can't/won't self harm. Sometimes I would go to my friends house, other times I'd just go for a drive.

Asking for help.