I have nothing to live for

[Auror.]

Even if weight related and takes a while, it might still worth getting it done to have on record. A dr conformation of diagnosis is a diagnosis, regardless of reason. Even if things work out okay in the end, it sounds like it would still save you money so that's never a bad thing.

I can appreciate that it's not something you are up to or willing to take on though.

[not_so_insig]

The thing is that I haven't got the energy to go through a whole assessment of my physical health especially as the gp is crappy. I am fighting to not kill myself every day right now and that is enough. My period is effected due to the stress of my situation.

[not_so_insig]

I am still here. My period is effected. I am fast running out of spoons.

The only reason why I haven't tried to kill myself is because of the kitties and also I am pinning my hopes on the fact that the mandatory reconsideration works. If it doesn't then I am fucked.

[Auror.]

I'm sorry to hear you are still struggling, but glad you are hanging in there. Uncertainty is often sometimes the worst.

Can you contact your CPN or GP or someone to ask for some support while you wait?

[not_so_insig]

My cpn is coming on Monday. I will tell her how I am feeling and see how things go then.

[one_step_closer]

Was it yesterday you saw your CPN?

[not_so_insig]

I was supposed to be seeing her but I had a phone call from the cmht saying that she's off sick. Hopefully I will hear from her soon. I am due my depot next week though.

[one_step_closer]

That's a shame. Have you spoken to anyone else about how things are or are you ok to wait until you see your CPN?

[not_so_insig]

I haven't spoken to anyone else. I still feel like harming myself though I know that atm they are just thoughts. I keep on having dreams where I harm myself though

[one_step_closer]

Keep fighting the thoughts. You're doing so well with your recovery that I think it would make things even harder for you if you were to self harm. Dreams can be frightening and triggering, it's good that they're not reality though. Would you have someone to contact if you did feel like you needed to talk to someone or have some additional support?

[not_so_insig]

Just an update. I have had a letter from Welfare rights saying that someone will be in contact soon to arrange an appointment to see me. I am feeling a bit more positive because if necessary then I can take it to tribunal. Even standard would be better than nothing. Hopefully welfare rights involved can help me get back my pip.

[not_so_insig]

Also I have yet to harm myself though I feel like it every single day doing it.

[one_step_closer]

Huge well done with not self harming, it must be such a battle. You are amazing. I hope that Welfare rights can help you. I possibly have a similar service here called Money Matters and they were really great with helping me as they know exactly how to word things and what you get points for. Keep going.

[not_so_insig]

Thanks Lindsay.