Ok the advice isn't for me as i don't suffer with it however my girlfriend does. Now i know i should be able to support her with my own issues gives me more insight into it but to be honest i am finding it hard to help her. I don't know everything about it all i can understand is from my point with depression and i find it hard to cope with her highs and her lows and i have never seen her as bad as i am now and i've been with her 5 years.
I need tips with how to support her and a little bit more of an insight into the illness, i need to know in a way that is ok that i am not strong enough to support when i am going through my bad times.
The first thing to remember is, her highs and lows are not your fault. Just like your depression is not her fault, her mood swings are not your fault. Also, when she's in her manic phase, don't get upset unless she's actually doing something destructive. If she's just acting a bit hyper, go with it and don't worry about whether it's "from the illness" or not. Let her be happy; she should enjoy her manic phases if she can. Now if she's spending way too much or doing something else harmful, maybe mention to her that it's possible she's manic and does she really want to do this? When she's depressed, it's going to be very similar to your own depression. Just support her, remind her it won't last. Basically anything you'd want someone to do to you when you're depressed. One difference is hers won't last as long as yours, so that's a plus when trying to support her. Remind her that her moods come and go, so she doesn't have to act out on her feelings of depression. (i.e. thinking of suicide, self-harm, etc.)... Also, does she have bipolar with hallucinations or without? If she does have delusions and hallucinations with her mood swings, there's more I can tell you about that.
Let me know if you have any other questions. I'll be happy to answer them if I can.
hi, i'm also bipolar.
you sound incredibly concerned with your gf's health and supporting her wich is fantastic! just dont put too much pressure on yourself for it, if you cant do it for a while because your not well, thats ok.
if you've got any questions or just want a chat about it, just pm me. i could go on for hours on it, and most of it would be irrelevent! so yeah if you want, let me know what aspects you want insight into!
xxx
As far as i'm aware it is with out hallucinations i mean after 5 years i would know if she was. However she does tend to leave the room when she goes into a low.
It's hard to judge when her highs are getting to much i don't know what she can handle and what could end up putting her at risk when i would do some of the stuff myself. :\
I have bipolar I. My boyfriend basically watches out for symptoms of a relapse, and then calls my CPN. But I have rare and severe episodes (once every year/when my lithium gets too low).
I have been diagnosed with (schizoaffective) bipolar and it is a real tough illness for family to cope with aswell. I can see that when I am well, it's a real shocker.
I think you have a great attitude towards helping her. :)
Try to enjoy the good points of the illness when you can - the creative, energetic side that often comes with hypomania.
Everyone is so individual. You know your girlfriend best. Talk to her and find out what she makes of everything. Ask her questions if you are unsure. I think it's good to accept that there will be arguments and conflict but try to keep as calm as you can. I know it's tough. When I am manic, someone being loud (not suggesting you are) only winds me up.. and up even more. Calmness is the key for me anyway. Do you know what you would do if you thought she was at risk in some way to herself? I understand it might be scary to think about and weird too if you struggle with similar yourself. Having a simple 'plan' of who to call is reassuring.
Do you have support yourself, with depression and/or as a carer? They should have support services in your area. The one round here is called 'Making space'.
I assume you will understand (to an extent) what she feels like when depressed. Understanding means a lot more, to me at least, than other types of intervention.
Please look after yourself too - that's vital too. I don't know if there are any books out there that will help you, but maybe it's worth a look.
Take care. Miranda. x
The Mole was bewitched, entranced, fascinated. By the side of the river he trotted as one trots, when very small, by the side of a man who holds one spell-bound by exciting stories; and when tired at last, he sat on the bank, while the river still chattered on to him, a babbling procession of the best stories in the world, sent from the heart of the earth to be told at last to the insatiable sea.
Wind in the Willows.
hey dunoo if this is any use but theres actually a bipolar support sight, www.bipolarworld.com, might be worth a look :) xx
' Your always going to have the hurt, you may as well use it'
'Writing can be a way of righting any wrongs that have been done to you'
'Scars tell a story of where u have been, but they dont have to dictate where u are going'
Droplet i can be loud and if we get into a fight it can soon become heated on both sides. She does seem to get the impression that i am shouting when i am talking normally but with a tone because i am slightly angry.
I have a shrink and i am on medication for my depression so i am getting support for me. I am unemployed however she is employed and not getting any help, well it starts this week with a shrink and then back to her drs to work out what meds she needs.
To be honest if i am low i will be more worried if she gets low and i will always try to put her first as i am more wooried about her than me.
Fakesmiler thank-you i will have a look at that site.
I try to talk to her but i tend to leave it to the point when she is really low and i am of no use.
She is going back to her Dr's today he refused medication last time even tho it's on her records as being bipolar. But she is now seeing a shrink as well so hopefully he will give her something now as she is getting worse by the day, and i am really struggling to help her and stay strong myself.
It's very strange for her not to be on meds with a bipolar diagnosis. Before my diagnosis when i had suspected personality disorder I wasn't on meds, but when that changed to bipolar the first thing they did (that very day) was take blood samples and immediately start lithium.