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Old 16-05-2020, 01:41 AM   #1
_Zee
 
Join Date: Apr 2020
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Seeking some support

Hi all -- I'm reaching out because I'm having a tough time with the self-injury lately. I go through phases where I engage in cutting more frequently and now is definitely one of those periods.

Currently, I know that it's partially brought on by my reaction to getting dumped in a pretty stupid and hurtful way about a month and a half ago. Him and I still talk almost every day and are still intimate. I want to end the dynamic we have going but I feel so lonely when I'm not with him, even in the lame capacity that I am these days, that I lose the courage to.

I've also tapped out my resources -- none of my friends will listen to me talk about how I'm feeling regarding that situation anymore or anything else "depressing." My roommate was so harsh about it earlier that she said "It doesn't matter what I say, you're going to do what you're going to do. Throw yourself off a cliff. Except actually don't because that's a lot of paperwork." Needless to say, that led to a cutting episode.

I just feel painfully alone. I've stopped talking to my friends as often as I used to because I feel disconnected from them. The depression is so terrible day in and day out that I feel absolutely hopeless about it going away in the future. I've tried almost every single medication you could throw at this and have been in serious long term therapy. I'm at a loss for what to do anymore.

Anyway, sorry for the rant. Thanks for reading, if you're out there.

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Old 16-05-2020, 04:44 AM   #2
Auror.
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Sorry to hear you are struggling.

Are you in therapy and/or on medication at the moment? If so, can you speak to those treatment providers to see what other options there might be? If not, is it worth trying to look into those again?



You can't always keep it separate.
This is happening, this is part of you.


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Old 19-05-2020, 05:15 AM   #3
_Zee
 
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Originally Posted by Auror. View Post
Sorry to hear you are struggling.

Are you in therapy and/or on medication at the moment? If so, can you speak to those treatment providers to see what other options there might be? If not, is it worth trying to look into those again?
I'm in therapy every other week and I take like...six medications (3 as needed) for bipolar disorder, PTSD, and anxiety. I feel like I've been in therapy and on meds for as long as I can remember. Sometimes it feels like I've tried everything. I just wish something would help for once. I feel really stuck.

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Old 19-05-2020, 10:55 AM   #4
one_step_closer
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Have you said to your therapist/medication provider that you feel stuck right now? Maybe they will have some ideas about different things you could try. Have you tried any social type groups?





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Old 20-05-2020, 01:44 AM   #5
_Zee
 
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Originally Posted by one_step_closer View Post
Have you said to your therapist/medication provider that you feel stuck right now? Maybe they will have some ideas about different things you could try. Have you tried any social type groups?
I've talked to them about it, definitely. They just don't have any new ideas to offer me -- I've been in therapy for so long -- I've heard it all.

I haven't tried any social type groups and of course that's not super plausible with everything going on right now. I just feel so lonely and like no one wants to engage with me in any capacity. I feel like a terrible person. I can't even stand to be with myself. I'm just not sure what to do anymore.

Thank you for responding though -- I appreciate it.

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Old 20-05-2020, 04:38 AM   #6
Auror.
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Could you ask to try a different type of therapy and/or therapist? Or do genetic testing to see what types of meds might be better options? If not, there are also other alternatives like ECT and ketamine that can also help with depression- it might just take some searching to find out if those are options that would be helpful/feasible.



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This is happening, this is part of you.


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