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Old 28-12-2007, 06:52 PM   #41
Sofie
 
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sophie, while i appreciate that not everyone on the internet is like that you are kind of undoing what i and everyone else is trying to get across to tweety.
the things he is saying and doing isnt normal, its sending off alarm bells in everyones head.
I was only saying.

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Old 28-12-2007, 07:08 PM   #42
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So you think no one here cares about anyone else on the board? It's surprising, I know, that complete strangers can care for your well being. But perphaps it's the hope that if someone so like ourselves can survive, or can listen, or can do something right, then maybe we can, too. The other people and all their potential gives us hope for ourselves and one another. And no, not everyone wants to hurt you. Not everyone is bad in this world. But there are some bad people, people that will hurt you. And we don't want them to get to you.



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Old 28-12-2007, 11:07 PM   #43
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no one said you cant come here to talk about things without being bitched at, we are just being realistic. i just wont dance around the truth and that is that the world is a dangerous place and i dont like it any more than you do. it would be nice if people, particularly women, didnt have to be so guarded but thats the way it is.





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Old 28-12-2007, 11:28 PM   #44
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please darling, you have got to tell someone.

are you in the uk? if so, there will be a senior person at your school who is appointed as a child protection officer. i think you need to speak to them about whats going on because this is the situation - you are a child in need of protection. everyone one here has been saying what they have because they care. many people have been in your situation, made the decision to meet someone and have seriously suffered because of it. you mentioned that you could get your aunt to talk to him. why dont you talk to your aunt? tell her how you feel and see if she can offer you the care and support you need but cant get from your parents. she may well not know how things are for you. adult are not just able to know what is the matter without you saying anything to them. ask for the care you need. you might be suprised at the response you get.

do you see a therapist of councellor of any kind? if not, see if you can (go see your g.p. Your parents dont need to know if you dont want them to but it might help). i think you need to work through your feelings of needing care. i still feel like that and im 20. i still get tucked into bed by my mum and i have my teddies (seriously, they are sat on the safa with me now). some people do need to be cared for like a small child but you have to find the right person to provide that care. this man is not the right person. you dont know him and he doesnt know you. there is no way he could become a father to you. i know there are some decent people out there but he really doesnt sound like one of them. he sounds as though he is trying to (and has) gained your trust and feelings. and then he is likely to want to abuse you. and you are too young to defend yourself

i really do care and am worried about you. im here if you want to talk to me. im 20, am female and really dont want to see you get hurt when it could so easily be prevented.

please take care of yourself. *massive hugs*



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Old 30-12-2007, 03:24 AM   #45
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okay i cant handle this
this guy that ive been talkign to
well its really a long story
but the big point is he called the state police and told them what i told him
they called my cell but i missed the call
what are they gonna do?
i cant do this i cant handle this
i trusdted him
and he told
he promised he wouldnt
i cant do this i cant do this anymorei dont want to do this anymore



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Make Love, NOT War.


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Old 30-12-2007, 03:26 AM   #46
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why wont anybody love me?
i dont understand
i dont get it i try to hard to do good in school but wheni make honor roll nobody cares or if i get a good grade on a exam nobody cares and i havent spilled anything for two whole weeks and i cant do this
i dont understand what makes me so bad



Everyday they go to sleep hoping that when they wake up it'll be different... and everyday they wake up to see that hope is not there...
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Old 30-12-2007, 07:15 AM   #47
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You're not bad, hunny. Trust me, you're not. You're a child, and human. You're lost and confused, and that's NOT your fault. If you want to PM me and tell me the whole story, feel free to. And I think it's incredible, that with all you've been through, you still manage to be mature and keep priorities like school not only at a passing level, but at a level of excellence. If you EVER need to talk about anything, please feel free to PM me!

I'm sending you hugs, prayers, and good vibes. Stay strong, sweetheart. <3



Every day of our lives, want to find you there, want to hold on tight. <3
Those who like, find excuses. Those who love, find a way.
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Old 30-12-2007, 07:46 PM   #48
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People do care about you. Every person that has posted in this thread has done so out of their concern for your well being. You have obviously had such a hard time recently, and I'm sorry it's been so tough. The posts here are a reflection of how much your safety means to everyone on ryl.
I'm not sure of the situation in full but if you need to talk to someone then please pm one of us.
Just take care of yourself, because we all really do care.



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Old 30-12-2007, 07:51 PM   #49
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*hugs*

if you want to pm or email me some more info about things then i'll give you some advice. what would you have told him that he felt the police needed to know? i cant tell you what they might do unless i know what you have said to him. im here to help if you want me to. *more hugs*. people do care. keep going with your school work. you will see the benefits of it when you are older and want to go to uni or get a job



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Old 02-01-2008, 06:53 PM   #50
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i did it.... i ended it with him...
please somebody talk me down...
please..



Everyday they go to sleep hoping that when they wake up it'll be different... and everyday they wake up to see that hope is not there...
Make Love, NOT War.


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Old 02-01-2008, 11:50 PM   #51
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Hey well im not gonna give you a lecture, you obvisouly dont deserve it. plus i think everyone else kinda already got in there first.

All im gonna say is that im really sorry about what youve been through. And even though i dont have a clue who you are i still want you to be safe. noone deserves to be hurt like that.
Stick it out though itll all pull through

XXX

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Old 03-01-2008, 09:06 PM   #52
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*hugs* This must be so hard for you. But you deserve better than a stranger, someone who may hurt you. One day, I promise, you will find someone who can genuinly love you and take care of you. If you ever need to talk, I'm here. Feel free to PM me.

*Hugs again*



Every day of our lives, want to find you there, want to hold on tight. <3
Those who like, find excuses. Those who love, find a way.
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Old 04-01-2008, 12:07 AM   #53
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Well done. I know it feels really bad now but you've done the right thing. You are so brave. I know that this is a cliche and the last thing you want to hear, but in time you'll see that you've made the right decision. Don't let yourself feel alone cos if you ever need anything I can assure you, you will always find people that care here. Do take care honey, it's just brilliant to know that your safe xx



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Old 04-01-2008, 11:34 AM   #54
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Well done for telling someone.
I'm sorry I don't have much to add right now, people weren't having a go at you, just sometimes you have to be blunt to get through to someone and it was a clearly worrying situation. I really hope you're okay. Keep us updated on how things go/what happens etc.
You're not unloveable either, no one is. It's very hard to trust people sometimes and when you get that trust broken it's always going to be harder to trust again, but you need to remember that not everyone is out to break that trust or hurt you.
Please take care of yourself love x



"Be nice. Think happy thoughts. Champion silver linings. Love all things (not just cute things like babies and kittens) & when you do love - love like they do in power ballads (you know like on a cliff with the wind in your hair and your eyes shut, knowing you'll never know love like this). Watch out for dog poo. Smile at people - even grumpy ones. Remember anything is possible & whatever you do always try to look on the bright side."

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Old 04-01-2008, 06:31 PM   #55
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I've been following this thread and would just like to say I'm really glad you've ended it with him. It did sound dodgy. You're right, not everyone's bad. But the internet is really quite scary. And with this situation it did sound like he was grooming you.

I know we've never met you but we do care. I'm sure there are so many people who wouldn't like to see you get hurt. And there are people who love and care for you I'm sure. It is hard to trust people when you've been hurt but what you said was right, not everyone's bad. But sometimes when you've been through a hard time it's easy to trust the wrong people which can put you into all kinds of bad situations.

I really would like to know how you are. Please feel free to PM me if you want to talk, get things off your chest or whatever. I know you don't know me but I would like to know that you're OK.

Take care of yourself sweetie

xxx

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Old 05-01-2008, 05:39 PM   #56
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well right now we're back to talking....
please dont lecture me..
dont scream.
dont whatever you have in mind.
i know.
i know.
i know.
but we're just talking.....



Everyday they go to sleep hoping that when they wake up it'll be different... and everyday they wake up to see that hope is not there...
Make Love, NOT War.


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Old 05-01-2008, 06:26 PM   #57
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aww hun,
Even just talking can be dangerous. It ALWAYS starts with just talking.
I know you don't think anything bad will happen, but neither did any of the many many victims who have been raped and even killed.

No one here is trying to lecture you, scream at you, give you a hard time, or do anything else other than give you the advice that you originally asked for, and try to support you. The truth is, there is NO way to tell if this is a decent guy. I mean, even if you told him to meet you at the police station and he agreed, that'd only give you a false sense of security, and would make you drop your guard, and he'd know that was what happened. Even if he met your parents, I'm not sure that would keep you safe. I mean, my cousin... well, he IS family, my parents and my whole family knew him well, or so they thought... he took advantage of many little girls on the internet, and what he did to me, I still have flashbacks and nightmares about- and he was FAMILY. With a STRANGER on the internet no less, it's almost impossible to be careful enough. I met one of my old boyfriends on the internet. He was even the same age as I was, and went to a private college a few miles from my house. It ended up being a horrible, horrible abusive relationship that I staid in longer than I should have, because I just wanted the love he gave me.

It's not to say all men are bad, or that you can't have an older father figure in your life. I have many, MANY friends who are way older than me- I mean, 30, 40, 50 years older than me even. Some are female, some are male, and it's a perfectly normal relationship. Some are friends, some fill a mother or father type role. It's not bad to have that, and I don't think anyone on here is telling you not to have that. What they are telling you is finding that online can be REALLY dangerous. It's totally different to find that online, vs. finding it in real life thru friends of friends or family of friends or church or school or whatever. Even in real life, it can be dangerous- just think then, about how much MORE dangerous it can be on the internet. It's so easy for any of us to lie about our age, height, weight, location, sex, intentions, etc. And you can never be too careful these days.

I'm not trying to upset you, none of us are. I have a friend that was in a similar situation to yours. But in her case, it turned out the guy actually lived only a few blocks from her house. This happened when we were in jr high together, tho I didn't find out about it til high school. Anyway, she thought they were just friends. He sent her some music cd's without her parents knowing, she talked to him online, then on the phone, then one day decided to go over to his house for lunch. All they did was have lunch and talk, nothing out of the ordinary happened. At first. He escalated things slowly, so it didn't alarm her or scare her off. She got used to thinking of them as normal. Even when he started forcing her to have sex with him. He did it in a sneaky, manipulative way. And he got her so she was afraid to get out. He threatened to hurt the people he loved. And hun, that's a very real possibility- by letting this guy know where you live, you're not only putting yourself in danger, but also your family.

You could be right about him. He could be a REALLY nice guy. Or, he could be the type of guy who could break into your house and kill your parents in the middle of the night, or during the day while you're out. Do you really want to risk something so huge just to find out?


Last edited by sillystring : 05-01-2008 at 06:31 PM.


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Old 05-01-2008, 08:28 PM   #58
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Even in real life, it can be dangerous
I almost found this out the hard way. Thankfully, from the way this person was talking to me (he was asking me some very personal questions) pretty much told me that he might be dangerous. Ok, he may not be, but he did come across as creepy.

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Old 06-01-2008, 06:17 PM   #59
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The last thing any of us want to do is lecture you honey, and if it appears that way then I'm sorry. It's just because we're all worried about you.
The situtation is still very dangerous and it's impossible for us not to be concerned.
When we feel unloved and then suddenly recieve affection from someone, the need to stay in touch with them can be almost addictive. But in truth this person can't actually provide you with what you need. For all you feel like you know him, you don't. And if someone trully loves you unconditionally, you know the real them inside out.Don't forget this guy said he'd told the police some of the things you told him, and in your post you sounded upset and scared, if he really cared for you he wouldn't have done that.
No one wants to shout at you or make you feel bad, we just want to help you get to a safer happier place in life.
Please consider speaking to an adult about this, and please do keep us up to date so we know you are safe. I can assure you no matter what you tell us you'll recieve support and the best advice we can give. Please just take care xx



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Old 06-01-2008, 11:19 PM   #60
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no he called the police because i was in danger.. and he ended up not telling them anything that i told him.. just that i was in danger and they needed to check it out.. but without any information they couldnt do anything...

i know its dangerous. and ive seriously talked to him about it. andive seriously thought about it... the only time we're going to meet.. IF we meet.. is if i want to report whats going on with my family.. so he can adopt me.. and etc etc.



Everyday they go to sleep hoping that when they wake up it'll be different... and everyday they wake up to see that hope is not there...
Make Love, NOT War.


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