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Old 14-12-2007, 08:52 PM   #21
N.Bluth
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I know I've already aired my thoughts here, but I'm VERY concerned about you. This is such a DANGEROUS situation for you to put yourself in. Just recently a member of staff at the educational establishment where I work lost his job after it was discovered he was conversing inapropriately with a minor on the internet. I seriously don't want you to end up as another vulnerable person who is exploited by an adult. Please re-consider what we have said. He is bound to come accross as reasonable and calm as he wants to keep up the pretence that he's a decent person who means you no harm. The reality is at 40, there is no justifiable reason to be exchanging email conversations with a 14 year old girl.

You do have other places to express your feelings and get care and support from other people in a safe way, this site exists purely for that reason. Anytime you need to get anything off your chest you can post a thread here and recieve advice and support without putting yourself at such great risk.

I know you feel like you need this man, but you don't at all. It's nice to feel like someone cares for you, it's great thinking you've got someone who will reassure you, look after you and comfort you. But you can have that here. Everyone who has posted in this thread has expressed their concern for you. We genuinely care. Please, please for your sake get an adult to intervene and stop this now. It's so so so dangerous.



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Old 14-12-2007, 09:19 PM   #22
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I think you need to stop talking to this guy and want to just echo what everyone else has said. I have made friends on the internet older than me (usually only by a few years) but the only ones I have met or given details to have been people I have talked to for a long time/talked to on the phone/know people that know them well etc. You should just block him and try and forget about him. I know it will be hard because you could open up to him but it's better for you and a lot safer. If you ever need a chat just PM me.
Becky x

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Old 17-12-2007, 11:54 PM   #23
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thanks for your concern you guys but theres really not a reason to worry or anything i can take care of myself. . . and as for th e whole deal with him im not sure yet... but im not just gonna up and block him... im sorry i shouldnt of posted this i didnt mean to get you all upset over it, i'm sorry.



Everyday they go to sleep hoping that when they wake up it'll be different... and everyday they wake up to see that hope is not there...
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Old 18-12-2007, 07:35 PM   #24
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i don't want to sound harsh but get out of it now while you still can
he sounds very very manipulative, how do you even know he's 40? how can you tell his real name is what he says it is? how do you know any of what he's said has been the truth?
whatever you do please please don't run away to him. he sounds like a sexual predator. i know how you feel having someone interested in you and caring about you, but he is totally unsuitable and never should have got involved with someone that much younger than him in the first place.
i'd block him and if he asks you for a reason why you're not online just explain that you're sorting out your problems etc. if he really cared about you you'd understand.
i know how it feels when you're 14, it seems as though you're invincible, however this man has put you in a very vulnerable position through doing this.
please try and talk to someone you trust (no him) about this and don't stay in your house alone if you can help it. i doubt very much his intentions are innocent. especially if he is talking about subjects with sexual connotations such as 'tucking you up in bed'
please please please take care honey, talk to people on here, my pmbox is always open if you need someone to listen. and let someone know if he makes any attempt to contact you again
xxx



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Old 18-12-2007, 09:59 PM   #25
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I don't believe that bit you just said about being able to take care of yourself. From what you said you haven't shown that you have the maturity to deal with this situation yourself or take care of yourself. By giving a stranger your personal information and address you proved you really don't know how to take care of yourself. You don't know how much potential danger you've put yourself in. Even if this man is the best man alive, you didn't know that and in giving him your information and telling him all about yourself you took a huge risk...what if he isn't who he says he is? (Which he most likely isn't). Don't take offense, you won't be able to see things for what they are because this need for love that you have will not let you. Even if this man wasn't lying to you and didn't have an interest in you in any other way than as a friend or "daughter" you can't keep talking to him. I'm sorry to burts your bubble with this but...he can't adopt you, not legally, he's not your father and the truth of the matter is he doesn't know you and you don't know him. You need help because your need for affection is clouding your judgement and if you don't get help you will always go with anyone who listens to you and gives you a little "love" and that is dangerous.

I'm telling you, no good man will start a relationship with someone, over the internet, and after finding out they're underage will just decide to be like a father to them...to this child he doesn't know...and send them gifts and pay their bills. A normal, responsible adult wouldn't do that and if they were REALLY interested in you and your life, in a genuine way, they'd also get to know your parents first. I can bet this man knew you were underage before you told him, I bet he could tell from things you'd say...I bet he's done it so many times he knows exactly what he is doing. This is what they do, they pray on kids that say they're older or mature enough but are also abused or neglected and needy because they know those are the ones who will not suspect anything of them and won't give them up. He doesn't have to tell you to run away, by saying he wants to adopt you and being good to you he kows YOU will eventualy want to do it. That's the plan. Get you to love him, trsut him, need him so YOU will eventually want to go to him...and he's just waiting for this I bet.

This man sounds like a common internet pedophile, that's exactly how they operate. Yeah, he seems nice to you but that's the point...if he didn't you would never trust him and go to him. It's a trap. He will make himself seem like a great guy so you never doubt his intentions or question what he is doing. But everyone here has told you, and I'm telling you that what he is doing is NOT normal, NOT right and he definitely has a motive for doing it...and it's not that he wants to adopt you and be your father and tuck you in bed, any adult knows that they can't adopt a kid just because they want to. It doesn't work that way and he knows it but he tells you he wants to adopt you so you will go to him. Get help, talk to your parents, a teacher, anyone. Tell someone because you have given him your information and everything. Seriously, if he doesn't have a hidden agenda here he won't mind at all that you talk to someone and even get your parents to talk to him...actually, he should have done that from the start if his intentions are genuinely good but I'll bet a million bucks they're not. TELL SOMEONE!




"...that incremental suicide of turning your life into a dream, to make being awake as similar to sleep as possible. Drowsily, lazily, dry-mouth your way through the day's ceremonies, fumble your way back into the dew-bather you never really left, draped in brown, brown now all around, the haze!" - Russell Brand on drug addiction.

"Si ma êkh gûndo piyiamásko...ándo bírto barruno. Bírto, bírto barruno."



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Old 18-12-2007, 10:52 PM   #26
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Platinum View Post
If you were 40 why on earth you'd you speak to a 14 year old on the internet?
When I was 14 I started talking to a man who was 38. However, unlike the OP's situation, it was nothing dodgy. Yes, he sent me stuff but it was only music CDs & a DVD. (my parents know about this and aren't bothered. Probably only because my dad has seen 2 of our conversations...)

Quote:
he always talks about holding me and tucking me in...
This sounds really dodgy to me.

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Old 19-12-2007, 03:04 AM   #27
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Random thing to add - your parents would have to agree for him to adopt you.

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Old 19-12-2007, 03:25 AM   #28
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I have a friend who is 17 & friends with quite a lot of 40 - 60 year olds on the internet, to be honest I find it slightly creepy but she's met them irl and nothing strange has happened, they're just a few people with similar interests who don't care about the age gap. But she's a bit older than you, and the relationship is completely different. The father thing he's doing just seems weird to me, very manipulative, and the stuff he's giving you sounds a lot like grooming. I know when you're lonely or whatever these people seem like a great help, but you really could be putting yourself in a dangerous position. Realistically, what 40 year old man would talk to a 14 year old he'd never met, and offer to adopt her? It sounds a bit dodgy to me.


Tell an adult, it's important that someone knows that he has your address, phone number etc so that they can make sure you stay safe. You're obviously not gonna cut off contact with this man (although it's advisable) so just make sure you don't disclose any more personal information, get the relationship onto a level where you are really just friends, and make sure he knows it will never be anything else. Don't let him manipulate you, just think of everything from our point of view here and look after yourself. If he is genuine, he won't mind this, and he'll wait until you're old enough and can look after yourself properly okay? :]


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Old 19-12-2007, 05:52 AM   #29
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Im sorry, but i really have to agree with everyone else here. This is just creepy. GET OUT NOW. you really need to tell someone. what really scares me more than anything is that he knows where you live. please tell someone you trust this. im not trying to scare you but I am really worried about your safety.

Please get out of this hun, im really woried

feel free to pm me if you want.
xx
Erin

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Old 19-12-2007, 01:15 PM   #30
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Please hun get out.
I know you don't want to hear all these words and you genuinly believe this man is being honest and wants to do you no harm but it seems unlikely.

1. You made this post. You must have doubts about his intentions or the relationship
2. You are much younger than him. At 14 you are naither phsyically or mentally mature (no offense) and as a 40 year old he is well aware of this. He is taking advantage of you
3. If you think he is being nice and harmless then tell your parents. If he means no harm then surely they will understand. Right??
4. He cannot adopt you, he should be aware of this. Already he is giving false hope and making you believe what you want toi hear.
5. This is the internet. He can be whoever he wants to be. We can lie, live out our upmost fantasies, live whatever l;ife we want. He is probably doing the same.
6. What do you actually talk about?
7. Please listen to us. There are no-many words of warnings on here.
8. If he is genuine he can wait a few years till you are old and wiser.
9. IF and I mean IF you do decide to be silly and meet him please tell someone where you are going. Give his name, telephone number, adress and times of when and where you are going. If you go missing these will be importtant.
10. Stop saying sorry. This is not your fault and we are trying to protect you. Many of us have been where you are and are concerned.
It is natural for you to feel attached to someone over the internet.
Internet is a scary place as we can say what we want with no inhibitions but be careful.
"Tucking you in" and nurturing you is not his role. He should not be offering to do these things for you.
Please take care.

I developed an internet relationship with someone. He was actually near my age. Said he would look after me. I met him and he tried to rape me. I was old and strong enough to defend myself.
What is that happens to you?

Be careful and do not ignore what everyone is saying.

Please.

I am worried.

If you need to talk there are people on this site for you (that is what it is here for) you do not need this man.

PM me if you want to talk.
I am 25 and female

Please listen to us!!



Yes I am strange, deal with it!!!

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Old 26-12-2007, 04:34 AM   #31
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thank you all for your advice. i do appreciate it.
merry christmas everybody.
xxxx,
amber



Everyday they go to sleep hoping that when they wake up it'll be different... and everyday they wake up to see that hope is not there...
Make Love, NOT War.


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Old 26-12-2007, 11:51 PM   #32
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one word - grooming!

He may be a father figure to you but to this man I very much doubt that's all he sees it as.

DO NOT MEET HIM!!

You dont know who he is or even that he is who he says he is.

I really think you should tell someone about this hun, just to be on the safe side

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Old 27-12-2007, 02:09 AM   #33
Tweetyluver07
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im not going to meet him but quite frankly if i did i wouldnt see it as a bad thing. all men arent bad.



Everyday they go to sleep hoping that when they wake up it'll be different... and everyday they wake up to see that hope is not there...
Make Love, NOT War.


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Old 27-12-2007, 12:31 PM   #34
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Because it's the internet, it's easy for one to disguise themself.

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Old 27-12-2007, 06:10 PM   #35
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people have said a lot of nice things here, been really kind so in light of that i am just going to be quite blunt about it.
the likelihood is, this man wants to abuse you. if you meed him, you are being very stupid, immature and you will regret your decision. once, i met someone from the internet, when i was older than you. guess what happened? i woke up naked from the waist down and i didnt know what happened to me. do you want that to happen to you? because it probably will.
but then, you really dont want to listen to what we have to say do you? i get the feeling you were hoping for a very different response from us. but no one is going to say its ok, because ITS NOT. hes a ****ing pervert, grow up, wake up or you may just find yourself in some really deep ****.





"When I want your opinion, I'll beat it out of you" - Dr Samuel Loomis

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Old 27-12-2007, 07:21 PM   #36
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Whilst Raven does have a good pnt, not everyone is like this. I've met quite a few people offline and have all been lovely.

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Old 27-12-2007, 08:17 PM   #37
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sophie, while i appreciate that not everyone on the internet is like that you are kind of undoing what i and everyone else is trying to get across to tweety.
the things he is saying and doing isnt normal, its sending off alarm bells in everyones head.





"When I want your opinion, I'll beat it out of you" - Dr Samuel Loomis

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Old 28-12-2007, 01:49 AM   #38
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whatever
i guess i am wrong about people
i guess i canttrust him
and i cnat write out my thoughts here without people bawling me out
i cant trust anybody cna i?
the world is full of lies and **** is that it??'
figures... i should just ****ing end it right now



Everyday they go to sleep hoping that when they wake up it'll be different... and everyday they wake up to see that hope is not there...
Make Love, NOT War.


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Old 28-12-2007, 02:10 AM   #39
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Listen to us, please, hunny. We aren't trying to hurt you. The reason that these people are yelling at you is because they're SCARED for you. Maybe you're right and this guy is perfectly nice. But a lot of times, they're not. I know, trust me, I know. And we care about you too much to let you take that chance. You cannot put yourself in a place where you might get hurt.

Please stay safe, hun. We all care about you too much to want you to get hurt. And I'm not going to tell you that I'm so much older and wiser than you. Seriously, I'm only a 15 year old girl. I just don't want to see you get hurt.



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Old 28-12-2007, 03:25 PM   #40
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you all dont even know me how could you care about me?

it doesnt matter. im tired of everything and quite frankly i dont care.

but it does conclude my hypothesis doesnt it? you cant trust anyone. you cant talk to anybody. they only want to hurt you.

whatever.



Everyday they go to sleep hoping that when they wake up it'll be different... and everyday they wake up to see that hope is not there...
Make Love, NOT War.


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