Originally Posted by
~JellyBaby~
Sorry you're having such a hard time, it sounds like such a difficult situation to be in. Finance difficulties and lack of opportunity can be soul destroying.
Though it feels like you have none, there are other options than just sitting back and drinking it all away. Unfortunately all we get sometimes are 'least worst' options as opposed to best ones. That said, even choosing between least worst options is hard work when theres lots of them - simplify things as much as you can.
Take a hard look at the savings you have left. They're going whether you spend them living where you are or living somewhere else - without a job they're going to get spent.
So which is your least worst option? Stay where you are and get a job or go somewhere else and get a job? Or go stay/go somewhere for College?
I appreciate its a risk, but its a risk wherever you go and its riskier sitting still. If companies aren't keen on relocaters then consider taking a chance on moving somewhere with cheaper rent and/or better opportunities. Or taking a chance on going back to College.
I totally get why its overwhelming and it sounds like you haven't had an easy start, but you've got a long life to live, and the sooner you make a decision and throw yourself into it the better a chance you'll have of making it what you want to.
You deserve a job, an education, friends. You deserve a life you enjoy.
What do you want out of life? Where do you want to live? What job would you like? What small steps can you take to get there?
Every journey starts with a single footstep. What does your first one need to be?
I'm here to bounce ideas off or just to talk if you need - good luck!
The whole idea was that this was supposed to be soul-freeing and to get rid of the things that were keeping me down. Without any coherent objective or leads though I'm totally lost. The only idea I ever had was teaching myself some software programs and getting into an industry but I've hit a snag with teaching myself these.
My least worst option is definitely moving somewhere where rents are cheaper and transport is more accessible. It would also be good to get more access to social groups and colleges. So I'm definitely decided in moving away to a more urban area. The hard part now is trying to get work there. In the last 7 days I've sent nearly 200 applications. And every time someone calls me I have to sell myself as serious about relocation.
I've learned that I am a very poor decision maker. Deciding on what I want is a skill and I'm terrible at it. I don't have background knowledge of the industries I want/wanted to work in. I'm also irresponsible. If anything all I've done in life is throw myself at things to see what happens and that has not worked out.
What I do understand is that if I'm ever going to have a future I'm going to need to invent one myself. Somehow I need to put everything together and build a clear picture of my life grounded in reality instead of trying risky and random things all the time. It's up to me to train myself something that will get me steady work. Without that I'm going to be poor forever and I don't want that.