I have spoken to someone briefly about it, but not in full details and I sort of shrugged it off. I didn't want them knowing how much it was all affecting me. They said that I could talk to them about anything, but I have since tried starting a conversation, but in the end I chicken out as usual.
Part of me is scared to face what happened. I don't want it to be real. To have other people looking down on me thinking the same things about me that I think about myself. I couldn't cope if they realised how dirty I am. I would forever be living a couple of steps behind them (more than I am at the moment). I always compare myself to others (which I know can be more damaging than good) but I would love to live like them (yes I don't know what goes on behind closed doors) but I would like my confidence back just so that I could have a general conversation with somebody. I don't know. It's all been taken away. Sorry, this was a bit of a ramble!
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