Well hello, When you have been abused or bullied your self esteem usually takes a knock for it and so here are some tips I found that might help you get that boost you need.Hope you are all ok.
1) Think back to when you did something new for the first time
Learning something new is often accompanied by feelings of nervousness, lack of self belief and high stress levels, all of which are necessary parts of the learning process. The next time you feel under-confident, remembering this will remind you that it's perfectly normal - you're just learning!
2) Do something you have been putting off
Like writing or calling a friend, cleaning the house, tidying the garden, fixing the car, organizing the bills, making a tasty and healthy meal - anything that involved you making a decision, then following through!
3) Do something you are good at
Examples? How about swimming, running, dancing, cooking, gardening, climbing, painting, writing… If possible, it should be something that holds your attention and requires enough focus to get you into that state of 'flow' where you forget about everything else. You will feel more competent, accomplished and capable afterwards, great antidotes to low self esteem!
And while you're at it, seriously consider doing something like this at least once a week. People who experience 'flow' regularly seem to be happier and healthier.
4) Stop thinking about yourself
I know this sounds strange, but low self esteem is often accompanied by too much focus on the self. Doing something that absorbs you and holds your attention can quickly make you feel better.
5) Get seriously relaxed
If you are feeling low, anxious or lacking in confidence, the first thing to do is to stop thinking and relax properly. Some people do this by exercising, others by involving themselves in something that occupies their mind. However, being able to relax yourself when you want is a fantastic life skill and so practicing self hypnosis, meditation, or a physically-based relaxation technique such as Tai Chi can be incredibly useful.
When you are properly relaxed, your brain is less emotional and your memory for good events works better. A great 'rescue remedy'!
6) Remember all the things you have achieved
This can be difficult at first, but after a while, you'll develop a handy mental list of self-esteem boosting memories. And if you're thinking "But I've never achieved anything", I'm not talking about climbing Everest here.
Things like passing your driving test (despite being nervous), passing exams (despite doubting that you would), playing team sport, getting fit (even if you let it slip later), saving money for something, trying to help someone (even if it didn't work) and so on.
7) Remember that you could be wrong
If you are feeling bad about yourself, remember that you way you feel affects your thoughts, memory and behavior. So when you feel bad, you will only remember the bad times, and will tend to be pessimistic about yourself. This is where the tip 'Get Seriously Relaxed' comes in!
And a couple of my own that help me.
Every morning look in the mirror and pick out two things good about yourself and at the end of everyday think of something that you have done well or something good that has happened, it doesn't have to be big. Just anything. Set yourself small goals of things to do in the day if you have nothing to aim for then you don't try as hard and spend more time thinking.