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Old 20-04-2009, 03:29 PM   #1
Popple
 
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Self Esteem Tips *positive*

Well hello, When you have been abused or bullied your self esteem usually takes a knock for it and so here are some tips I found that might help you get that boost you need.Hope you are all ok.
Take care
Katy
x

1) Think back to when you did something new for the first time.

Learning something new is often accompanied by feelings of nervousness, lack of self belief and high stress levels, all of which are necessary parts of the learning process. The next time you feel under-confident, remembering this will remind you that it's perfectly normal - you're just learning!

2) Do something you have been putting off.

Like writing or calling a friend, cleaning the house, tidying the garden, fixing the car, organizing the bills, making a tasty and healthy meal - anything that involved you making a decision, then following through!

3) Do something you are good at.

Examples? How about swimming, running, dancing, cooking, gardening, climbing, painting, writing… If possible, it should be something that holds your attention and requires enough focus to get you into that state of 'flow' where you forget about everything else. You will feel more competent, accomplished and capable afterwards, great antidotes to low self esteem!

And while you're at it, seriously consider doing something like this at least once a week. People who experience 'flow' regularly seem to be happier and healthier.

4) Stop thinking about yourself!

I know this sounds strange, but low self esteem is often accompanied by too much focus on the self. Doing something that absorbs you and holds your attention can quickly make you feel better.

5) Get seriously relaxed.

If you are feeling low, anxious or lacking in confidence, the first thing to do is to stop thinking and relax properly. Some people do this by exercising, others by involving themselves in something that occupies their mind. However, being able to relax yourself when you want is a fantastic life skill and so practicing self hypnosis, meditation, or a physically-based relaxation technique such as Tai Chi can be incredibly useful.

When you are properly relaxed, your brain is less emotional and your memory for good events works better. A great 'rescue remedy'!

6) Remember all the things you have achieved.

This can be difficult at first, but after a while, you'll develop a handy mental list of self-esteem boosting memories. And if you're thinking "But I've never achieved anything", I'm not talking about climbing Everest here.

Things like passing your driving test (despite being nervous), passing exams (despite doubting that you would), playing team sport, getting fit (even if you let it slip later), saving money for something, trying to help someone (even if it didn't work) and so on.

7) Remember that you could be wrong!

If you are feeling bad about yourself, remember that you way you feel affects your thoughts, memory and behavior. So when you feel bad, you will only remember the bad times, and will tend to be pessimistic about yourself. This is where the tip 'Get Seriously Relaxed' comes in!


And a couple of my own that help me.
Every morning look in the mirror and pick out two things good about yourself and at the end of everyday think of something that you have done well or something good that has happened, it doesn't have to be big. Just anything. Set yourself small goals of things to do in the day if you have nothing to aim for then you don't try as hard and spend more time thinking.



You're entirely bonkers. But I'll tell you a secret. All the best people are.


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Old 20-04-2009, 06:41 PM   #2
Wonderland.
 
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Aww thats a great list Katy, thanks for posting it!

x



'Cause I'll always remember you the same.
Oh eyes like wild flowers within demons of change ♥


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Old 20-04-2009, 06:45 PM   #3
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Thanks Katie some excellent ideas will have to try some and see if they work!

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Old 20-04-2009, 06:51 PM   #4
green.eyes
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thanks katy. i needed that :)





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Old 20-04-2009, 07:26 PM   #5
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Thanks for that, i think im gonna print it off

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Old 20-04-2009, 11:03 PM   #6
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Thank you hun!

xxx






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Old 25-04-2009, 04:36 PM   #7
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thank you katy :)
xx

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Old 25-04-2009, 05:35 PM   #8
fallen wings44
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thank you so munch!!!!!!!



we are the fallen
we are the wounded
we are the shattered
we are the unheard
we are the brave
we are the strong
we are Survivors.
and.....
we are the future
we fallen can still rise by the wings of hope that lifts us~

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Old 25-04-2009, 10:41 PM   #9
soundheals
 
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bullying advice

I like the tips, I will try. I think I need more help or advice, if there is a better thread to post for this I hope you can direct me, I am new.
I just recently put a name to what I was experiencing at work, bullying, mostly by searching on the internet and found websites & forums. So I am new to this forum. Two employees that both me and my boss agree are bullys, controlling and manipulative. No they do not call me names or yell, but its more of the passive aggressive variety, yet they do get confrontational and just make you feel terrible. My boss decided to have a meeting where we could all share our feelings. Well, of course I stupidly was the only one who spoke out at first. We had some ground rules for when to talk and how to share but the two bullies never acknowledged those. Instead they turned on me and said I deserved it, I was not doing my job, etc. One turned it completely on me and made me out like I was the problem. I actually ended up apologizing to her! The other one reverted to poor me, how could I be this way to her, I know what she is going through, and broke down and cried. All I asked was not to be told to shut up, and the other lady I asked that she not try and tell me how to do my job. My boss just sat there and did nothing. We both were not prepared. I was devastated and cried all night. I felt so low, and could not believe what had just happened. Now they were justified in what they do. The problem is that when it was going on and even before the meeting, I knew I was going to get "put in my place". Yet I was frozen and unable to move out of that space of feeling like in a very small box, humiliated and scared I guess you could say. I can never think of the right thing to say at the time, and they just bull doze over me. After I am angry & humiliated. I think I know better, but they get me right where they want me everytime. I do not know how to move out of that space. I fear that I will have to quit, but now is not the right time. I can't afford to quit right now. I wish I could just come up with the right thing to say when it starts to happen, but instead I freeze up and after I feel terrible.
I know this feeling, I was in a very abusive marriages years ago. Its like no matter what you say the abusive turns the blame on you. I thought I worked through all that, but boy this has really taken me for a loop.
Any suggestions.

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Old 25-04-2009, 10:59 PM   #10
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Sound maybe if you start a new thread in this board you will get more replies.
x



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Old 27-04-2009, 05:59 PM   #11
fallen wings44
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sorry for double posting but thread is so awasome!!!!!!



we are the fallen
we are the wounded
we are the shattered
we are the unheard
we are the brave
we are the strong
we are Survivors.
and.....
we are the future
we fallen can still rise by the wings of hope that lifts us~

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