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Old 21-04-2009, 08:26 PM   #1
Cacoethes
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Triggering (Sexual Abuse) - just being paranoid?

ive labelled this as sexual abuse because it may trigger, im not sure that it is actually S/A
its probably just me being paranoid cos of what happened that time.

ive started seeing my dad again, after years of having no contact at all, and long story short, he keeps wanting to hug me, and when he does he sort of positions it so hes touching my chest, it seems accidental, but its happened everytime, so he must realise what hes doing.
once he held my had and slowly started to move it towards 'himself'
and when we were sitting on his bed, he lay down and pulled me down too, he instantly apologized.
so yeah, should i be worried, i cant talk to him about it, its too embarassing, but i dont know what to do about it



I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!


Who else is fine?!?!?


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Old 22-04-2009, 05:07 AM   #2
shadow-light
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if you can't bring it up dirrectly then maybe you could just say the all the physical contact makes you uncomfortable after not seeing him for so long? and ask if you can "build up to it", that way it may be easier to make boundaries...
i agree you may be being paranoid, but if it's making you uncomfortable then... well you have a right to feel comfortable around people...

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Old 23-04-2009, 01:05 PM   #3
bobbiwibble
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yes - you dont have to actually say that you feel sexually uncomfortable. it really could be accidental, but even if it isnt it doesnt necessarily mean he would ever do anything bad so you should let what might be him being plain-old-stupid ruin your chance at a relationship with him



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such sweet melodies and you flash your fin
then it's back to the depths where I cannot see you
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Old 23-04-2009, 01:07 PM   #4
bobbiwibble
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PS, Freud would probably say that he keeps touching your chest because its a symbol of how much you've grown up, and all the time he's missed with you. but that can probably be taken with a pinch of salt



heliotrope-lavender-candytuft-tulip-almond blossom-sycamore



Where do you turn when the night turns to singing
such sweet melodies and you flash your fin
then it's back to the depths where I cannot see you
but I built these towers just to honour you.....


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Old 23-04-2009, 06:14 PM   #5
Cacoethes
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thanks

i do get quite paranoid sometimes, ill try and think of something to say to him next time, i just dont want to embarass either of us



I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!


Who else is fine?!?!?


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Old 23-04-2009, 08:41 PM   #6
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I do think you are being understandably cautious but chances are he doesn't mean anything by it. Talking to him sounds like a good idea, just say you aren't comfortable with it you don't have to say why. I doubt you are going to embarass him but it's better than you feeling uncomfortable all the time.
Take care
x



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Old 23-04-2009, 09:06 PM   #7
Cacoethes
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yeah
i think its just what has happened to me in the past, it made me very cautious



I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!


Who else is fine?!?!?


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