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Old 10-07-2013, 01:21 AM   #1
YourWordsARobbery
 
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Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: London
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5 months free

-sorry that this is stupidly long, i just really have to get it off my chest-

It's been 5 months, i genuinely didn't feel a desire to SH anymore and i was feeling pretty good.
Things have been feeling a bit rough lately but i've been trying my damned hardest to do better things to take my mind off hurting myself and here's why:

The last time i did SH it was 2 days before i saw one of my favourite bands (All Time Low) and i didn't know what to do, i felt kinda lost and like i had let everyone down.
2 days later (Valentine's Day) i was Queueing outside the venue for ATL, i had met some awesome people, we saw the band and Mike Duce from Lower Than Atlantis walk into the venue and everything was feeling a bit better.
Anyway after waiting outside for about 5-6 hours we finally got inside, we were 2 people away from the barrier and right in front of Zack, i literally felt like i was having the best moment of my life.
During Damned If I Do Ya Jack had pointed at me and i'd never smiled so much in my life.
During this show i had realised how much this band meant to me especially when they played Therapy, at that moment i had just lifted my arms up and felt free like they'd given the escape i needed that was the moment i swore to myself i would never hurt myself again for as long as i live.

3 months later, i met All Time Low at an acoustic set and signing in Kingston (i was originally suppose to meet them on the 13th of february but they cancelled because Alex got sick) but anyway i had met up with one of my dearest friends and we met some amazing people in the queue after waiting for about 4 hours we went inside, again i was about 2-4 people away from the barrier right in front of Zack during the acoustic set, they played 6 songs and it was amazing.
after the acoustic set we all had to queue up again for the signing, when i got to the signing table i handed Jack a letters from me and my friend for the whole band and i got to high five him and Rian!

(This is why i try my damned hardest to never SH again)
Alex was next and i didn't ask him for a high five because i asked him if i could make him a promise and of course he said sure, i held my pinkie finger out to him and he locked his pinkie with mine, i told him about how much All Time Low had meant to me and how their music had helped me and that at that point i had been 3 months free (at this point i had burst into tears right in front of them and my voice started shaking) and i tried to tell him that i promise to never do it again and just as i walked along the table to Zack, Alex turned to me, done like a little power fist thing and said "You can do it!" i smiled with all these tears running down my face while trying to talk to Zack and asking him for a high five.
After i had gotten home i looked at my poster that they signed and noticed Zack drew a little smiley face under his signature which made me smile so much.
I always think about Alex saying "You can do it!" to me because i swear i can really do it, i can get past this and stay free.

Also on the 12th June i met Alex and Jack again just after they'd been on the radio, me and quite a few other fans had been waiting outside for a couple of hours, when they came out they were signing things for everyone, taking pictures and recording messages for people's friends. I got my Don't Panic lyric booklet signed, pictures with them (i held my phone out to Jack and he happily took it out my hand and took our picture together and i started shaking real badly i had to ask someone else to take my picture with alex 'cause i couldn't even hold my phone out properly) and they hugged me and even spoke to my friends over the phone 'cause they couldn't make it there in time.
Seriously these guys are everything to me.

Alex had said before that ATL were there to give people time to escape and that he never wants any of his fans to commit or hurt themselves.

It has now been nearly 5 months since i last did it and now whenever i feel sad or feel like doing it i think about those things and like i said i try my damned hardest not to do it, not for me but for them.

<3



"No matter how ugly the world gets or how stupid it shows me it is, I always have faith." -Gerard Way


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Old 10-07-2013, 03:59 AM   #2
PainfulSecrets
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I am so Happy for you! You should be so proud and I'm so jealous that you got to have that experience, ATL is absolutely amazing! Keep staying strong and always remember to keep that smile :)





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Old 10-07-2013, 11:21 AM   #3
Clive
 
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Inspirational stuff, congratulations for those 5 months and it's great ATL continues to be there for you.

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Old 10-07-2013, 02:35 PM   #4
Tig
 
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Awesome, well done <3 xxx

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