Beauty: RIP 3rd November 2008
Dylan left us 23rd March 2012
PM me any time you need to talk and I'll answer as soon as I can.
"Even the smallest person can change the course of the future" LOTR
Susanna Kaysen: I'm ambivalent. In fact that's my new favorite word.
Dr. Sonia Wick: Do you know what that means, ambivalence?
Susanna Kaysen: I don't care.
Dr. Sonia Wick: If it's your favorite word, I would've thought you would...
Susanna Kaysen: It *means* I don't care. That's what it means.
I don't know if I should be back in this thread. I left over a year ago.
But... I have to tell someone so I don't explode.
I went to fill out my exit loan counseling, so I could set up a payment plan on the loan that I took out my first year of college. It was only supposed to be $3000.
My mother took out another $6000, before she moved and left me.
Making my loan a grand total of $9000.
I don't know what to do.
I'll probably leave again, so don't worry if I don't come back very often. But this is the one place none of my family will think to look for me online.
"Life is easy to chronicle, but bewildering to practice."-- E.M. Forster
I wanna hurt myself again today, I feel utter crap :(
Beauty: RIP 3rd November 2008
Dylan left us 23rd March 2012
PM me any time you need to talk and I'll answer as soon as I can.
"Even the smallest person can change the course of the future" LOTR
*checks in for a while
i need to sort out my overanxious head and calm down
Have you ever confused a dream with life? Or stolen something when you have the cash? Have you ever been blue? Or thought your train moving while sitting still? Maybe I was just crazy. Maybe it was the 60's. Or maybe I was just a girl... interrupted.
I know what it's like to want to die. How it hurts to smile. How you try to fit in but you can't. How you hurt yourself on the outside to try to kill the thing on the inside. I tried groups, didn't work out just made my depression a lot worse.
Susanna Kaysen: I'm ambivalent. In fact that's my new favorite word.
Dr. Sonia Wick: Do you know what that means, ambivalence?
Susanna Kaysen: I don't care.
Dr. Sonia Wick: If it's your favorite word, I would've thought you would...
Susanna Kaysen: It *means* I don't care. That's what it means.
“The good things don’t always soften the bad, but vice-versa, the bad things don’t necessarily spoil the good things and make them unimportant.”
“Nobody important? Blimey, that’s amazing. Do you know, in nine hundred years of time and space I’ve never met anyone who wasn’t important before.”
“If it’s time to go, remember what you’re leaving. Remember the best. My friends have always been the best of me.”
Think I'll be here to stay this time :( *curls up in corner*
Hush, little baby, drink your spoiled milk
I'm crazy, need my prescription filled
Do you like my cookies? They're made just for you
A little bit of sugar, but lots of poison, too
My psych called me back yesterday evening after I called him and left him a message. I still haven't listened to the message yet
~Matt~
Susanna Kaysen: I'm ambivalent. In fact that's my new favorite word.
Dr. Sonia Wick: Do you know what that means, ambivalence?
Susanna Kaysen: I don't care.
Dr. Sonia Wick: If it's your favorite word, I would've thought you would...
Susanna Kaysen: It *means* I don't care. That's what it means.
Oops so sorry m0nk... I did not realize they were! My bad...
*replenishes the treats, goodies, and drinks on the table*
I finally listened to the msg from my psych... it sucks...
~Matt~
Susanna Kaysen: I'm ambivalent. In fact that's my new favorite word.
Dr. Sonia Wick: Do you know what that means, ambivalence?
Susanna Kaysen: I don't care.
Dr. Sonia Wick: If it's your favorite word, I would've thought you would...
Susanna Kaysen: It *means* I don't care. That's what it means.
no meds, pharmacy shut for bank holiday early.Hoping crisis team sort me with me,been off my 40mg dose of citalopram for 5 days now and it's kicking really really hard now,
Curls into corner and checks self in till more meds arrive
Save me, O God!
The water is up to my neck;
2 I am sinking in deep mud,
and there is no solid ground;
I am out in deep water,
and the waves are about to drown me. 3 I am worn out from calling for help, and my throat is aching.
I have strained my eyes,
looking for your help.
Have you ever confused a dream with life? Or stolen something when you have the cash? Have you ever been blue? Or thought your train moving while sitting still? Maybe I was just crazy. Maybe it was the 60's. Or maybe I was just a girl... interrupted.
I know what it's like to want to die. How it hurts to smile. How you try to fit in but you can't. How you hurt yourself on the outside to try to kill the thing on the inside. I tried groups, didn't work out just made my depression a lot worse.
Susanna Kaysen: I'm ambivalent. In fact that's my new favorite word.
Dr. Sonia Wick: Do you know what that means, ambivalence?
Susanna Kaysen: I don't care.
Dr. Sonia Wick: If it's your favorite word, I would've thought you would...
Susanna Kaysen: It *means* I don't care. That's what it means.
*checks in and goes to the corner, starting to cry*
Major Depression | Asperger's Syndrome | Anxiety NOS | Hints of OCD
Close your eyes. Don't you cry. Love's around you. In time, you'll fly. Don't you worry about the dark. I will light up the night with the love in my heart. I will burn like the sun that will keep you safe and warm. Like the smell of a rose on a summer's day, I will be there to take all your fears away. With the touch of my hand, I will turn your life to GOLD!
Susanna Kaysen: I'm ambivalent. In fact that's my new favorite word.
Dr. Sonia Wick: Do you know what that means, ambivalence?
Susanna Kaysen: I don't care.
Dr. Sonia Wick: If it's your favorite word, I would've thought you would...
Susanna Kaysen: It *means* I don't care. That's what it means.
i'm sick. keep sneezing all over the place. most annoying part is that i want to sneeze but then i keep wanting to sneeze for the next 2 minutes then i stop worrying about it then i sneeze....
I feel very paranoid... I'm scared people are secretly watching me... *cries* I want to hurt myself so bad right now...
Major Depression | Asperger's Syndrome | Anxiety NOS | Hints of OCD
Close your eyes. Don't you cry. Love's around you. In time, you'll fly. Don't you worry about the dark. I will light up the night with the love in my heart. I will burn like the sun that will keep you safe and warm. Like the smell of a rose on a summer's day, I will be there to take all your fears away. With the touch of my hand, I will turn your life to GOLD!
