Triggering (SI) - You cannot fix the damage.
I hate that place with every inch of my body. Seeing they can send me there but they cannot stop me from cutting. I have tried my hardest to hang on and I made a mistake. The doctor just looked at me the whole time swinging his head side to side and saying that I shouldn't hurt myself but he doesn't get it. I got all 3 cuts stitched up and my mom just got out her booze like usual and went to bed. Comming back from a psychward you would think it would change me but when you here people screaming daily, people trying to commit suicide infront of you, and having to open up and say the things they want you to... that wouldn't cause any triggers right? wrong. since then I have had to go back to get stiches so many times I lost count and they just got fed up with me and refuse to send me back. I don't care anymore anyways... the only thing that keeps me here is the only thing I have known for years... my razor blade.
They can't send me anywhere because it will not help unless I want to.
I have fallen back into my old ways and refuse to change.
I have cut once more tonight but I was careful but what is the point of being careful.
heather
|