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25-07-2016, 11:19 AM
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#1
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It's Bouquet! B-U-C-K-E-T!
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Wales, UK
I am currently:
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Contains sexual abuse - Upset
I received a letter regarding my cervical screening test. Because of the fact that I was SA I really can't go for one. I would find it very triggering. Besides I am not sexually active atm.
Each time I go to see a female gp I get a lecture about not getting a test. I usually ignore them. But this letter has bothered me. I am never going to be normal. The abuse is still affecting me even though it has been more than a decade since I was last abused. I am currently single but it's going to affect any relationship I have. He didn't just abuse me he changed my life.
I guess that I should just shove the letter in the shredder.
But it's all flooding back and that I can't handle.
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Wannabe CPN : -)
"He who is tired of Weird Al is tired of life." - Homer Simpson
"I hear those voices that will not be drowned"
Sanity is a nasty disease. The world would be a happier place without it. - Rilic
RIP Kat 4th July 1987- 11th June 2013
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25-07-2016, 02:07 PM
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#2
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Join Date: Sep 2012
I am currently:
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I know exactly what you mean.i will write more later
hugs to you x
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"And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back so shake him off."
"What others think of me is none of my business".
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25-07-2016, 05:41 PM
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#3
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Join Date: Feb 2016
I am currently:
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I feel the same way when i receive the letter. I throw it away whenver i get it. My GP seems fine with me not getting it done but i still get the letters and they have a bad effect on me everytime.
I am quite sure, regardless of whether or not you were abused it is still your choice and your GP should respect that. Sorry don't have more to say *hugs*
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You have to do everything you can. You have to work your hardest. And if you do, if you stay positive, then you have a shot at a silver lining
'Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life'
“Courage does not always roar. Sometimes, it is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, ‘I will try again tomorrow.’”
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25-07-2016, 06:32 PM
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#4
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It's Bouquet! B-U-C-K-E-T!
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Wales, UK
I am currently:
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Thanks everyone.
Sock normally I just shred it and it just annoys me. But this time it has effected me. I had sa counselling and it was one of the things that I discussed. I don't get any lectures from male doctors just female. I just wish I could say to the gp the truth though. Fortunately it's rare that I visit the gp and my previous gp (female) has left so hopefully the new gp won't lecture me.
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Wannabe CPN : -)
"He who is tired of Weird Al is tired of life." - Homer Simpson
"I hear those voices that will not be drowned"
Sanity is a nasty disease. The world would be a happier place without it. - Rilic
RIP Kat 4th July 1987- 11th June 2013
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26-07-2016, 01:08 AM
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#5
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It's Bouquet! B-U-C-K-E-T!
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Wales, UK
I am currently:
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I am sorry to be a pain but I am struggling with the fact I feel like I need to punish myself. That's how I feel the majority of the time when I get triggered. I have SIed in the past but it's not a option. But I feel like overeating. I will eat tons of junk food. It doesn't help that I have tesco coming later so will have lots of food in the flat.
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Wannabe CPN : -)
"He who is tired of Weird Al is tired of life." - Homer Simpson
"I hear those voices that will not be drowned"
Sanity is a nasty disease. The world would be a happier place without it. - Rilic
RIP Kat 4th July 1987- 11th June 2013
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26-07-2016, 01:13 PM
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#6
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Join Date: Feb 2016
I am currently:
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I'm sorry you felt that way last night. How are you feeling today?
Is there anything that could help with the thoughts of punishing yourself?
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You have to do everything you can. You have to work your hardest. And if you do, if you stay positive, then you have a shot at a silver lining
'Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life'
“Courage does not always roar. Sometimes, it is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, ‘I will try again tomorrow.’”
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26-07-2016, 01:57 PM
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#7
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It's Bouquet! B-U-C-K-E-T!
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Wales, UK
I am currently:
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I still feel like punishing myself. I am struggling with not overeating but that is not necessarily a good thing. Because then I deliberately undereat as a punishment.
I don't know what I can do. It's the one issue that I never received any help for. I usually start disassociating whenever things get this bad but I haven't so far. The only person I feel comfortable talking to is my cpn since she knows about the abuse but she's on holiday this week
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Wannabe CPN : -)
"He who is tired of Weird Al is tired of life." - Homer Simpson
"I hear those voices that will not be drowned"
Sanity is a nasty disease. The world would be a happier place without it. - Rilic
RIP Kat 4th July 1987- 11th June 2013
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27-07-2016, 12:24 AM
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#8
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It's Bouquet! B-U-C-K-E-T!
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Wales, UK
I am currently:
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I managed to shred the letter. It has made me feel a bit better but I am still struggling with the fact that I want to punish myself. I know that I won't get any more letters for quite a while yet and it's nothing personal since they are sent out automatically. Hopefully I can move on but I feel a little bit better. Not much but it's a start.
Yesterday I ate normally which is a achievement I suppose.
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Wannabe CPN : -)
"He who is tired of Weird Al is tired of life." - Homer Simpson
"I hear those voices that will not be drowned"
Sanity is a nasty disease. The world would be a happier place without it. - Rilic
RIP Kat 4th July 1987- 11th June 2013
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