Covering up scars

[Charmed]

Hi all, I'm currently working with children and adults with special needs and varying Mental Health issues. The majority of my scars are on my legs so are covered at all times, but I have some scars on my arms. I usually try and cover them at work, but recently because it's hot I haven't. But I've received a lot of comments from my colleagues which I'm not sure how to handle.

Would you keep your scars covered? Or find excuses? I'm not sure what the best thing to do is.

I don't cover my arms in general life, it doesn't really bother me anymore. But I'm wondering if the more appropriate and professional thing to do at work would be to cover them?

Thanks for any replies :)

[talaiporia]

I cover up at work because I don't want questions. Theres no obligation to do so and you shouldn't feel you have to. Especially in your field, I dont think there's any harm in not having them covered.

If it does bother you. If the issue is colour (pink) of scars, dermablend can help conceal them (like a concealer) .

[Aubergine]

I covered up at work for a long time, but then decided to stop because it's hot and my uniform cardigan is scratchy. I had briefed my colleagues before I went in short sleeves, but I needn't have really.


I'm sorry your colleagues have commented. In my eyes that's unprofessional, whereas wearing short sleeves isn't. People have scars for all sorts of reasons and self harm shouldn't trap you in long sleeves wherever you work.

[Charmed]

Thanks both for your replies they were helpful.

I think I'll continue to wear short sleeves then... So you don't think it's unprofessional if I do? I haven't spoken to my colleagues about it, but it's pretty obvious what it is. They stare a lot. But I kind of don't care anymore... Which I feel is bad!

Anyway thanks :)

[Serendipity.]

I'm going to be a bit controversial (sorry) and say that in my opinion, it depends a bit on the people you're working with. I cover up my scars most of the time anyway, but I always make sure to cover up at work because most of our clients do struggle with self harm. So I feel like it wouldn't be appropriate for me to be sitting there with really obvious self harm scars when there's a good chance that for some of them it would be upsetting or triggering.

But having said that, you do have every right to be comfortable at work and not overheat! I don't think it's right for your colleagues to be commenting and I don't think it's bad that you don't care what they think. It isn't really any of their business! If you do have concerns maybe just have a word with your manager.

I hope that you're doing okay :) <3

[Charmed]

Thanks Hannah. I agree with you I think. I always cover my scars if I'm around people with mental health issues, in my old job they were constantly covered. But for children/adolescents or those with special needs I haven't been. Do you think this is okay?

I work for an agency so where I work and who I work with ranges massively - hence many people stare/ask questions because the people I'm working with may not have met me before.

Sorry I know I've asked a thousand questions. And I'm probably thinking about this way too much so will be quiet now.

[Serendipity.]

You don't need to be quiet lovely, I can understand this bothering you and it's totally fine to post about it here.

I think it's fine yes, though it doesn't really matter what I think! As long as you're comfortable I wouldn't worry about it too much.

I can imagine it being more difficult when the people you work with changes all the time. Would it help to have a standard answer you can use whenever people ask about it?

[Pi.R^2]

Apologies for going on a slight tangent, but I think I disagree with you a bit Hannah (Serendipity). For a service user who struggles with self harm, it could be positive for them to see someone working in mental health who has old scars, as that tells them that it is possible to stop self harming and that a history of self harm doesn't stop you getting a great job. Though I completely see that it could also have the negative effect of being triggering and of course it's always up to the individual whether or not they want to cover up. [/tangent].

Hannah (Charmed), I don't think it's unprofessional. I recently started a new job in a secondary school with no air-conditioning and I was too hot to really do my job properly so I spoke to the deputy head teacher and she had no problem with me wearing short sleeves when necessary, so that confirmed to me that it's not unprofessional which was a big concern of mine. We discussed how best to answer any potential questions, and I plan to go for "gosh, that's quite a personal question" and refocus them on what they're supposed to be doing (maths and not asking me personal questions). I know another RYLer who says "I got hurt when I was little, but don't worry, I'm OK now" for primary children. Perhaps you'd find either of those helpful, depending on the age and level of understanding of the person asking.

In terms of adult colleagues, they should really know better and I'd be tempted to say something sarcastic like "I fell in a blender" (also an excuse stolen from another RYLer!).

Sorry for such a ramble. tl;dr I don't think it's unprofessional and you may find it helpful to have an answer 'prepared' for if people do ask.

[Serendipity.]

Yeah, I'm aware that it could be a positive thing for some people. However, most of the people I work with self harm, and while it could be a good thing for some of them to see a support worker with visible scars, for a lot of them it wouldn't and could be triggering or upsetting. There's also the potential that they would feel they had to censor what they said out of fear of 'triggering' me. I know that when I was actively self harming, I would have struggled to work with a support worker who had obvious self harm scars on show, particularly if they were 'worse' than mine (terrible, I know, but probably not that unusual!) Whereas on the other hand, I shouldn't *have* to have scars on show or even for clients to know that I have a history of self harm, to be able to show empathy and reassure them that it's possible to get through it. So personally I feel that the potential risks of not covering up outweigh the potential benefits.

That is, of course, just my opinion, and I'm not saying that everyone needs to do what I do! I also think that even in mental health, not every client group will be the same or have the same needs, what I've said is fairly specific to where I work.

[MyLastKiss]

I don't think you should cover up your scars Charmed ...having said that, seeing SI-scars often triggers me. I would like to have scars like others have and be able to show them. As an university teacher that's impossible to show my own (at least I think so).

[Charmed]

Thank you for all your replies.

I think everyone has very valid points and it hugely varies from person to person. I've decided to not show my scars around those with MH issues, but to ignore the adults who should know better than to ask annoying questions in an LD/SEN environment.