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Old 06-06-2007, 01:38 PM   #1
perfection is a flaw
 
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Triggering (Sexual Abuse) - evil therapist

i just saw my therapist and she told me that its a good thing that i had a miscarriage. she said that because of all the sexual and physical abuse ive been through that its very likely that id abuse my own children.

now im terrified that im going to hurt people

i dont want to

i would never inflict what ive been through on someone else

so why did she say that

im confused

i want to scream and destroy things and bleed but im in a psych ward so i cant
theyll sedate me

im not even sure why im posting this

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Old 06-06-2007, 01:42 PM   #2
inkyspider
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Hun, i think it was horrible of her to say that to you.
I don't think it's true at all.
Is there any chance she said that to try and make you feel better about the miscarriage?
I'm sorry i don't have much useful to say, i just wanted to let you know that i think it was horrible she said that.
Please take care,
Tabby




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Old 06-06-2007, 03:28 PM   #3
ghosts in the machine
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I guess, thinking along the psychological view, if you've been abused you are more likely to abuse. Although that's not to say that all abusers were abused, and all those who were abused, will become abusers. The theory thinks along the lines that you learn from life experience what relationships are like, and you apply this schema (template) to your future relationships.

However, I believe we do all have a choice over our actions. And if you think about it - you said yourself that you would never inflict what you've been through on someone else.

I'm sure that, since you know how much damage abuse causes, you wouldn't abuse anyone.

I'm sorry she said that to you - it sounds horrible. Can you tell her how much it hurt?

Please take care sweetie
xx



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Old 06-06-2007, 03:29 PM   #4
Nici-x
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I can't believe your therapist has said this to you, this was a terrible thing to say. You should ignore her about how u would end up hurting your children also. This is not necessarily true at all. Please don't take this to heart too much.
Hope ur ok
PM if u need 2 talk
xx



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Old 06-06-2007, 05:36 PM   #5
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That is a terrible thing to say! Just because someone is abused doesn't mean they will do it. Of course there are people that repeat a cycle but it sure as hell isn't set in stone. Screw that therapist she doesn't know what she's talking about. I'm sure one day you can have a family of your own and be happy with them. And if you're worried about how you'll be raising them there are plenty of parenting classes to take and books to read. You'd just have to look them up while you were pregnant and practice methods to raise and discipline children. *hugs* You should seriously look into a new therapist.

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Old 06-06-2007, 06:03 PM   #6
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Don't listen to her.
I see where she could get that from because initially most abusers, were abused.
But I think for her to make the judgement of you she'd have to know if you were violent etc.
and not that I know you either to make any judgement.
Honestly though, one tell her you don't need her saying that sort of **** to you, and two don't worry about it after you've told her. You know in your heart whether you'd be capable of being a good mother or not. take care of yourself, and try your best to recover.
If none of that works, try asking for a new therapist.
Because you can never get better if you don't like her.

*hug*

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Old 06-06-2007, 07:57 PM   #7
chingas
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She should not have to said that.. That was wrong..
Yeah there might be hihger risk to start abusing own child after being abused.. but that's not something that is absolutely happening..
I belive that persin who have been abused knows the risks better and can avoid abusing better althoug..

Hope your ok!
*hugs*

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Old 06-06-2007, 08:15 PM   #8
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Oh my God, that is a truly horrific thing to say! Like the others have said, I'd strongly recommend seeing about getting a different therapist




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Old 06-06-2007, 09:01 PM   #9
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You can get a new therapist.

You can also log a formal complaint. There are forms and guidelines for doing this within the NHS. If you're having trouble, speak to PALS (Patient Advice Liason Services).

-Rhi



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Old 07-06-2007, 12:10 PM   #10
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thanks everyone for the replies, they made me feel a lot better.
i saw her again this morning and she said she wasnt trying to upset me she was just 'informing' me of how abuse tends to go round in circles. im going to see about getting a new therapist but im kind of scared to ask, i dont really know who to ask about it either.

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Old 07-06-2007, 12:32 PM   #11
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be a good idea to get a new therapist hun, even if she had a point it was very unprofensional of her to say that..i was abused in horrible ways and have three beautiful kids, and because of what i went through i make sure that they never experience that kind of pain etc..pls dont question yourself and think that you are capable of doing that to anoyone, believe what you feel inside of you..good luck hun.



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Old 10-06-2007, 12:16 AM   #12
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we are so sorry she said that to you
what a horrable thing to say
*hugs*
we hope you find a diffant one

we have herd that people who are abused got on to be abusers
but we think that is crap
just becouse you have been abused dont mean you have to go and abuse others
you have a choice not to hurt anyone like you have been

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Old 13-06-2007, 12:00 AM   #13
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Wow. She does not deserve to have her job! It is not a guarantee that you would abuse anyone! Especially since you are so adamently against causing any pain to someone... Don't worry about it and... FIND ANOTHER THERAPIST! I send my love. :D



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Old 13-06-2007, 03:29 PM   #14
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thanks for all the replies and im getting a new therapist soon *is happy*
theyre taking a long time about it though.

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