Well... hi. How did I end up back here?

[Hey_Delilah]

Wow, RYL, it has been a few years since we last spoke. New me, new username, still with the same old bad habits. I’m definitely too old for this - god, I even remember when we were “RuinYourLife.” So, here I am back again. A lot has changed, I’ve done some great stuff, I’ve bagged some diagnoses and I’ve made some good decisions and some terrible ones. Hell, I even got my doctorate! I’m great at what I do, I get told how talented I am, the whole nine yards.

It’s still. Just. Not. Enough.

It’s the same old story, I get ‘better’ for a while, then the walls cave in again. I’m struggling. I just can’t hold it together and I can’t stick to healthy coping strategies. My finger is just never far away from the self-destruct button, but I do so well at hiding it all. I hold down a good job, and the sense of responsibility means I won’t just let myself totally fall apart. Good in some ways, bad in others.

Anyway, I just wanted to drop in. I’m not sure what I’m looking for, but for some reason this seemed the place to go even after all of these years.

[meag2301]

I'm sorry you've found yourself back here but know we're all here supporting you. I'm in the same boat as you so know you're not alone and I'm here to talk if you need. I wish I knew more of what to say to help.

[Hey_Delilah]

Thank you both, it’s really kind of you to reply <3 I guess I do have to look at returning as a positive rather than a negative - surely even posting something once is a good thing, rather than bottling everything up only to lose it all further down the line. I’m sorry to hear you both have your struggles too, and if there’s anything I can do at any point then please don’t hesitate to message me. Often being a listening ear to someone else helps to take me away from my own dramas, and I’m always happy to help if I can