Well i went to the doctors today and i think i was a state there as well, i said everything about work, anxiety and the self harming. They said if i was self harming i should be referred back to the mental health team but i was against it as i cant speak to people as i close up and its pointless. They gave me beta blockers for the anxiety and as its mostly work related to go back in a few weeks as i may need to be referred over to them.
Found out im working 7am til 3pm mon to fri which i wasnt too happy about as im going to struggle to get in for 7am. I said this to someone in work and got a lot of anger back and being told to man up and get over it as other people have issues in life and people got put on worse shift patterns and i should be grateful as i wanted them to change and got what i want. They dont know about my issues and im not going to justify, i got really upset and started panicking again so tried a beta blocker, god i feel funny now. Either way i cannot win.
"Its not how long a star shines, what is remembered is the brightness of the light"
I'm so sorry your struggling with work. I know how you feel. I hate work, but I need work. I hate it my anxiety hits the roof and I feel like I want to die rather than go. I self harm loads up get me through. Not that it helps
I don't understand myself... I'm searching for the person I am, and the person I want to be..
Just don't know how to help her she in crisis house and people calling me names saying I shoudl of known she OD and shouldn't elft etc taking its toll on me
It was up to her if she Od U can't stop someone they have to take responsibility for Urself I found this out with my friend who has now gone to rehab n I'm doing Sooo much better which tbh has made the decision to distance my self from her easier...U need to work out whether Ur friendship is toxic or not like are u both bouncing off each other sending each other into crisis(not on purpose but it does happen)
run with scissors, i agree with cheryl as sometimes people who are ill as well that your friends with is not a good thing and can be damaging to yourself as well, you need to figure out if you want them as a friend or to back off a little to give yourself time to cope.
I know how you feel mark, i only have four more days off then back to work but today is the only day i had nothing planned as rest of the time its catching up with people so had time to worry again about going back. Have taken a few of the beta blockers but i think they make me feel strange, i guess as they are supposed to calm your nervous system i feel kinda slow, tired and lightheaded. I dont really know if i should take 3 a day or just when i need to as all i got told is i can take up to 3 a day, but at the same time i dont want to rely on more drugs, im mental enought as it is.
Im really scared to go back to work, as i know emotions are going to be high but alas i have 4 days left and need to try not to think about it and take the pills when i do. Just feel so on my own with this.
"Its not how long a star shines, what is remembered is the brightness of the light"
Customer service in a call centre, not my dream job but hey it does and i dont mind it. It means i need to take inbound calls from customers though sometimes i wonder why i do it as i hate using phones (i know the irony) and hate speaking to people sometimes especially the customers that love to scream and shout or want to have a chat (cause im awkward like that). Its more though at the moment not to do with the job but where i work as we moved to a new employer as the old one lost the contract so under law we moved with the project so its been a big change and something im not used to or good with. To me its an awful environment to be in at the moment due to people being emotional about shifts and changes taking place, i have been as well but now ive been put on a shift that i cannot even get on for as transport at mines doesnt really pick up until 6.30am because if the bus doesn't turn up (and doesnt turn up a lot!) or i miss it i need to wait 45 mins for the next bus. I didnt even think i would go on this shift as my contracted hours the earliest start time is 8am, but to be honest i dont think anyone really cares in that place.
"Its not how long a star shines, what is remembered is the brightness of the light"