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Old 08-07-2020, 12:00 AM   #21
Bellatrix
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You've lost your hunger cues. It took years for mine to restablish and even now I sometimes don't feel hungry until I feel sick from it.

You might benefit from a regimented meal plan for a while that is adjusted to your needs and have your hunger and urges monitored and tracked. Maybe if you're able to speak to an ED related person you could mention this. It might sound strange but your natural hunger cues are a good path to follow when you're trying to get better. They take a while to trust you again, but it's a positive step in recovery when they start to come back.




Imperfection is underrated.



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Old 08-07-2020, 09:46 PM   #22
Pi.R^2
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Elmer View Post
Hey, sorry, things been mental here. Physical check was ok, got a text telling me my liver function is a bit out of range but I think all ok other than that. Eating is weird. My mum is visiting due to other circumstances and got worried I wasn't eating so I've had to prove I am and I can't purge or take laxatives and I'm fat and bloated and i hate it. People keep going on about how much weight I've lost but I'm still enormous. I can't wait to go back to restricting even though I felt like **** and couldn't sleep. I just want to be a healthy weight again. That can't be bad can it?
I know. This is a stupid way to go about it. But my brain is programmed to see food as some sort of challenge: all or nothing. I don't know when I'm hungry until I start passing out and I don't know when I'm full until I'm in pain.
<3

Wanting to be a healthy weight isn't bad in itself. But getting there in unhealthy ways is. And surely what you want is to be a healthy weight and not have your life dictated by an eating disorder? And the way you get that is by doing it in a healthy way and with help and by taking small steps every day that are heading in the right direction, not in the wrong direction. I know it feels insurmountable but it isn't. Recovery is always possible and I have never stopped believing in your ability to get better.



We may not see eye to eye, but we can respect each other's opinions and find the truth in them.
Perhaps in those honest conversations, instead of demonising each other,
we might see each other as imperfect humans, doing our best. ~ Jodi Picoult


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