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Old 10-09-2014, 10:32 PM   #1
marimar
 
Join Date: Oct 2013
i dont need help? or do i?

I'm starting with therapy, second time in my life and just had third assesment. One more to go and they will tell me if i need a therapy and what kind.
I'd really like to change this time, to recover but somehow, when i have to tell others about ed and my food isses, i minimize the problem and even think i dont have one. Im more or less healthy, had a nice, caring family, wasnt abused, i should be fine, right?! And maybe i dont acctually need it..
.
On the other hand, its been going on for so long and i know i need some kind of help and support but just cant get over this feeling that i'm not supposed to have a problem, that i'm acctually fine. This just doesnt allow me to take advantage of the therapy and i usually just end up giving up, not staring it.
I dont want thus to happen again, i want to get help but dont know how to make mayself admit it to me and othera that there is a problem. Does anyone feel like this and how you get pass this thoughts and embrase therapy and professional help? Thanks

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Old 11-09-2014, 01:23 AM   #2
DrSpock
 
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I think feeling undeserving of help (therapy, support from friends, benefits etc) is normal both in eating disorders and other mental health problems.

Maybe don't try and get over the feeling? Maybe let the feeling that you don't deserve it be whilst also, you know, asking for it.

Perhaps even vocalising to whomever it is that is offering support that you feel you both need it and don't need it (or deserve it) at the same time. Getting it out into the fresh air, so to speak, can help these things stop festering.

Wishing you all the best

And, as a post script. You are totally and utterly deserving of help simply because you are a worthy human being who is struggling. And worthy human beings all deserve help if they're struggling right?

(I tend to fall under the school of thought which deems all beings are pretty much automatically worthy)

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Old 12-09-2014, 10:48 PM   #3
DellaxRosie
you never listen to anyone because you're young
 
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Just because you dont have a "reason" to have a problem doesn't mean you can't have one. There are millions of reasons things like this start. Maybe therapy is not right for you? People recover in different ways. You need to get what help is right for you. For me therapy never worked. I've never gone to therapy for my current issues but I did go when I was younger for things that happened in my childhood. Whenever I went I felt really defensive and it made my anger and depression worse.

And trust me, admitting you have a problem is the hardest part. It's been 10 years since mine began and I still have trouble admitting it especially to other people.

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Old 13-09-2014, 01:31 AM   #4
marimar
 
Join Date: Oct 2013

Thanks for your replies, i really apprrciate it. It's a weird freeling that is always in the back of my mind. Not that i think i dont deserve help, just that i think deep down that because i didnt have a traumatic experience, i must be ok. And i know i'm not....
Guess i'll try saying it out loud so they are aware i tend to shut or minimize the problem. And if i minimaze it, they won't be able to help.
Btw, i've been doing ok food wise these days so pritty proud because of it :)

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Old 24-09-2014, 05:30 AM   #5
washedoutdreamer
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Remember that mental health problems can also be caused by a chemical imbalance in your brain. This means that you can be depressed, anxious, etc because your brain is telling you these things regardless of your life situation or upbringing. It's as much not your fault as having a heart problem.
And you should definitely reach out. Service providers are trained to be able to help you even with your minimizing the problem--they can actually help you with that exactly. You just have to be willing to try and know it won't always be easy.



Be Strong, Be Smart, Be Proud
Live Honorably and With Dignity
and Just Hold On....


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Old 26-09-2014, 09:17 PM   #6
frail_izzi
 
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I feel like this, if you want to talk, PM me anytime coz I have felt like this for so long and I would love to have someone who gets it x

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Old 27-09-2014, 05:52 AM   #7
marimar
 
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Thanks a lot guys, i've been reading your advises and i did tell my assesment team what i tend to do usually. I've been offered a group therapy (hm... already posted concers about it here) but i finally decided to try and get 1 on 1 counceling. It's just more for me at this stage.
It will be hard to get it as there is no expert here so even though the waiting list is not big, i dont know if any of the doctors would accept to do it. In the meantime, i kind of got stuck in the same routine as every time: work, work, work, study and i dont have time to think. And when i dont think about the concequences, i tend to eat lesa and less which is whats been going on the last few weeks. Of course, i lost weight....... not intenetionaly, it just happens. I just dont know what to do and this site became my only filter as my fruenda moved on. I cant really mention this to someone who just had a miscarage (like one of my best friends) or who cant find a job for years with a medical degree (another friend)
So i just keep it for myself.... sorry for the ramble,

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Old 27-09-2014, 10:59 AM   #8
Too Shy
 
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There's no need to apologise for rambling. :)

One-to-one counselling sounds like a good plan for you if you're concerned about group therapy; how's it going with getting the one-to-one counselling so far? It sounds like it's going to be difficult if you're not sure who will be able to do it, so you do have anyone you can talk to in the meantime when you're struggling?

Make sure you give yourself breaks during the work and study. I am very similar in that I overwork and overstudy to avoid thinking, and then end up eating less too, but if nothing else, you will be more productive if you can eat enough to keep your energy up. Your body needs fuel, it's so, so important.

Do try to speak to your friends if you can - no matter what they have going on, it is better to try and talk to them if you can, just as I'd imagine you would hope they do if they are struggling. Keeping it to yourself makes the struggle so much worse.

Take care x










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Old 15-10-2014, 01:01 AM   #9
frail_izzi
 
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Don't apologise for rambling this is your space <3 Well done for telling your team and trying group <3
I really want to try a group but idk if I'll get offered it
good luck hunny x

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Old 15-10-2014, 02:37 PM   #10
marimar
 
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Hey i didn't try group in the end, just dont feel confortable sharing like that. It might be grear thing but for now, i chose the only option awailable: every 2 weeks ill have a catch up with one of the nurses, they'll check my weight and try to keep me focuse on recovery. Its not really therapy but apart from group, the only other optiom is this or 4 weeks intensive therapy where i'd spend the whole day at the hospital (eat there). I cant do it as its not managable with my work. I acctually thought about it which scares me, i thought its not that serious.
The fact is, my weight is really low now, i cant remember when i was thiner and im really worried. I eat but apparantly mot enough and i have to focuse on recovery but instead, work and studiea are so intense and important now. I cant allow myself time off.....
Basicly, im stuck.... and very scared as my weight cant continue dropping....

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Old 25-10-2014, 08:36 PM   #11
marimar
 
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Hi everyone, i kind of desided that today will be the first day of the rest of my life. I had an app with my nurse and i havnt been thinner in a long time. Thats not good but we agreed a goal for the next 2 weeks and a few things i'll do to reach it.
Everyone keeps saying weight recovery comes first and than the rest. I know iya important but i kind of desided to try and change my attitute. I want to have a more positive look at the world and my life and hopefully the rest will follow. Dont know if this makes sence but ill try it. So any suggestions how to be more positive? Thanks

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