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Old 23-09-2014, 03:52 AM   #1
Join Date: Jun 2007

Why is everything always so hard? I was doing better finally then I got sick ugh and it's all fallen apart since I have barely any appetite. It's frustrating to start all over again. Plus my legs ach I cough so hard my chest hurts and I have a fever.

I got a quote for electric hookup and it's nice that the guy actually cared and booted me to the top of his list because hes concerned about my well being but the quote is well over double that of the other quote (The other guy said he would send me paperwork and never did). (I just have a generator and it's getting cold out 50 degrees or so at night (freezing is 32)) I can't run the generator all the time because gas is insanely expensive.

Hes talking about hooking my electric up at the end of this week or the beginning of next week which im really hoping for but im scared to get my hopes up because this whole process has been a headache.

I found a company I can work for online because im not well enough to get a "job" but I have to have electric to keep my computer going. It's a bad catch 22 that will hopefully be solved really soon. I'm just really scared. Since money is going to be extremely tight. My mind keeps telling me to suck it up and just get a job somewhere but my body can't handle it right now and my short term memory is terrible. Tonight I was questioning whether I fed the dog a couple hours ago.

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Old 24-09-2014, 05:19 AM   #2
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Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Pennsylvania [USA]
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It sounds like you're in a really hard spot right now. It is wicked frustrating to have to start over again but remember that you can do this. You've proven that to yourself in the past. I hope you can get electric on soon. As far as the online job goes, is there a local library with internet access that you can get started at until you can do it at home? And don't feel badly about not being well enough for a 'real job' as you called it. It's good that you know your limits. It's better to only take on what you can handle than try and take on too much and end up far worse in other aspects in your life.
I know it probably seems like everything is against you right now, but don't give up. I have faith in you and am here to support you.

Be Strong, Be Smart, Be Proud
Live Honorably and With Dignity
and Just Hold On....

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Old 25-09-2014, 03:11 PM   #3
Join Date: Jun 2007

Thank you so much. I have used the library but they don't allow food/drink so I end up not staying long. I found a park that has a wooden shelter with electric. The guy is coming this morning to install the electric pole. Then in a couple days the electric company will come out to hook it up to their line so it should be really soon hopefully.

Having someone Around really stresses me out though. At least he won't be around for too long. I woke up today feeling really nausious and I don't have bulemia (sp?) but it seems like when I'm really stressed when I wake up I've been feeing like this. I don't know if it's part of my ed or not but it's worrying me. Sometimes I even end up getting sick it's not good.

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