Originally Posted by washedoutdreamer
I guess the hardest thing about it right now is that I did gain some weight over the summer so it doesn't feel like such a big deal right now. I know that's an excuse....but it feels like anyone I'd talk to at this point would just think me overreacting--because nothing's really happened yet.
Feeling like slipping into the ed is a huge deal. It does not matter that you gained weight. Its never right to listen to the ed.
And its not even about the weight gain. Its never about the weight when it comes to ed's. Though it really feels like. it is important to look what else is going on in your life since you need the ed to cope.
Maybe you feel you are under to much pressure?
I think alot has happend here.
You Feel bad about a weightgain so
You want to listen to the ed.
Considered how to hide it from your family.
Scared that your co-workers will notice. (And try to stop you?)
Just got a new job
And i dont think you really feel like anybody understands or listen to you.
This is alot to handle for you. It would be for anyone.
I think you need help.
You need to learn how to take your ed thoughts more seriously.
Cause if you dont they will take over you completely.
And you wont even be able to see it.
And you need someone to take you and your feelings seriously.
So you dont end up showing your unhappiness through weightloss.
When i read your post i get really really concerned about you cause thats exactly how an ed tricks you in. "Oh its not that bad, its not like it will spin completely out of control, it wont happend to me" sort of thing.
I thought like that once. "Its not that bad" "i am just overthinking this" "people dont seem to worry about me, so i shouldn't either.
"I could stand to loose some weight, afterall"
Now i live with daily pain. I got days where my intire body hurts so much that i cant do anything but lay in bed all day.
Instead of friends i now got doctors, nurses, socialworkers and a psychologist.
I can work 12 hours a week as a maximum. Three hours per day.
Two days in a row and then i need a rest day.
Beside that i am allowed a half hour walk a day.
And thats it.
And i want to do so much more. But its not even about being allowed or not cause i cant even do more than that. It drains me for all i got.
My energy level is so low that i am pretty much tied down in my house. My own home is becoming like a jail to me.
I could tell you so many things that the ed voice aint telling you.
But believe me, you will not end up feeling invincible.
You might feel that in the beginning but thats just the poison from the teeth of the ed. It numbs you out so it can do what it wants with you, without you being able to stop it.