I love the movie Pheobe In Wonderland...
There's a line that always sticks in my head though.
At one point Pheobe asks
Are you always supposed to feel hope?
It always gets me.
Because are we?
Sometimes when things are at there worst
I can't find it.
I long for it
And cry for it
And wish there were just a drop of it to comfort me
But I don't always feel hope.
I just watched an episode of 20/20
The one about Gabby Giffords.
It's a story of tragedy and recovery
And hope and optimism.
I cried and I smiled.
And in pieces of it...
In struggling and in pain
And in celebrating tiny steps...
I sometimes saw myself.
She has struggled and still struggles
But she has strength and hope.
I'm trying to figure it out.
Is it knowing that things are going to be okay?
Is it believing just that one day there's a possibility they can be?
I'm not sure.
And I don't know if we're always supposed to feel hope...
But watching that 20/20 episode gave me hope.
That people can overcome unbearable odds
And I can't say that I'll always know or feel hope
But right now...I can picture a day when I accept this.
When I sit across from my counselor and we start to figure it out
Where I finally overcome the denial and can start working toward the idea of recovery.
And it's like that montage in a movie with music playing over the dialogue
Where all this change is taking place.
And I can't say what happens after that montage or even what brings it about.
But I can tell you that in this moment.
In this minute right now...
I have hope.
Be Strong, Be Smart, Be Proud
Live Honorably and With Dignity
and Just Hold On....