First off, if anyone knows me in person/on Facebook; This stays here. It is not to be brought up in conversation.
I have an extensive history of disordered eating. It initially came up when I was under camhs at 16-17 or there abouts but I was skipping meals from around 14. I am 27 now, just for context.
Back in 2013, I got with my long term boyfriend, lost a significant amount of weight within x amount of months & gained myself an atypical anorexia diagnosis. From there I started bingeing & purging. My gag reflex gave up on me & then fell into bingeing followed by days of heavy restriction.
Fast forward a few years, I cannot get a handle on the bingeing & it is a fairly common occurrence that I’ll vomit from the sheer amount I’ve eaten.
I feel like ****. I am so ridiculously sluggish all the time. I need
to lose weight as we’re trying to conceive & I have a few medical conditions which already have the potential to make it difficult. I am legitimately x-lbs overweight which brings me to my latest woe...
My stupid brain is niggling at me. “You lose x in x months previously. Do it again. It’s not impossible” yet at the same time, I can’t stop myself from volleying food down my throat.
Is it worth even speaking to my gp? On one hand, I feel like I’m slowly losing whatever grip I had on it... on the other hand, I’ve got so much excess weight & the whole covid situation... it almost feels like I’m just being stupid...