My psychiatrist said something I don't know how to process
Let me start out by saying I have never had an uneffected friend. Everyone who I have ever gotten close to either had a mental illness, was abused, or was severely codependent. I was explaining to my psych that I don't understand why my friendships don't last long, which I was hoping he'd suggest something in my PTSD based behavior or bipolar that I could hopefully work on and fix.
My psychiatrist said,
"I wish I could clone you for every single one of my patients: ones with aspergers, borderline, abuse ; everything. You have absolutely no concept of how to talk, behave, or empathize with normal people. None. I'm amazed you have been able to keep a friend longer than one year, but then again everyone you meet seems to be very ill. You behave and react perfectly to all these people and their multitude of problems which would scare most people. You know exactly how to address these problems in a way that's good for them. You are everything a sick person needs, and then they get better and don't need you anymore."
I'm happy... I help I guess? I mean, all I want for my friends is happiness, but does that mean I was just a tool they dispose of?
My psych said I would never be capable of empathizing with a "normal" person because it is all I will ever know.
I'm glad I help people --- heck, i'm in school to become a teacher... but I'm terrfied of trying to make new friends now.