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Old 27-04-2012, 06:44 PM   #1
feeling like a failure...
BoundNoMore's Avatar
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: in my own little world...
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using the hospital as a "crutch"

I have been in and out of the hospital 3 times in the past few months just due to severe depression and anxiety (not even SI). And this last time I was told by my case worker that she felt like maybe I was "using the hospital as a crutch".... I'm not even sure what that really means, but it doesn't sound like something a professional should say. I didn't know what to say to her. I still don't know how I should take what she said. Does that mean I shouldn't reach out for help anymore? That's the way I kinda feel... it hurts and really scares me. What if I really do need the hospital but I have her voice in my head saying "no... you can't go. You'll be using a crutch. No! YOU CAN'T GO!"

As anyone experienced anything like this before or am I alone in this? :scared:

We're all in the same game;
Just different levels.
Dealing with the same hell;
Just different demons.

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Old 28-04-2012, 03:25 AM   #2
a mirror that reflects it
PassedExpectations's Avatar
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Upstate New York
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i think that Dash nailed that one :)

try to remember, professionals aren't there to tell you only things that you want to hear. they are there to help, which sometimes means saying things that can be difficult to hear.

this is my magical medicine cabinet. Left to right they contain: courage, hope, calmness, and strength.

The magical part: They NEVER run out, so borrow some any time you want.

PM me anytime, I love getting messages :)

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Old 28-04-2012, 11:59 AM   #3
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Join Date: Jan 2007

Dash said it really well =]

I have had similar things said to me in the past and at the time, it really hurt me and I think it does depend who says it and how they get that message across. One person put it to be very bluntly whilst another person put it to me in a completely different manner and the second was much more helpful because I was able to hear what they were saying without feeling criticized.

I think hospital can become a crutch. That doesn't mean to say you aren't doing your best, I think you are and you are using the skills and resources available to you at any given time. It is not your fault this has happened but it is important that your CPN has noticed this because it means you can both work together to prevent this from happening.

It doesn't mean that you won't be able to go to hospital if you really need it. It just might mean that there are times when you would be able to manage at home but if they or you take you out of that environment, you aren't able to learn how strong you are.
I do say that from experience. I have been stuck in a vicious cycle for many years now of going in & out of hospital - though often the professionals pushed for it. Eventually I began to feel that I couldn't cope at home in a crisis and it left me very vulnerable. Over the last 5 months I have managed to stay out of hospital and gone through some difficult times but it's been really empowering to know that I did get through it at home.

Sending you lots of love. x

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