I have a lot of scars on my arm from my cutting. I'm getting tired of wearing long sleeved shirts all the time; once I had to wear a black jacket at the zoo in a 100 degree weather, I wear long sleeved shirts swimming, I'm just tired of it. I don't feel like I should be ashamed. On another website a woman that burns herself said she wasn't going to be ashamed of her scars beacause they remind her of who she is and where she's been. What do you think?
Im going to move your thread to SI discussion as its more opinions not first aid advice your after.
take care
Kim
Ps no you shouldnt be ashamed. sturggling is not something to be ashamed of.
I don't show my scars, but I plan to one day when there are no fresh cuts. You don't need to be ashamed of your scars but it's your choice whether you cover them up or not. I know that feeling of being boiling hot but being unable to take off your jacket - it's horrible isn't it.
I would say that ultimately you shouldn't feel ashamed. The scars show that you were in some really bad places, but that doesn't mean you are a bad/scary/creepy person. And it shows that you found a way to survive, however maladaptive that is. I don't know if I would say "proud", but it's not something you should have to feel ashamed about. That being said, I would die if I had to show my upper arms (where my scars are). ^^ it's a work in progress. And you shouldn't have to be so completely miserable (I know how it feels to wear long-sleeves in the heat). If you aren't ashamed then major props! that's my goal someday
- Judge someone not by how they treat their equals but by how they treat their inferiors. -
- Light a man a fire, warm him for a day. Light a man on fire, warm him for the rest of his life. -
Warum schreist du nicht? Warum verschenkst du dich? Warum qualst du dich? Wenn der Regnet fellt weist du es.
You should NOT feel ashamed. Yes, cutting is a taboo, yes, people are afraid of it, yes, people don't understand it, but they helped make you who you are today, and one day, when you're better, you can proudly show them and say you survived.
you shouldn't feel ashamed of your scars at all. everyone does things they'd rather not have, SIers just have the inconvenience of these things leaving marks on us.
smokers aren't ashamed of their cough. same thing for scars.
i sometimes wear short sleeves now when theres nothing new and ive healed up. i agree with what others have said - your struggles are what make you who you are. if you want to wear short sleeves, thats up to you.
what ive done in the past is to start wearing short sleeves with people i was comfortable with first. or even something like a long sleeved top that the sleeves can roll up. that way, while you get used to it, if you feel uncomfortable at any time you can just roll the sleeves back down. very very rarely has it been anyone else whose made me uncomfortable/as if theyre staring. its normally when im a bit more on edge i feel like people can see, but that gets easier with time ive found.
i have to say that its nice to not be roasting all summer!
I've been SIing off and on for over five years now, and I'm finally becoming comfortable enough to just...not care anymore and to wear what I want. I did that for the first time today, actually. I didn't wear a sweatshirt because I didn't feel like it, and I went about my business in several stores around town today. It was liberating and exhilarating. It was so nice to not have to be so overly conscious of every movement I made or how hot my body was getting because of the warm temperatures. It was a relief.
My next goal is to be able to be like that around my friends and the people I see often (school, etc.).
Don't be ashamed of who you are. Don't let the comments and stares get to you. It's not worth getting worried over. Do what you want. :)
"It's fine to celebrate success but it is more important to heed the lessons of failure."
-Bill Gates
I don't feel like you should be ashamed. They're a part of you and they signify a fight you've been through (or are going through) and how far you've come. In some odd way I'm proud of my scars. They remind me I get through hell sometimes and still come out alive, if that makes sense...
I have scars and I got tired of hiding them....You shouldn't be ashamed of your scars. It's something that has happened and is a part of you, and when you learn not to be ashamed with it yourself it'll help you feel more comfortable wearing short sleeves etc.
'Coincidence...it's what the Universe does for...fun.'
The Doctor
Wow i'm so glad someone has posted this. It's something that i hadn't really thought about until a friend who i havent seen for 10 years noticed my scars and made me feel ashamed about them. I agree with everyone here, we shouldn't be ashamed, it shows that we had the strength to relieve ourselves for a few seconds/minutes/hours instead of taking our life and leaving behind miserable friends and family who would forever blame themselves that they "should've done something". Take off your sleaves and show the world that you are not ashamed of who you are or who you used to be xx
Guys are like slinkies...... it's always fun to watch them fall down the stairs
"They say time heals all wounds. I don't agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessons, but it is never gone." - Rose Kennedy
This is something I'm also struggling with right now. I will show my scars in front of my family and boyfriend..but am too ashamed to expose them any other time. My mom keeps telling me that I shouldn't hide them, they are part of who I am and I shouldn't be ashamed..but it is just so awkward when you are asked what happened..I know that they know...but I tell them I work with cats and baby tigers. I know they know that my arm isn't shredded to pieces from cats..I hope that one day I'll be able to show them with no shame, but for now it's something that I struggle with.
Personally, I don't think you should feel ashamed. At all. But that's easier said than done. *hugs*
I wanna stay inside all day
I want the world to go away
I don't think you should be ashamed. Like everyone else said, it's just a part of who your are. Everyone else has problems too, maybe they are just not so visible.
But what we say doesn't even matter that much, you know what you want to do. You've said it: "I don't feel like I should be ashamed." =)
And yeah, some people will stare, and some people will judge. But don't care about that, it's none of their business.
Though I have been kind of on-and-off with cutting and I was never able to show scars at school/friends/family. Hope to be as brave as you guys some day. =)
xx
Whether or not you "should" feel ashamed is pretty irrelevant, since it relies so heavily on what others think. My question to you is "Are you ashamed?" There's really no right or wrong answer to that, and your answer might depend on the people you're with and the situation. Once you know what you're really feeling (as opposed to what others expect), you can then dress accordingly.
For me personally, I'm not really ashamed of my body, scars included. I typically just wear what I want, and my scars aren't usually a factor in my daily life. However, there's one main exception: whenever I see my family, I do feel pretty ashamed of the scars on my legs. I do typically cover up much more when I know I'll be seeing them, mostly to avoid awkward questions I don't want to answer.
Who can attest that when they're at their best
Oh their worst is still crouching close behind
It's coming to peace with the darkness in me
That allows the true light to shine inside "Ups and Downs" ~ Kendall Payne
i started wearing short sleeves about a month ago. i dont think you should be ashamed of your scars, they show what youve been through and are a part of who you are. its good to stop being ashamed of how you cope. at the end of the day it doesnt matter what other people think, but how you think of yourself. *hugs*
You don't need to be ashamed, but be prepared for questions. By wearing short sleeves you are kinda signing up for that, and you need to be willing to deal with it.
And he brought me into a vast farmlands of our own midwest. And as we descended, cries of impending doom rose from the soil. One thousand, nay a million voices full of fear. And terror possesed me then. And I begged, "Angel of the Lord, what are these tortured screams?" And the angel said unto me, "These are the cries of the carrots, the cries of the carrots! -- Not a vegetarian
Like everyone else has said, you should not be ashamed and there part of you. Your here the scars prove and show that you have been through some tough times but they show your strenght. You got through that bad time(s) and that in itself is soemthing to be proud of
