First thing you need to know is that your physical problems may be causing your emotional ones. Lack of sleep and not eating just set you up for a big mood mess. Regardless of that, you NEED to tell someone. I don't know if you have a therapist/counselor/pyschiatrist/etc but that's who you need to talk to. If you don't have one, you can always go to A&E and explain what's happening. They will have an on-call psychiatrist talk to you, and get you a referral to an outside person, making the appointment much quicker than if you were to do it yourself. At the hospital, they may even give you something to help you sleep for one night. If you are seriously thinking you may be better off dead, then you NEED to get to A&E. No one wants to see you hurt yourself, or have you dead. Even though it may feel like it - it's NOT true!