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Old 19-01-2020, 09:06 PM   #1441
chinahorse
 
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Sorry I've been absent on here.

I've got a job interview tomorrow and I'm growing very anxious. I didnt apply. They messaged me after seeing my CV online. And I've already had a chat with the regional manager person which was ok. I, I just dont know if I can do it. I dont know if I want to do it even.

I feel so awfully anxious.



Given enough tea I could rule the world.


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Old 20-01-2020, 02:09 AM   #1442
Auror.
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Going to an interview only means going to an interview. It doesn't mean you have to take a job, or even do the job if they do make an offer and you don't feel able to. You can say no without giving a reason why. That said, if you also don't want to do the interview, that is your choice to make as well.

I hope you can get through tonight safely, and whatever you decide goes as smoothly as possible.



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This is happening, this is part of you.


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Old 20-01-2020, 09:48 AM   #1443
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What Auror said. I wish you good things, whatever you decide



with Christ I hang upon the cross

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Old 20-01-2020, 03:32 PM   #1444
one_step_closer
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How did you get on? How are you feeling now?





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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Old 20-01-2020, 04:07 PM   #1445
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I went. It was ok I suppose.

I recieved some lovely post which I'm trying to keep in mind as I feel very low.



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Old 20-01-2020, 06:41 PM   #1446
one_step_closer
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Well done.

Would you be interested in writing positive pen pal letters? I'm not sure if I tried to add you to the Fb group or not. They also send out positive quotes etc which can be good to put in a scrapbook to look back on.





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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Old 20-01-2020, 06:48 PM   #1447
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I'm not sure. I have no hobbies or interests and would be very boring to write to and send letters out.

I don't want to live. Everything hurts. I've had a headache for days. I dont and cant I dont.



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Old 20-01-2020, 06:59 PM   #1448
one_step_closer
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I think you could find some things in common with people. You could even just ask for positive post where you don't write letters you just send quotes etc.

Also, have you heard of the recovery shoebox project? You could ask to be sent one of them. They usually take quite a while to arrive but it can be a nice surprise to get something in the post.

I'm sorry you're in so much pain, that must be almost intolerable and I can understand being distressed and sick of it. Does anything help at all?





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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Old 20-01-2020, 09:07 PM   #1449
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People wouldn't like me. I'm useless. I'm only good at self destruction. Being alive hurts so much.



Given enough tea I could rule the world.


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Old 21-01-2020, 09:40 AM   #1450
one_step_closer
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Those things you believe about yourself aren't true, they are judgements by yourself but I know how easy it is to believe that other people would think the same of you. Being alive does hurt a lot of the time, I know. I'm sorry. Are you going to talk to your CPN today?





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Old 21-01-2020, 03:17 PM   #1451
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You're so kind to me. I dont deserve it.

I missed my CPNs call. Called back and shes in MDT.

I know Im being pathetic and staying in bed all day and I know its making me worse but I can't seem to drag myself out when theres no point. My life is so pointless. And I don't want to inflict my sadness on other people.



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Old 21-01-2020, 03:45 PM   #1452
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If you scheduled an outside activity every day, would you feel more purposeful or is this coming from the inside?



with Christ I hang upon the cross

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Old 21-01-2020, 03:52 PM   #1453
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From the inside I think. Its so hard to motivate myself to do anything. And I don't want to end up doing things just for the sake of doing things.



Given enough tea I could rule the world.


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Old 21-01-2020, 03:57 PM   #1454
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I do things to pass the time and stop anxiety ruining my day. I think it's ok to do things 'for the sake of it' if it stops you losing it just this moment. But it is often hard to find the motivation so I can understand that.



with Christ I hang upon the cross

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Old 21-01-2020, 04:34 PM   #1455
one_step_closer
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Lillie, you deserve so much kindness and I'm sorry that you can't see that or feel it. I do hope that will change. You don't sound pathetic at all, you sound low and feeling like things are pointless and hopeless. That's a hard place to be in but please try not to let it swallow you or things will likely just get worse. Will your CPN phone back? Can you try again if you need to? Are there any volunteering opportunities you might be interested in? I agree with Tamo that it's ok to do things just for the sake of doing them if they're going to help you get through and maybe distract you from things for a bit. I often feel like I'm wasting time but if I wasn't doing an activity I'd be really distressed so it does have a purpose. What would a purposeful activity be for you?





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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Old 21-01-2020, 06:36 PM   #1456
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I agree full out with Lindsay Lillie. You deserve alot of kindness, I'm sorry you can't see that, maybe listen to some music? I've found that it helps me sometimes.



need someone to talk to? PM me, I'll respond as soon as I can ❤

This day may be tough, but so are you! ❤

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Old 21-01-2020, 10:03 PM   #1457
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I cant keep going. Everything is pointless. Im so sad.



Given enough tea I could rule the world.


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Old 22-01-2020, 01:05 PM   #1458
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How was your night? Sending love.



with Christ I hang upon the cross

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Old 22-01-2020, 01:10 PM   #1459
one_step_closer
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*hugs if ok* I know the feeling of not being able to carry on but still continuing is a tough one. How are you today?





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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Old 24-01-2020, 01:39 PM   #1460
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I feel very distressed. I didnt get the job they asked me to apply for and contacted me to interview for. Feel so pointless. Worthless. Useless. I tried and failed and now I'm back stuck again. Life is pointless. I'm going nowhere and doing nothing.



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