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Old 08-01-2009, 09:59 AM   #1
Littlelostlamb
Be kind. Please.
 
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Graphic / Triggering - I am dying

Oh somebody please help me.

I can't go through life feeling this depressed anymore. I feel dead, suffocated and unable to breathe.

I just keep singing lines from that Smiths song: I haven't had a dream in a long time/ See the looks I've had would make a good man bad/ So please please please let me get what I want this time/ Lord knows it would be the first time

I feel bad because I care about my friends but I don't have the energy for them. I just either want to be laying on the sofa at home with my boy or asleep. I have no energy for anything.

Life just feels like an endless boring sea of nothing. Get up, work, go home, sleep. Repeat, repeat. Where's the joy?

I find joy in my fiance and my family, but they will die one day and then I'll be alone again.

I'm so afraid.

I want to have a child but I don't know that I'll be a good mum. I don't want to f*** up their life like my parents fucked up mine.

Last night I dreamt of suicide.

I don't want to die, I just want to feel happy.





Hold on.

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Old 08-01-2009, 10:16 AM   #2
-Shae-Lynn*
Laugh often. Dream big. Reach for the stars!!
 
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The future isn't a guareentie. Make the most out of today, out of thid very moment. You'll regret not taking the chance at being happy because you are afraid to be sad. The only reason we know we are happy is because we've been sad. They go hand in hand! The point is, do what maks you happy in this moment without fear for the next.
It's hard, but you can fight this and be yourslf again.
I'm sorry I'm not much use at the moment....



It's the children the world almost breaks that grow up to save it.
-Frank Warren


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Old 08-01-2009, 11:21 AM   #3
Littlelostlamb
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I can't make the most of every day. I'm depressed and weighed down.

All I know I definitely like doing is watching dvds at home, going out to the cinema and for meals. I am therefore a boring arsehole. I am a terrible person. I ruin people's lives.





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Old 08-01-2009, 11:28 AM   #4
*..life in pain..*
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you don't ruin peoples lives. see, there are things that you like doing, its not bad watching movies and going out.



My RYL family:
I-used-to-be-positive is my big sister razorxkissedxwrists is my mommy alyssa.star is my sister phoenixflames_forever is my cousin concreteangel, helpmydeath, xxbeckyxx and queer fringe are my little sisters bob--says--hi is my twin


pm me anytime


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Old 08-01-2009, 11:32 AM   #5
Louise
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hey, i am so sorry things are tough for you right now, your not a boring arsehole, your not a terrible person, why do you think you are. no one knows what the future hods, that's why we have to take each day as it comes. and you said yourself, you do not want to die, you just want to be happy. if you die, you would never no if you could be happy. what about the things you want to do, your dreams and goal out of life. you can do this. your not alone. my pm box is always open.

take care
xxx





“Never lose faith in yourself,
and never lose hope;
remember, even when this world throws its worst and then turns its back,
there is still always hope.”


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Old 08-01-2009, 01:46 PM   #6
Littlelostlamb
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I have ruined everything. I've got too many enemies in this area and I need to leave. I feel ashamed when I walk around town because they see me. Ex boyfriends who were abusive, cruel people from work, people I fell out with.... they're all here and I see them all the time. They must look at me and think what a fucking loser I am.

I've just been to the cupboard and got some blades out. I will make all this right by fucking myself up with them.





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Old 08-01-2009, 01:57 PM   #7
Littlelostlamb
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Nobody cares, I am just mental in their eyes. I want to change my name and run away. Now.

I want to gauge my eyes out and cut the skin off my face.





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Old 08-01-2009, 02:23 PM   #8
broken-soul
I am so in love with my gf
 
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look have u got someone to talk to?
i know what u mean by the whole same routine every single day i go through it.
You need to find a new out look on life like try being creative writing, drawing or u could simply go for a walk just try and find somethin to make you happy and you ever want to talk just PM me
take care
xxxx



Have you ever been touched so gently you had to cry?
{Its my life Im the one has to die when its my time so let me live it my way!}

{If anyone needs to talk im here to listen! }

{Why is society more comfortable with two men holding guns rather than holding hands?}

{How can you break something that is already broken?}
{We are all vampires!}

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Old 08-01-2009, 02:26 PM   #9
Littlelostlamb
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I see a psych every week but not til next Tues. I don't know that the hospital will help much if I ring them.





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Old 08-01-2009, 02:33 PM   #10
broken-soul
I am so in love with my gf
 
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well its always worth ringing just to find out
and i will try to be here for you as much as possible ok?
xxxx



Have you ever been touched so gently you had to cry?
{Its my life Im the one has to die when its my time so let me live it my way!}

{If anyone needs to talk im here to listen! }

{Why is society more comfortable with two men holding guns rather than holding hands?}

{How can you break something that is already broken?}
{We are all vampires!}

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Old 08-01-2009, 03:31 PM   #11
Littlelostlamb
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Thats very sweet of you. Waiting for a call back now. I have done a few cuts on my wrist but nothing major. Am starting to calm down a little.





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Old 08-01-2009, 03:37 PM   #12
broken-soul
I am so in love with my gf
 
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ok just try to keep calm and inform me wen u get a kl i will help u as much as possible



Have you ever been touched so gently you had to cry?
{Its my life Im the one has to die when its my time so let me live it my way!}

{If anyone needs to talk im here to listen! }

{Why is society more comfortable with two men holding guns rather than holding hands?}

{How can you break something that is already broken?}
{We are all vampires!}

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Old 08-01-2009, 03:38 PM   #13
Littlelostlamb
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They just called and advised me to take a small dose of my antipsychotic as it will calm my anxiety.





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Old 08-01-2009, 03:42 PM   #14
broken-soul
I am so in love with my gf
 
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ok then how are you feeling now?



Have you ever been touched so gently you had to cry?
{Its my life Im the one has to die when its my time so let me live it my way!}

{If anyone needs to talk im here to listen! }

{Why is society more comfortable with two men holding guns rather than holding hands?}

{How can you break something that is already broken?}
{We are all vampires!}

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Old 08-01-2009, 04:13 PM   #15
Littlelostlamb
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Stressed and sorry for myself. The cuts sting but they're not too bad. I've got that calm but upset feeling you get after self harm.





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Old 08-01-2009, 04:26 PM   #16
broken-soul
I am so in love with my gf
 
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ok u need to get unstressed < weired word
try playing a game or talkin to someone who makes u feel calm



Have you ever been touched so gently you had to cry?
{Its my life Im the one has to die when its my time so let me live it my way!}

{If anyone needs to talk im here to listen! }

{Why is society more comfortable with two men holding guns rather than holding hands?}

{How can you break something that is already broken?}
{We are all vampires!}

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Old 08-01-2009, 04:27 PM   #17
Littlelostlamb
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Will be with my fiance in an hour and hopefully we'll play some Xbox or watch Prison Break. Thanks for all your kindness, it means a lot.





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Old 08-01-2009, 04:33 PM   #18
broken-soul
I am so in love with my gf
 
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Thats ok sweetie u ever need me just pm me i dnt mind its nice to have someone to chat to
xxxx



Have you ever been touched so gently you had to cry?
{Its my life Im the one has to die when its my time so let me live it my way!}

{If anyone needs to talk im here to listen! }

{Why is society more comfortable with two men holding guns rather than holding hands?}

{How can you break something that is already broken?}
{We are all vampires!}

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Old 08-01-2009, 04:37 PM   #19
Littlelostlamb
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I'll pm you tomorrow hon. Thanks again. You've been brill. Going offlien now. Take good care of yourself xxx





Hold on.

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Old 08-01-2009, 04:43 PM   #20
broken-soul
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ok you 2 bye
xxxx



Have you ever been touched so gently you had to cry?
{Its my life Im the one has to die when its my time so let me live it my way!}

{If anyone needs to talk im here to listen! }

{Why is society more comfortable with two men holding guns rather than holding hands?}

{How can you break something that is already broken?}
{We are all vampires!}

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