My Friend is a bit Crude

[TFaarrgon]

So, I have this friend of mine, you can say he is not the most pleasant to talk to when the smallest thing goes wrong. You see, he's been abused since childhood and hasn't developed a strong foundation of communication skills because if it. He hasn't developed a sense of empathy very well and when very specific situations happen, he lashes out rather harshly and makes damn well sure you remember it even if it is something minor. I wanted to share some things that bother me about his behavior and I wanna know if my thinking is justified. But see, I want to teach him how this stuff is bad and I think it's just his environment he's in.

1) We often play games together and when I make a mistake in a video game, he uses harsh labels in a vicious tone, but when he makes a mistake, he's fine and laughs it off like most people would.

2) When I don't hear something he says, he either points out that I'm not listening (which I am I just want clarification on things) or he just says "Nevermind" in a tone that makes you think he's pouting about it.

3) He's often a closed book, never accepting any input aside from his own except for when it's something he genuinely has no idea what it is.

When he's in a good mood, he's fun which is one of the reasons why I still hang out with him, but sometimes it can be very hurtful when he shows his dark side. He almost has a sort of Bipolar thing with his emotions, they can change in the blink of an eye.

[Tautology]

This sounds a lot like a friend I had, down to the lashing out when playing games. He was very draining in extended doses, but a lot of fun to be around when things were going well.

If you want suggestions:

1) I'd suggest telling him, point blank, "Hey, it's not fun playing with you when you're angry about these mistakes. If you want to give me some feedback please do and explain what I can do better. Otherwise this is making me not want to play with you anymore."

2) When he tells you you are not listening, parrot back some of the things he's said. "I am listening. You just told me x, y, and z. I am confused about a, b, and c, and wanted some clarification."

3) Not much you can do about these things other than to make sure that if he trusts you with something, you don't betray that trust. If he chooses to open up to you, and take suggestions, great! If not, it is what it is.

[millwall]

If he expresses remorse for his lashings then that shows potential. If he gets angry at being questioned for his ways then that's a bad sign.