Triggering (Sexual Abuse) - phantoms???..do you know what i mean ?

*paige* · 19-12-2008, 09:42 PM

this is my first post in this section of the forum ....just recently i posted my letter of closure i think it may be in the wrong spot its in the creativity forum ..tottal mistake on my part ....really hard for me to do that i never realized how bad it feels to think about that untill i wrote it out ...but thats not why im posting here today ..i have somthing happening to my body ..its very odd and i havent met anyone who can relate
like i said i just met myself face to face about this whole abuse business i feel like im stirring up many emotions and they are all very confusing i dont excacly know how to put this but i have phantoms..i cant see them but they are there touching me in places very sensitive to me and ..its interfearing with my everyday life ..for instance i was in class this morning and i feel these hands slowly make their way across my thigh down to my private area i feel the pain of the abuse not mental but the physical pain .i started squirming in class and everyone is looking at me like im a disturbance..they dont know i am being raped all over again in the chair ..head down i persevere..clench my legs together and pray to god to make it stop ..i cried all my peers think im insane i cant tell them whats wrong beacause frankly i think its none of their business..but is there any way i can make this stop..
its very scary when it happens.. i also hear his whispers i can even smell his breath everything is so real aside from the regular flashbacks this is some kind of new thing thats going on with me ..and i am very frightened any suggestions??? is there meds i can take to stop this ..is there anything i can do or do i just have to deal with it..talking to someof my friends they know somthing is bothering me they see me feeling myself to make sure nothing is there i sound so stupid i know..pls i need help

shadow-light · 19-12-2008, 10:30 PM

I think this is a form of flashback... I've expiriance very similar in the past and this is the conclusion I cam to...
when it's happened to me (once I decided they were maybe flashback type things) I've used the same sorts of grounding techniques that are used for "regular" flashbacks, and they seem to work most of the time...

I do wish I could help more... but just wanted to let you know that I've expirianced this too right down to the whispering, you're not going mad.

*paige* · 20-12-2008, 12:07 AM

ive been trying the same tech ...this is different ive decided to drop my classes so i can stay home and deal with this ...instead of being laguhed at for the way i must appear to everyone else at school ....i feel comfort in the fact that sombody at least knows what im trying to exsplain ...english is my second language ..german is my first ..i find it hard to express my self somtimes i have to use translating programs ...maybe all i need are more meds more this more that

ghosts in the machine · 20-12-2008, 01:31 AM

I get this too, I'm sorry you have to go through it.
I've found that my flashbacks are reducing in frequency as I progress through counselling - do you have a therapist/counsellor you could discuss this with?

And as shadow-light said; the usual techniques for flashbacks can sometimes work with these ones too.

P.S. your English is really good for a second language =)

judey · 20-12-2008, 11:28 PM

this sounds really frightening and horrible for you and i'm sorry your having to go through this. you should really talk to a doctor or psychologist about it, they will be able to offer you more help and support. and what the others have said about grounding should help too. feel free to pm me any time, take care xx

Golden_child · 21-12-2008, 01:31 AM

I think I know what you're talking about. I get those at night. *hugs*

*paige* · 24-12-2008, 05:00 AM

thank u ...tehy are getting worse im thinking about going to the hospital for a week or soo..i dunno i will let u allknow

foxfly · 25-12-2008, 08:59 PM

I get them. They're horrible. I also see men, shadowy figures, who do these things to me.

I'm not sure how to stop them. I try to concentrate on the other physical things around me, gripping something in my hands can really help.

shadow-light · 27-12-2008, 03:17 AM

i carry a peice of paper with me with "it's all in the past the ghosts are not real" written on it.. it sometimes helps... kind of reminds you that there isn;t really anything to be scared of... or something...

*paige* · 27-12-2008, 09:55 PM

thanks guys ...nothings working everything is so ....god ..im hopeless right now..you just have to read my post i dont feel like going through all of this again ..um thanks guys for the tips ...love u all ..

paige

OhSoAvalanche · 28-12-2008, 03:18 AM

after my (attempted) rape i seemed fine. for months. never cried. but like on day i started feeling like he was behind me. about to push me back into a wall. i wouldnt let anybody hug me or come close. i think its normal. and its your rape. its yours to tell who you want to tell. so if you decide they should know. tell them. if not who cares what they think. they dont know the truth so all they can do is assume you're weird.