Happy Father's day Dad, I miss you so terribly, I know it's been almost 18 years but I still miss you, I cried so much today, for you, sobbing into my partner's chest, when will I stop missing you?
Mom and Dad.. oh how i wish you guys were still here...It's not fair you know, this year at the country club was the annual father daughter dance.. and yoou know what you werent there for me. You couldnt hold me in your arms like we used to i didnt get to dance on your feet because we all know i cant dance and mom. oh mom i miss you so much.. i know we fought everyday but you didnt have to leave us.. it just didnt have to happen and i know you are watching but i just miss you and want you to come home like nothing ever happened
I am not doing it for myself, I am doing it for them!
Love and miss them like crazy
Nan, i miss you. I did well on my last assignment and got 70%. I normally would tell you my result and you would be so proud but now you're gone. I hope you are happy in heaven with the rest of the family. I will try to remain strong and not do anything to harm myself but its so hard. I want to join you, but i dont want to leave my family here on earth, itd be too hard on them. I love you so much. Please come back. My mum missed you on her birthday. I know you were there in spirit though. I miss your phone calls. No-one else rings me. I know you're free from pain now and thats what im happy about. God bless you nan xx
I want to come visit you today and I hope that you would feel it's okay.
My wish is that one day you will be proud of me, of the person I have become and what I have achieved. You have saved my life on numerous accounts and I honestly want to show you it was a life worth saving.
I wish I could talk to you face to face and ask you directly if you're ashamed of me. I am so deeply sorry that I put myself in a vulnerable situation and that I tried to end my life that night. The thing I am slowly learning is that the rape was not my fault. I had no control over his actions and the decisions he made that night. I was a vulnerable person, that felt desperate and alone and he took advantage of the situation.
I will look in the mirror and chant it over and over again until I can finally accept that it was not my fault. I have a request of you Nan, please forgive me for my poor decisions and provide me with some of that incredible strength you had to get me through this barrier and move forward with the life you felt so strongly I deserved to keep.
I love you with all my heart and I miss you more than words can say.
I hope you are at peace.
Sleep tight.
Let us go then you and I, when the evening is spread out against the sky, like a patient etherized upon a table
- T.S. Elliot
I don't know why I'm writing to you on here, I usually write it in my other thread but I haven't for a while!
I had a dream about you last night mummy. It was so horrible at the time, when I was actually dreaming and didn't know it was a dream. You were dying in the dream, it was your last days and hours, and you were talking to all of us, saying our goodbyes I suppose. It was so, so, so horrible mummy, but I woke up and I wished so badly that it was real because I just wanted you to have been alive again. I heard your voice in my dream, and I just wanted to keep on hearing your voice, I just wanted to see you alive and moving and just my mummy.
I love you so much mummy, and I hope so much that you're not in pain anymore. I hope so much that you're not because I just want to protect you and look after you.
wow its been 7 years, and nans i miss you both so much :( i cant even put it into words, but i thought it would get easier. anyway im so glad your not in pain anymore, and not suffering, and in a better place i hope. i will never forget you
uncle d, i never knew you really well, but my dad misses you a lot, and i still remember when i was little and you used to sleep round ours and in the mornings youd threaten to eat me, i used to be terrified of you haha, seems so silly now, and of course the maisy books you used to hate but i still made you read
mr j - well what can i say, you were a very inspirational guy and i will never forget you
Mum I miss you so much I can't believe it's almost been 4 years since you left us. I love you so much and it hurts to know I'll never see your face or have a huggle again :( sleep tight mum and I truly hope you've found peace xxxxxx
Wine is to be drunk, I am drunk, therefore I am wine?
Grandad, I never have been good with words, so I don't really know what to say. I really miss you. It's been 6 years since you passed and it still feels like I only found out yesterday. You were really proud of me and Beth and you were the nicest man I have ever met. That's what makes it harder. You will always live on in my heart, you have had such a brilliant influence on my life, without you I don't know what I'd be doing right now. I promise I'll try and continue making you proud and I will help mum as much as I can, just like you did. The world would be perfect if everybody was as kind as you, for this reason I'm going to try my hardest to be as awesome as you were. R.I.P and I don't remember ever saying this to you when you were alive but I'm sure you knew anyway that I love you.
Do not wish to be anything but what you are, and try to be that perfectly <3
I miss you so so much. I have no idea how I will get through my shift at work tomorrow, even if it is only a 3 hour shift. My dad wants me to go to work, he says I will be fine as it will keep me busy, which is will.But I was crying, from 8pm til midnight last night, then at 2am, then at 6:30am when I was leaving for the stables. I burst into tears while at the stables and one of the girls hugged me . Then when we were at your house.... And I have been crying at least an hour now.
I just want you back. I miss you so so much. You were happy and healthy, I cant deal with the shock of losing you. You have been in my life since I was born... I only spoke to you on last friday, I told you to take care and you told me ' and you too' I know you will be happy now , your with A... But it doesnt stop the pain.
Sadly I didn't say this enough but i love you soo soo much!!!
You got my sponsers for Race For Life. When I told you I might not do it because the girl who asked me to do it with her found out she was working that full weekend.. When I told you you sounded a little angry, as you had got me sponsers. The race is now in 2 days time. I am no wway fit enough to run the full race. I was speaking to another girl at the stables and we were talking about it. I have had a change of heart. I think I am going to do the race for you. You would have wanted me to do it. Whether I walk it or jog it. I will do it for you
Mummy,
its going to be 10 years since you have departed me :(. I jsut want you to be back with me and i just want to be with you and im sorry. I know you said be strong but how can I be strong when things are so hard? You left me to fend for myself when i was 9 mum. i had no one really and now im completely alone. I keep everyone at arms length in case they die. BUT I MISS YOU! i need you once more mum...
Ballerina123 - My lovely superstar
Call me R -
The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time - Abraham Lincoln
I know you aren't gone yet, but it looks like that moment isn't far away. I care, I hope you peacefully, I don't blame you for what he did and I hope you never found out. I remember you were always lovely to me, the thoughtful gifts and attention you gave us. I'm sad. And I sort of wish we could be there for them, despite everything. RIP.
'Never forget what you are. The rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor, and it can never be used to hurt you.'
['There is only one thing we say to death. Not today'.']
'We are each our own devil, and we make this world our hell.’ – Oscar Wilde
‘It’s hard to dance with the devil on your back.’ Sydney Carter
I miss you, I still can't quite belief you gone. I know you wern't treated well in your last few months and I'm sorry I wish I had done something to make things better for you. But I dunno well I guess I hope your happier now and i know I never said it but I love you and you were a big part of my life especially my childhood.
If u want the Rainbow,u gotta put up with the Rain
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: London
I am currently:
I'd do anything to bring you back. Anything. But nothing is going to is it. Yet I cant get used to life without you. I dont want too get used to it. I want my Dad back. Im getting better at the cars, and the computers, and the family...but I want you to be here with us. I just miss talking to you so much. I wish we could just talk. I cannot accept the fact Im never going to talk to you again. A year and a half is too long already. I just want my Dad back.
'Where did I go wrong
My life's a bargain basement, all the good shits gone
Happy Birthday Granda, it would have been your 76th. It's been 4years now but it still feels as raw as yesterday. I remember when you used to take me to church every Sunday, just me and you, and then we would go to feed the ducks and sit on our tree. I was only little but I remember. You called me Noddy, your pet name for me, taught me how to do so many things, and you always made me smile. Even as you got older and dementia started to set in, you couldn't remember any of us, but you still had your sense of humour. You never got to meet your great-granddaughter but I am going to make sure that she knows everything about you. She's 5months old now, and she's already growing up fast, I wish you were here to see it.
I'm sorry I haven't been to visit you in while but I think about you everyday and will miss you always,
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
It's only in the black of night you see the stars, and those stars will lead you home.
You would be so proud of me, and you would have adored S, I know you would have. Happy birthday, wonderful uncle, nearly 7 years doesn't make me miss you any less. I love you. Shine for me tonight, if you can; as ever, I'll be watching.
Now I'll play your ghost as my ace, whenever I'm led astray.
But I am actually good, can't help it if we're tilted.
I'm in my right place, don't be a downer.
I miss you always and forever big bro. I wish you were still here. You'd be amazed at how much I've grown. I'm not little Ami anymore. Miss you Dan. Love you forever and a day <3
I always feel awkward and I don't know what to say to you. We were all so messed up.
But it would be pretty amazing just to talk for a bit, you know. If you could just be here for an afternoon and we could get a coffee (I drink that now) and I could try and begin to explain to you how much things have changed (I am better now). Just that, and I would be eternally grateful.
I love you; I always did.
Take care of yourself, mum. I hate that it feels weird to say that now. It's been a long time huh :(
![[Luna]'s Avatar](image.php?s=fe99612071c74d6ece307cb7db1020d6&u=32920&dateline=1692390196)
