Do not be dismayed by the brokenness of the world. All things can be mended. Not with time, as they say, but with intention. So go. Love intentionally, extravagantly, unconditionally. The broken world awaits in darkness for the light that is you.
Nothing that even closely resembling a human being now. Just empty blank eyes and no expressions. Ive never felt this low and without hope that I can recall. I hate that all I think about now is suicide because its wasted pointless energy. Even when I catch myself I come up the the wrong conclusion. I remind myself: either 'put up, or shut up'. How sick is that?!?! Its too late for me and I gasp at the idea of continuing existing like this for years until my time is up naturally. I hate life everyday and I'm so VERY tired and just want it over! Its just too late and was too late years and years ago I just didn't want to face it then. Now, its clear as a bell. Nobody would even know or care so I don't have to worry about that minor detail. I'm not loved or needed. Its alright though to be honest, I would want friends now, I don't like or trust people. I guess looking back there may have been a place where *I should've turned right instead of left*...but its doesn't matter anyway, nowhere to turn now. I'm far too damaged to ever recover enough to even make something really small of myself and find a way to feel content with something I accomplished. There just is no hope. Sometimes I wonder if I just blurted out my entire story would anybody actually give a **** anyway, I don't think so, so I don't bother to tell anybody anymore.
I think I just want out quietly at this point would be best.