Look I don't usually wander over to the boards at all, apart from the ranting page, and still would like to remain anonymous, but I'm absolutely ****ing terrified right now. I've been purging for almost 2 years heavily and tonight in the first time, I am actually really really terrified. I didn't know what it was at first until I checked online and asked my friend who is a whiz at biology and I'm starting to purge stomach lining. I am so scared, I've called NHS Direct, I feel so guilty cause I'm meant to be getting better, and now this begins. Please no-one hate me, I'm so sorry to be so graphic.
Last edited by unknown63 : 12-09-2010 at 10:51 PM.
What does what you purged look like? Also, I know this is going to be really hard but you need to stop purging if this is the case as if it is that then purging could cause SERIOUS damage ending up with a whole in your stomach wall which is EXTREMELY dangerous and can be life-threatening. When you purge does anything that looks like coffee granules come up? Have you got any pain running down your chest or under the last few ribs/ slightly below that?
If you are worried that you've purged up part of your stomach wall then if you've got the thing then (I know it sounds disgusting) but putting it in a sealable bag/ pot and taking it to A&E would be great or just going to A&E and describing it. Hopefully if they haven't got back to you already the NHS Direct nurses should do soon but it could as well be something that you've eaten as food does change considerably how it looks as it's being digested.
It could be but still hard to say without seeing it. Really I would say it's suspicious so you really do have to be careful. Get checked out, really try not to purge and don't take any anti-inflammatories such as Ibuprofen/ Naproxen/ Aspirin/ Diclofenac which can now all be bought over the counter in one forumlation or another.
Alright. So I tried really hard up until yesterday when I couldn't take it anymore and today purged like crazy as normal. Tonight Big bits of it came up in the toilet. Huge parts of it, there was no food at all, just skin and acid. It was disgusting. There was no blood, but pink lumps were coming up. Maybe that was food. But I have not eaten anything pink tonight or today or yesterday. I'm seeing my therapist tomorrow. I don't know what to do, I'm trying so hard. I still feel like I'm going to gain weight.
You NEED to go and get checked out by a doctor. Your therapist, unless they are a psychiatrist who's also doing therapy with you, will have little to know medical experience/ knowledge in most cases BUT you do need to tell them about how you're feeling in terms of your weight and needing to purge so hopefully they can help. You can also contact the supporters on Live Help/ support@recoveryourlife.com but that is in addition to talking to your therapist, not instead of.
Like I say, it's hard to say, it may be food, as it does change colour and texture when in your stomach as the acid/ enzymes break it down, but it also may not be and as this is occurring more and more then you need to take it seriously and get checked out as well as trying not to purge as if you do and you are bringing up some of the lining and damage it all the way through it is serious as in life-threatingly and at very least needing emergency surgery and being in hospital for quite a long time serious. The fact you still have mentioned no pain or anything about bringing up blood or anything that appears like coffee granules is encouraging but still, this need to be taken REALLY seriously and if you do purge again and bring up bits of this I suggest you go to A&E, the same as if you start vomitting blood, either bright red (if more than just a very tiny bit) or that resembles coffee granules and they can look into it further and put you on treatment if they feel this is the problem and that you need it.
You won't gain weight from not purging for a while but you are likely to feel much healthier for it which is a really positive thing even if mentally it is hard whichit inevitably will be extremely difficult but I would strongly suggest that you don't.
Go to the doctor. There isn't much more anyone can say, especially because you already seem pretty sure of what it is that's coming up, and it's dangerous.
I'll be going to the doctor as soon as possible, couldn't go today had to see therapist, will try to get an appointment tomorrow, my stomach is really really aching, really hurts.
Look, if what you're saying is really true and it is your stomach lining then you can't put it off. Doctors are available 24hrs a day, 7 days a week if you need them. You can ring your normal doctors at night and they will give you info on how to get in touch with an out of hours doctor. Or you could go to A&E.
This is serious if what you are purging up is stomach/ oesophageal lining could lead to devastating consequences, one being death. Now the sooner you get it looked at the sooner you can see what is going wrong and get help but before that we can give you no more help.
I REALLY would strongly advise you to go and see a doctor TONIGHT or at very least phone your doctors up first thing in the morning and ask them for an urgent appointment or, if they've not got any left, for a doctor to ring you. I'm not over-reacting, this is serious, very serious if you are purging up this which is impossible for us to know for definate over the net as stomach contents change, and so you need to get checked out and not just because of that but also for the amount you are purging which is going to cause you serious problems and probably already has done as well as this.
At this point, seeing a doctor should come before seeing your therapist while you're able to get places because therapy's not going to do anything if you are too sick to concentrate on it or anything.
None of it came up last night, if that's any reassurance. Sorry to be such a pain, I can't ring my doctors until 2. I'll call them today in college. Promise. I'll bring a bit of it with me. I'm not trying to be horrible to anyone here, I just wanted to clarify that. Stomach isn't hurting today. I think it's just when I purge. :|
I would go to the hospital sooner rather than later. Don't go to collage your health is more important.
I want to kiss the bottom of the ocean before I burst through its surface into the sunlight, otherwise I will always be wondering about what was left unseen at the bottom
i'm tired of chasing my dreams. i'm just gonna ask where they're going, and hook up with them later.
I agree with everyone else. YOU NEED TO GET MEDICAL HELP AND NOW. That medical help is not us, this is a doctor; whether it be at a hospital or your GP but that is what you need and you've been putting it off for by my counting 5days now.
Not purging up potential your stomach/ oesophageal wall does not mean everything is fine. The way I look at it is now you may have holes in it and the only thing between these holes in your protective stomach wall and the outside is a thin sheet. The protection those areas will get from the acid that you will produce regardless is minimal and all the time it could be slowly eating at that. And there's not just that, theres the purging side of things that leads to an extreme electrolyte imbalance. That in itself needs to be looked at, checked, make sure it's not affecting your organs, your heart.
I'm being serious. There is NOTHING else an online community can do to help you with these aspects. We can give you support but that won't help this. You NEED to take this seriously. It needs to be put on top of everything else in your life; if that means missing going to college/ meeting up with friends/ seeing your therapist then it means that; they don't need to know why, just say you're unwell, there's nothing wrong with that; it is the truth afterall because the reality is you ARE.
I may sound harsh, others may do but you know what, we've given you advice, you've given excuses whether you've done it consciously or sub-consciously. Your thread title says the word "URGENT" in it; that's how you were feeling at the time, that's how I still think you should be feeling now and in my view urgent means it needs to be looked at before other things, needs to be taken care of before other things, other things are sacrificed to get it sorted. You say in other threads that you're ill, you're dying, that you need help, yet, you're not making steps to get this.
I'm wondering what you want from us as a first aid team as there is nothing else we can do; another FAA can say that to you if you want. Nothing else the whole community that is RYL can do. We can't physically force you or get in touch with others that can. It's not just me that's said to get help either; 6 other people posting on this thread have said that; that's EVERYONE else that's posted; all of whom have their own issues, all of whom may be worried about you to some extent.
I've seen cases that have been left grumbling. I've seen the aftermath of ruptures in stomach walls. Problems don't just vanish if you ignore them. People hope they do but if that were the case then there'd be no need for doctors/ nurses/ hospitals. At the end of the day we're here to advise, you're the only one who can physically go and get help unless they find you in a state where you need an ambulance and blue flashing lights; do you want people to see you that way? Worry about you?
You're at college. By that stage you need to take responsibility for yourself and that means your health so I'd take that advice on board.
Animad, I seriously appreciate your response on this. But the soonest I can see the doctor is Friday the 24th at 5:10PM, that is the absolute soonest. I can't go any sooner, than that. Yes okay, college and therapy does become before this right now. I feel like your attacking me here. It's not your decision. I'm trying my best to go to my doctor, I don't really know what else to say. Therapy does most definitely become before hand, because finally I am admitting my feelings and past situations, and I am gradually learning how to stop purging as much. This isn't as easy as your making it out to be. I only write on my rant thread, to vent.
Right now I feel as if that's all I need. I haven't asked for any form of emotional support from others here on RYL. I do know you are all trying to help me, and I appreciate it. But this isn't as easy as everyone else is making it out to be! I am absolutely terrified of eating normally, I can not explain this fear. I am working on it. It's better than it was. Far better than it was. The only person I am going to mainly for emotional support right now is my therapist. I can't get an appointment sooner, I rang today at 2:30 the only time available, and there was still no appointments left.
So look there is the appointment not this Friday but the one after. I doubt very much I will be dead by then. But this is my decision to recover. Not anyone else's. I accept full responsibility for my actions.
Did you tell your therapist about this? If so, did she see how urgent this could possibly be?
No one is attacking you.. this is a very serious situation and you asked the FAAs for advice. They have told you you need to be seen immediately.. there is nothing any of us can do if you won't go, but this is really not something that can wait for 10 days.. I hope you can go to A&E or something before then..
You have my best wishes in your therapy. I only hope you get seen by a doctor before irreparable damage is done..
