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Old 26-01-2013, 10:56 PM   #1
April_xx
 
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I'm exhausted.

Hi,

I haven't been around much lately, and not sure if people remember me; I hope it's okay to post.

To cut a long story short, I was diagnosed with Anorexia when I was 13, i'm now 22 and still suffering. I've had multiple operations over the last year; i'm absolutely exhausted. I've been with a new Eating Disorder team for over a year now.

I'm thinking about discharging myself. Is it normal to feel like this when things are really difficult? I just want to hide away from them, although I worry they will really worry if I discharge myself/not turn up.

I'm too exhausted; i'm tired of the fight; tired of the psychological fight along with the other health complications.

Due to chornic pain, i've cut out wheat, dairy, caffeine, alcohol, sugar from my diet; this has lead to the ED behaviours becoming more and more severe.

I just don't know I can fight this; I feel i've lost my fight.

Thank you for reading,

x

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Old 27-01-2013, 12:53 AM   #2
makedamnsure
 
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I think it's absolutely normal to want to hide away from these feelings and maybe not really engage with the teams trying to help and stuff. Because let's face it, recovery is hard!!! And it involves facing up to some really difficult feelings and changing some very ingrained habits and behaviours. Which all seems totally scary and its so much easier to hide away.

I think that perhaps what you need to think about it what hiding away will achieve. Like you say it's likely to worry your teams, your mental and physical health is not going to get better and will likely get worse, and you may end up hospitalised.

Sometimes I think it's important to recognise that the easy option, often isn't the right one. I appreciated you feel exhausted, I appreciate you feel like giving up, but no-one said recovery was supposed to be easy, but it will be worth it! I don't know what it will take for you to get your fight back, but I do believe its in you somewhere, otherwise you wouldn't still be here, so the fighting spirit is still there, you just need to rediscover and reawaken it.

Good luck



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Old 27-01-2013, 02:02 PM   #3
rachaellostinlife
 
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You need to ask yourself what you want more ? Your eating disorder or your health and happiness ? Because as long as you have an ED you will be unhappy xx

life is a journey and we all need to live it

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Old 01-02-2013, 07:24 PM   #4
Uncoming StormCrow
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Hi,

I know the situation of dealing with ED for multiple years. Myself I am fighting an on-and-off battle every day still to this very day.

Do not take support for discharging yourself from these words, but it is quite normal to feel like this when things get difficult. When you are in a team, you have to face the problem you are dealing with, which can be indeed pose a great challenge.

However, do not hide away from them. Although I can only speak from personal experience, running is never the solution. Eventually your ED will catch up and you will be too weak to fight against it. Try to get the others to stand by you every moment that you need them, and try to never ever give in. I believe in you, if you have been fighting for 9 years you must posess an immensly strong spirit to still be capable of going on.

My 2 cents? Don't hide away, keep going on and believe that one day your life will become better. Until then: keep fighting for a better tomorrow. You can always contact me if you need someone to talk to.
*hug*



"I'm just... trying to take care of things. I'm the caretaker."
My lock is my past. My key is the present. My freedom the future.

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