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Old 04-08-2012, 12:42 AM   #1
Lost But Never Found 15
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Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Derbyshire
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Not missed crying in my bed late at night one little bit!

I thought I was ok. But my seems to be saying completely different things... Im NOT ok anymore :/ I don't know whats wrong with me, I just am feeling so, so... I dont even know!:( I just want it to end now, I'm bored of it all being a constant cloud over my head, I dont want to sel harm, but I feel it's my only option, and it's so annoying cause the other day I threw all long blades away cause I finally felt ok, but now I'm ending up trying to find anything I can to cut. What is wrong with me? Why can't I just be okay?:'( x

Last edited by Lost But Never Found 15 : 04-08-2012 at 12:45 AM. Reason: I can't spell...

Someone once asked me, 'Why do you always insist on taking the hard road?' I replied, 'Why do you assume I see two roads?'
Take it from someone who's fallen... it's a long way down.

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Old 04-08-2012, 02:12 AM   #2
a mirror that reflects it
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Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Upstate New York
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feelings don't last forever, no matter how horrible they are in the moment. you felt good yesterday when you threw away the blades, right? well, i'll be that before that at some point you probably felt fairly similar to how you are now. but that feeling passed, since you ended up feeling hopeful and good. it will pass this time too. and it may come back again, but over time you'll end up with more and more of the good feelings and less of these horrible bad times.

it is pretty late for you now, can you try to get some sleep? i'm not saying this in a "i'm brushing you off" way. i just find that if i'm struggling at night, my best bet is to get to sleep and i'll feel better in the morning.

this is my magical medicine cabinet. Left to right they contain: courage, hope, calmness, and strength.

The magical part: They NEVER run out, so borrow some any time you want.

PM me anytime, I love getting messages :)

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Old 05-08-2012, 07:14 PM   #3
Never knowing...a helping hand or hell to pay?
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Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: UK
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That sounds really difficult, I hope you're maybe feeling a little better now and are managing to cope without the self harm. It's never the only answer, even when it feels that way, promise :)

Well done on throwing out your blades, I appreciate that can be a huge step.

You are not 'abnormal' I promise you that, just looking at the sheer number of RYLers should tell you that, you just happen to cope in a way which is not constructive, it's just about replacing that coping strategy with healthier ones, difficult as that may sound right now.

'Never forget what you are. The rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor, and it can never be used to hurt you.'

[''There is only one thing we say to death. Not today'.']

'You don't always move the way you'd like to, but don't let the ground drag you around
And these old wings, they've been a long time, been a long time coming, these old wings.'

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