"I know you're sad, so I won't tell you to have a good day. Instead, I advise you to simply have a day.
Stay alive, feed yourself well, wear comfortable clothes, and don't give up on yourself just yet.
It'll get better. Until then, have a day."
When we lose twenty pounds... we may be losing the twenty best pounds we have! We may be losing the pounds that contain our genius, our humanity, our love and honesty. ~Woody Allen
Is a chocolate muffin loving glitter ball
Cammy, How are you? Hope the tidying was successful. I too hate tidying, which sucks really because then it all builds up and makes everything 100x harder.
Life can be beautiful if you let it.
Step back, breathe and take it in
I'm sorry to barge in when I've been lousy replying lately. I could really use a hug. I'm struffling to really keep control of myself at the minute. Everything ust seems.. Overwhelming? Idk.
*cuddles tight* You have nothing to apologize for love, I'm sorry everything is so difficult just now. Wouild it help to talk more about it? Also I realised we said do Skype & cooking today but I kind of accidentally fell asleep. I'm sorry :S I am here though, always, so please please just poke me if you want to talk or anything. Sending you so much love <3
"I know you're sad, so I won't tell you to have a good day. Instead, I advise you to simply have a day.
Stay alive, feed yourself well, wear comfortable clothes, and don't give up on yourself just yet.
It'll get better. Until then, have a day."
No worries I was home late. We can do the cooking skype tomorrow at about 7 ish?
Thank you love. I'm sorry. I don't really know what to say I just feel out of control. My thoughts, the binging, but mostly the irrational anger. I'm just so damn angry all the time. I know some of it is just a build up of frustration with myself for the eating and weight and all of that is just a distraction from flashbacks and general anxiety. But I just can't seem to snap myself out of it. *sigh*. I just I don't know. Part of me wants to scream and smash my face in or be knocked out and part of me wants to curl up and cry. Instead I'm just bubbling and everything is building. I seem to be incapable of expressing it too. I'm doing a pretty good job right this moment but that's not really productive because I'm rambling at 1:05 am after binging, semi screaming, beating up an already dead DVD player and generally just reaching breaking point. Oh Lordy. I really am sorry for the ramble. I am so sorry.
Please don't be sorry lovely, we're here for you and want to know how you are and I'm glad you've been able to talk about it a little. Is there anything that would help you express things or someone you could trytalking to? Will you be okay tonight - maybe try doing something nice and relaxing, look after yoruself even if it isn't what you feel like doing? *gentle cuddles* I'm so sorry I don't have anything more constructive to say, I am here though and I care lots.
Umm, I have a meeting at 7 tomorrow, life suddenly seems very hectic. I should be home by 8, or Thurs? I'm sorry, I will try to stay awake in future!
I'm okay. Well actually not okay. I don't know. Tired. Just don't know where to go from here. I can't, genuinely can't, keep going like this but everything that might help is too far away and I'm just at a loss. I know that sound sincredibly ungrateful I don't mean to I just, I don't know. Will get there,somehow.
"I know you're sad, so I won't tell you to have a good day. Instead, I advise you to simply have a day.
Stay alive, feed yourself well, wear comfortable clothes, and don't give up on yourself just yet.
It'll get better. Until then, have a day."
Oh lovey, I don't think you sound umgrateful more overwhelmed and at a loss. Have you heard from your cpn or psych? *cuddle* I know it's not much but I am here if I can do anything. Star love you're trying which is a big thing, even though right now it might not always feel like it. You will get there love. <3
Thursday should work I will let you know. (Amy's dad is going to be here on Thursday for a couple of days, so I will have to check. )
I managed a bit of sleep. I'll try again in a minute, thank you love for being so good to me. <3
I wish I could be more useful lovely. I hope you managed a bit more sleep. How are you doing today? Sending you so much love <3
Thank you love, I am here for you too, if there's anything at all I can do. I'm seeing my CPN on Friday. Just need to find a way to keep going.
"I know you're sad, so I won't tell you to have a good day. Instead, I advise you to simply have a day.
Stay alive, feed yourself well, wear comfortable clothes, and don't give up on yourself just yet.
It'll get better. Until then, have a day."
*Sending hugs and love to you all* I really hope both of you are feeling better soon.
Star, you are trying, everything will slot into place soon enough i'm sure. I recognise that doesn't bring any comfort to you but you are ploughing on, even though it is so hard..it will pay off and your not ungreatful either.
Ritzi, I hope you feel more in control, it's good that you recognise why your feeling some of the things you are and I know that the ED is a bitch but, remember it's ok to eat and I bet if you wrote out all the foods you had eaten, It would probably be under the recommended amount (I know that doesn't help you feel better) but, I'm just trying to rationalise it. Food=fuel.
Have you seen your cpn/psych of late? Do you feel you should get in contact?
I do hope you've managed to calm down and release some of that tension and anger sweetie *sending hugs*
I also hope you both get some serious sleep tonight.
Look after yourselves.
Life can be beautiful if you let it.
Step back, breathe and take it in
"I know you're sad, so I won't tell you to have a good day. Instead, I advise you to simply have a day.
Stay alive, feed yourself well, wear comfortable clothes, and don't give up on yourself just yet.
It'll get better. Until then, have a day."
Star, I was doing great..I passed my driving test yesterday.
I am so suprised I did it..I was so scared. My sister woke me up yesterday to tell me mum had a crash.. THANKFULLY she was fine..the car is not so fine and is being scrapped. The weather was equally awful, I was driving through so much surface water..but alas, I did it so yay.
I'm just bummed out that, although I've passed my test, I still can't drive..but it's no-ones fault.
How are you today?
I want to cook tonight, but don't know what..maybe I will consult with my dad.
Life can be beautiful if you let it.
Step back, breathe and take it in
Well done for passing your test Leigh, that's great!! So happy for you :)
Glad your mum is okay at least - hopefully she'll get a new car soon!
Hope you've thought of something good to cook!
"I know you're sad, so I won't tell you to have a good day. Instead, I advise you to simply have a day.
Stay alive, feed yourself well, wear comfortable clothes, and don't give up on yourself just yet.
It'll get better. Until then, have a day."
I have decided to cook chicken in a mushroom sauce with leeks and jacket potato. It's all in the oven now but I need to be at work in an hour eee. It's going to be a rush on..And it was probably easier if I didn't do it because I've stressed my parents out now..I did it so mum didn't have to stress but yeah..failed..oh well.
How are you anyway? (stop avoiding the question)
Life can be beautiful if you let it.
Step back, breathe and take it in
It sounds yummy! And I'm sure your parents will appreciate it when they eat it! I hope work goes okay lovely :)
I'm okay. Still in bed lol. Need to pull myself together!
"I know you're sad, so I won't tell you to have a good day. Instead, I advise you to simply have a day.
Stay alive, feed yourself well, wear comfortable clothes, and don't give up on yourself just yet.
It'll get better. Until then, have a day."
Well done Leigh!!!! That's brilliant! I'm sorry bout the crash glad your mum is okay though. How're you today? <3
Star love, we WILL have our cooking date. Monday does that suit? How did it go with your cpn? Much love <3
Thank you both so so much for being so kind and taking so much time to respond. I'm sorry I'm being a bit useless replying of late. Amy and her dad are here til Sunday. I'm doing a semi detox starting Monday so we'll see. I have an ECG Monday morning, bloods Tuesday and I have a case conference with the dietitian, cpn, psych etc on Thursday. I'm a bit terrified. Stupidly and I'm not sure of I'm avoiding how I feel about the case conference but stupidly my biggest worry is that I am now so bloody fat that it is all just a bit pointless and laughable even going. But yeah. Technically speaking I have a psych but that's something that will be covered getting me one o can see. ATM my psych is Amys psych which is not practical or really ethical. But hey ho.
Sorry for the mini rant. Tbh I keep bursting into tears. I feel completely overwhelmed with everything. *sigh*. I'll shut up now though. Sorry. And thank you Both so so much for being here and listening. <33
Oh love *gentle cuddles* I'm really sorry things are so bad just now. I am ALWAYS here if there's anything at all I can do. You don't need to shut up and you have nothing to be sorry for, we want to know. I really hope that the case conference goes well and some real help comes out of it. Are you able to let them know beforehand what you'd like out of it so they know your point of view? You are not fat lovely, and it is not pointless, can you see that logically? Even leaving the weight aside, things are obviously really hard right now, so it's important that they get something sorted out. Try to look after yourself just now. OH and I know I said I had something to send you MONTHS ago but I have finally tracked it down and it's going in the post tomorrow, yep. Sending you so much love <3
Yay, cooking date. Monday works for me :) It was okay with CPN (she has stickers!) I'm seeing her again on Monday. Which I should be grateful for but I'm just not finding it terribly.. productive? I have no idea what would help right now.
"I know you're sad, so I won't tell you to have a good day. Instead, I advise you to simply have a day.
Stay alive, feed yourself well, wear comfortable clothes, and don't give up on yourself just yet.
It'll get better. Until then, have a day."
