Sorry I was in a bad state. I'm not going to quit, well unless I fail this year then I might quit.
My OCD has got so bad that 80% of the time I'm either cleaning things/myself, or worrying about being dirty/contaminated. This has impacted my studies badly. I cannot study without having OCD thoughts circulating in my head, going round and round. My OCD thoughts involve fears of dirt/bacteria/contamination, my fear of getting brain damage, my perfectionism, and my catastrophic thinking.
Today at the train station I was so scared that I would push someone in front of a train. I didn't want to, but my brain kept saying I would. Tonight I was scared I would get a gun and go on a shooting spree in university. I don't want to but my brain is making me scared.
As I said in my OCD thread in MH discussion, I am going to ask/beg my psych to put me on an SSRI for OCD because I am becoming suicidal due to this.
I will not study until I've seen my psych/got things arranged, because I am not in a frame of mind to do so. I will tell my psych that I am unable to study and see what she says.
I am behind in my studies as I missed a few lectures (due to anxiety) and because my times at home are so interrupted by the above, I haven't been studying much at all.
PM me if you want a PDF copy of the ICD-10or the Mental Health Act 1983/2007. I ALSO HAVE THE DSM-V BOOK and am a pharmacology student.
I have a visual impairment / neurological problems so I need people to type in clear text and no funny fonts. Also excuse any typos, my vision blocks things out.
I have autism and have problems communicating, PMs included.
Just becasue I type well doesn't mean I speak well. I am only part time verbal.
Thanks guys. I'm seeing my psych at 09:00 so I will update afterwards if I can get internet signal on my phone (phone is near-broken). I am so nervous. Nervous that she won't change my meds.
PM me if you want a PDF copy of the ICD-10or the Mental Health Act 1983/2007. I ALSO HAVE THE DSM-V BOOK and am a pharmacology student.
I have a visual impairment / neurological problems so I need people to type in clear text and no funny fonts. Also excuse any typos, my vision blocks things out.
I have autism and have problems communicating, PMs included.
Just becasue I type well doesn't mean I speak well. I am only part time verbal.
The bloody washing machine has broken down with my clothes inside it. It's full of water so I can't open it to get my clothes out. The carer is being super slow at getting it fixed. My clothes will be ruined. He told us to use the laundrette. I refuse to use a public washing machine so I'm going to hand-wash all my clothes.
Your clothes will not be ruined. That happened to me at uni too, and the clothes were fine after I washed them again later.
My clothes still have a slight odour, even though I washed them twice. I am tempted to throw them away but I will try not to.
My psych is going to put me on an antidepressant (probably an SSRI) for OCD next week, but first I need to taper off Olanzapine (as I am on two antipsychotics: Olanzapine and Amisulpride) as she doesn't want me on three medications, and Olanzapine has some mild interactions between some SSRIs (I looked it up in the BNF). She is also going to increase my Amisulpride to 600-800mg.
I'm hoping the medication will help me. Because my OCD is driving me mad. Sometimes I scream in my room and have the urge to smash things, because I am so fed up with OCD. It has taken over everything in my life, I even had to clean this keyboard and mouse with an antibacterial wipe before I used it, as this is a computer in the university which anyone could use/cough on/sneeze on. I even had to disinfect the sofa at home before I sat on it. I can't even eat food that is unwrapped from shops/cafes.
Sorry.
PM me if you want a PDF copy of the ICD-10or the Mental Health Act 1983/2007. I ALSO HAVE THE DSM-V BOOK and am a pharmacology student.
I have a visual impairment / neurological problems so I need people to type in clear text and no funny fonts. Also excuse any typos, my vision blocks things out.
I have autism and have problems communicating, PMs included.
Just becasue I type well doesn't mean I speak well. I am only part time verbal.
I was up for most of last night, freaking out and cleaning/washing myself. I nearly went to A&E at 4am but the one thing that stopped me is the fact that hospitals are full of bugs and other people who could be infected.
The skin on my hands is peeling.
I can't stop cleaning etc.
I called the CMHT reception today to ask for my care coordinator but she wasn't there. So I left a message. Their message-leaving systems are diabolical however.
PM me if you want a PDF copy of the ICD-10or the Mental Health Act 1983/2007. I ALSO HAVE THE DSM-V BOOK and am a pharmacology student.
I have a visual impairment / neurological problems so I need people to type in clear text and no funny fonts. Also excuse any typos, my vision blocks things out.
I have autism and have problems communicating, PMs included.
Just becasue I type well doesn't mean I speak well. I am only part time verbal.
PM me if you want a PDF copy of the ICD-10or the Mental Health Act 1983/2007. I ALSO HAVE THE DSM-V BOOK and am a pharmacology student.
I have a visual impairment / neurological problems so I need people to type in clear text and no funny fonts. Also excuse any typos, my vision blocks things out.
I have autism and have problems communicating, PMs included.
Just becasue I type well doesn't mean I speak well. I am only part time verbal.
Things sounds really difficult at the moment Oly, I'm sorry it's so tough!
I don't really have much helpful advice, but just wanted to let you know I cared, and to wish you all the best with the new medication combination. Really hope it helps :)
I'm going to ask my psych for CBT on the NHS, failing that I will go private (my Dad said he would pay for it). CBT is good for OCD and I need anything that will work.
Thank you for the words of encouragement.
PM me if you want a PDF copy of the ICD-10or the Mental Health Act 1983/2007. I ALSO HAVE THE DSM-V BOOK and am a pharmacology student.
I have a visual impairment / neurological problems so I need people to type in clear text and no funny fonts. Also excuse any typos, my vision blocks things out.
I have autism and have problems communicating, PMs included.
Just becasue I type well doesn't mean I speak well. I am only part time verbal.
Thanks. My OT said she would be allowed to do the psychotherapy with me under the supervision of a psychologist so I'm sorted.
PM me if you want a PDF copy of the ICD-10or the Mental Health Act 1983/2007. I ALSO HAVE THE DSM-V BOOK and am a pharmacology student.
I have a visual impairment / neurological problems so I need people to type in clear text and no funny fonts. Also excuse any typos, my vision blocks things out.
I have autism and have problems communicating, PMs included.
Just becasue I type well doesn't mean I speak well. I am only part time verbal.
Thanks. My OCD is still affecting me a lot, but I am cleaning less using my OT's techniques.
I'm staying with Pharmacology in uni, but I've asked to be exempt from this term's tests.
PM me if you want a PDF copy of the ICD-10or the Mental Health Act 1983/2007. I ALSO HAVE THE DSM-V BOOK and am a pharmacology student.
I have a visual impairment / neurological problems so I need people to type in clear text and no funny fonts. Also excuse any typos, my vision blocks things out.
I have autism and have problems communicating, PMs included.
Just becasue I type well doesn't mean I speak well. I am only part time verbal.
It sounds like you're doing really well Oly. It's great you've stuck with Pharmacology, and being exempt from this term's tests sounds like it could be helpful for you.
It doesn't matter where you come from; it matters where you go.
No-one gets remembered for the things they didn't do.
We won't all be here this time next year,
so while you can take a picture of us.
We're definitely going to hell,
but we'll have all the best stories to tell.
