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Old 22-01-2019, 11:08 PM   #1
Mrs Sam
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I think I've realised I'm not getting better

So after spending over half my life in and out of services and now being in a period of being back under services I've finally realised I'm not going to be one of those people who get better. I might get better for a while then dip or be up and down or just down. I don't know. But I think I need to stop chasing the getting better dream as it's leaving me constantly disappointed. I have complex mental health problems. OK. I need support in my life. OK. I'll always have this. OK.




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Old 23-01-2019, 08:42 AM   #2
tiptoes
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Sorry I don't have many words but I can relate.

Do you want to talk about what is going on at the moment?



In my dreams I slew the dragon


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Old 23-01-2019, 01:54 PM   #3
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I hear you. I know it's hard to manage chronic mental health problems and things can be all over the place. I think focusing on 'getting better' can sometimes make things harder, but letting go of that a bit doesn't mean that things will never get better in whatever way that means for you. It's ok to need support, please use all the support you have. Keep posting here if it helps.





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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Old 23-01-2019, 03:41 PM   #4
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My husband had to take the rest of the week off work to help me because I'm so shit at managing my own life. Spoke to my care coordinator and I'm going back on sertraline. 50mg each week until I'm back up to max dose of 200mg.hoping the effects last this time. Go to my art therapy group tomorrow which is genuinely the only thing in the week I look forward to.




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Old 23-01-2019, 03:42 PM   #5
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She also said to take the zopiclone I have which I currently keep in cupboard but too scared to take.




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Old 23-01-2019, 04:39 PM   #6
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You deserve the support of your husband, it's not you that's shit at managing your life you're not doing well right now. You manage so many things, your own life and other peoples. I hope the Setraline helps. I'm glad you at least have something to look forward to in the week but I know it feels like such a small thing out of all the rest of the time when things feel crap. What makes you worried about taking the Zopiclone?





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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Old 23-01-2019, 05:00 PM   #7
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I'm worried I won't wake up if the littlest needs me. I know my husband is there but it's still a worry.




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Old 23-01-2019, 05:56 PM   #8
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I can understand the worry, do you think whilst your hubby is off to help you it would be easier to take it just the once to see. Are there ways that would make it easier to hear your little one? (Sorry if this is a stupid idea I don't have kids). Would it be worth asking about some pills to help you sleep that work for shorter periods? I had issues with sleep a while ago but needed to be up and fully functioning early so my gp looked for sleeping pills that would help me get to sleep but would have cleared my system before having to get up.

I hope going back on the medication helps and that the art therapy helps too. One thing to look forward to is something it is a place to build from in your own time.



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Old 23-01-2019, 06:35 PM   #9
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Could you take half of the zopiclone to test it? You may have to check with a pharmacist/prescriber first to see if that's safe but it might worth trying?



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This is happening, this is part of you.


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Old 23-01-2019, 11:38 PM   #10
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I do have some promethazine from ages ago that I could try as I get less sleepy from those. I wish I'd taken something now. Even half a, zopiclone. Imy littlest will be up in a few hours and I haven't been to sleep yet. I'm exhausted but can't sleep. Start back on sertraline tomorrow. Within 4 weeks I should be back up to 200mg.nor sure what next step is. Hopefully they work.




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Old 24-01-2019, 06:51 AM   #11
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Definitely should have taken something. Been awake since 1.52am.




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Old 24-01-2019, 08:46 AM   #12
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Do you think you could use tonight to encourage you to give it ago tomorrow? Sleep deprived is not too different to slightly groggy. Could you take it earlier than you would usually go to bed too so you have a little longer for it to clear your system.

How is today looking? Be gentle with yourself you must be shattered



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Old 24-01-2019, 09:39 PM   #13
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Yes I've taken a zopiclone tonight. So hopefully it'll be a beyyrr night.




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Old 25-01-2019, 08:31 AM   #14
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I hope you got some better sleep! How are you doing?



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Old 26-01-2019, 09:56 PM   #15
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I did manage some sleep with the tablet thank you.

Someone broke into a house on our street earlier this evening and now I'm petrified they'll try ours. Even though there's police in the street.




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Old 28-01-2019, 10:36 PM   #16
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I know this isn’t what a lot want to hear but I get that some believe that mental
Health disorders are very much like a injury of sort, with an injury we know that that’s recovery is limited, we know that by the end of the month our busted ankle will be on the mend. But unfortunately mental health doesn’t work that ways and it’s about managing it as much you can and having periods of remissions and relapses.
You gotta remember that a mental health condition/illness is not conscious, we didn’t wake up and think to self let’s go and get depression, anxiety etc and Certainly not because we just think negatively about life.



Have you ever confused a dream with life? Or stolen something when you have the cash? Have you ever been blue? Or thought your train moving while sitting still? Maybe I was just crazy. Maybe it was the 60's. Or maybe I was just a girl... interrupted.
I know what it's like to want to die. How it hurts to smile. How you try to fit in but you can't. How you hurt yourself on the outside to try to kill the thing on the inside. I tried groups, didn't work out just made my depression a lot worse.

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