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Old 26-07-2019, 02:42 PM   #21
elisa
 
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I would like to suggest one thing, however it might be completely out of question since it is difficult for me to imagine the whole situation:
So I need to check a few things:
1) the school holidays have just started, right?
2) you can easily check which school those kids go to, right?
3) than - if you want to do soumething abt their homophobic behaviour - you could contact the school about it (eier complaint or some "education" activity... IT SHOULD BE DONE IN A CLEVER WAY - NOT TO BE CONTRAPRODUCTIVE) ... I will think about it a bit more (if you want me to) , but if you tell me, that you dislike this suggestion from the very beginning, I will apologize and "mind my business" :)

Anyway ... I am trying to express my support this way ..

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Old 26-07-2019, 11:16 PM   #22
The Worst Witch
 
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That’s actually a good idea, we didn’t think of that! Will look into it.

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Old 27-07-2019, 08:59 AM   #23
elisa
 
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Thanks for a reply to my comment - you know the thing whether it is a good idea or not depends a lot on "how much energy do you have" and on "how much enrgy do you want to invest in those teenagers" and on "how much enrgy would you prefer to invest into moving somewhere else"
...
in case of bullying
any step/action should be considered with great care
be careful not to make things even worse for yourself/yourselves
...
I am a teacher (but not in Scotland)
but I hate teaching
not because of students
but because of the system
..
some teachers are not able to cope with the system and they become bullies...so you cannot rely on the school to "solve" the problem - the teenagers probably bully only because they are bullied at home&at school... IF YOUR COMPLAINT AT SCHOOL CAUSES THE TEENAGERS MORE STRESS THEY WILL BECOME EVEN WORSE....

that is why i said it should be done in a clever way
i will try to put in words what i mean by clever (i hope i will have time) because i will have to use my words carefully - i cannot do this on phone - lets say i hope to put it into words within two days
*
Take care
***

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Old 29-07-2019, 09:06 AM   #24
elisa
 
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I will try to post the promised post but the memory on my phone is full so if only some incoherent part of it goes through - i will try to solve the problem with the insufficient memory later...

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Old 29-07-2019, 09:06 AM   #25
elisa
 
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Well - I promised some "clever" suggestions re: bullying teenagers on
the bus, but I am not sure where to start.

I will try to explain the issue this way: "know thy enemy first" rule

1st step: annoying teenagers (I like students - do not get me wrong -
but they can get really annoying especially when in a group - and a
teacher deals with a group of teenagers all the time - the only thing
that worked for me was that I really like teenagers - their methods of
bullying are - you will disagree with me, and I do get your point, so
I apologize for my sharing my opinion so blutnly - their methods of
bullying are not yet fully developed - their bullying - though very
unpleasant - is open and confrontational - which is good because you
know that they do not care about you and that they make fun of you or
offend you openly - and I personally can cope with that better than
with COVERT BULLYING)

You know - teachers are not supposed to bully students at school - so
teachers are even worse bullies than teenagers because they practise
COVERT BULLYING. Schools are not the only places where you can observe
COVERT BULLYING (=ambivalent behaviour, proclaimed cooperation &
concern & knowledge but hidden aggression, hidden disdain, total
ignorance, and total abuse of power, which can easily reach levels of
malevolent sadism, all this equipped with the so called "soft skills"
and "expert qualification")... COVERT BULLYING is also common in
companies where the employees are forced to do menial tasks and are
badly managed or you can say exploited either by the company or by a
boss...

To make it shorter:

I guess it is more effective to threaten to the teenage-bullies that
you will report their behaviour to the school... You can ask them
which school they go to (it is better to find out beforehand because
they are likely to lie about it or avoid the answer, and then you can
inform them that you already know ehich school they go to, and that
you are already informed that there are "problems" with them - and you
can restrain from saying anything specific - because the school cannot
tell you anything specific anyway)...

Teenage bullies can be very annoying, but I would compare them to
mosquitoes that can bite but do not carry any malaria. Teacher bullies
bully like horseflies or like insect that carries lyme disease or the
dengue fever... So... beware the school system and the teachers If
you decide to report those teenagers like in a simple complaint you
should protect your identity and you should make the issue of
homophobic offence less clear by reporting bullying of all sorts
without drawing attention to LGBT rights...

So... you can write an anonymous complaint (to the school or to some
higher level authority) and describe an incident in a way that the
kids would not be able to identify you as the authors of the complaint
--- I know it sounds nasty --- I do not do that either --- when I
write a complaint I sign it --- sometimes I ask for confidentiality
--- and guess what happens??? :) I am here on an anonymous forum and I
am faraid to mention anything that would serve as a hint to any
personal information, ha, ha, ha... well sorry, for this fit of
sarkasm... it's really ridiculous... I just advise you to protect your
anonymity unless you want to become some kind of activists for LGBT
rights, and from what you have written so far, I guess that -at the
moment- you do not really feel like becoming activists...

Take care...
I have some ideas about how anti-bullying education should be done at
schools, but at this very moment, I am afraid no-one would allow that
- at least not where I live...

Next possibility is to contact some organization that offers
antibullying courses for schools (not only anti-homophobic - because
that might draw attention to your identity again) just general
antibullying educational activities - and you may try to share your
experience with that organization... but my experience is that those
organizations cooperate with schools and they will not criticize the
behaviour of the teachers, which is very often the root of the
problems (that is why I asked if the school holidays have just
started... ) By the way: many teachers are also homophobic... and even
if they weren't: many parents of school children are homophobic, and
schools are afraid that if they provide anti-homophobic education, the
parents will complain that it was disproportional, at the expense of
standard education, that their children should study maths and physics
not LGBT rights.... Well, bullies usually come from families where
bullying is not a big issue, because bullying is an issue for the
victims of bullying not for the bullies...

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Old 30-07-2019, 10:15 AM   #26
elisa
 
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One more idea: in case of another attack - you can pretend a phone call to the school - do not use names - just profession (headmaster, teacher) and you can pretend being on friendly terms with the headmaster and acting on previous arrangement (just reporting another incident) just describe your location and what the teenagers are doing...

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Old 30-07-2019, 12:43 PM   #27
The Worst Witch
 
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Why would I write an anonymous complaint to the school reporting the bullies, but not say it’s because they’re being homophobic? It’s not like they have any other issue with us apart from that so I’m unsure what the complaint would be about if I didn’t mention the fact they’re homophobic!

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Old 30-07-2019, 02:12 PM   #28
elisa
 
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To protect yourself from even more intensified bullying.

I am sorry if I have upset you by what I wrote.

I have written what I know about bullying.

As far as I have observed bullying - it seems to me it intensifies when the victim complains.

So you should be aware of those risks.

I am sorry - you may disagree with me.

I have written about the dynamics of bullying as I have observed them.

Homophobic abuse is an example of bullying behaviour.

Bullies feel better if they can offend/humiliate somebody else.

Quite a lot of people actually "improves" their self esteem this way.

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Old 30-07-2019, 02:15 PM   #29
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You haven’t upset me, I just needed clarification on what you meant. I understand what you meant now!

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Old 30-07-2019, 02:19 PM   #30
elisa
 
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What the complaint would be about?

I know that is the question...

I can suggest something but that might be completely out of reality because I was not there - so I cannot fabulate.

I know it sounds ridiculous but based on what I have experienced with bullies - I have come to the conclusion that this is the way how to protect the victim of bullying and how to make the bullies think about how they behave

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Old 09-08-2019, 11:40 PM   #31
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While this situation has on the whole been sorted out, itís Pride tomorrow and there has already been reports of ďabusive yobsĒ (a quote from the paper) targeting the Prode organisation. Itís totally out me off going and Iím worried now.

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Old 10-08-2019, 12:35 PM   #32
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Will there be some kind of police presence? It's awful that you're afraid to do things that are important to you because of some horrible people. I hope you can go if you want to and have a safe and enjoyable time.





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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Old 10-08-2019, 01:46 PM   #33
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Yeah, there will be police there. We didn’t go for the parade but we’re going for the village and the stalls and stuff. It’s roasting hot today, hopefully it’ll be a good day. Didn’t realise how hot it was

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Old 10-08-2019, 10:51 PM   #34
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I hope you have fun. I think with pride related stuff people know to be more on guard and there is definitely safety in numbers. It sucks we have to be careful about things like that when it's supposed to be for fun and celebration, but hopefully you can have some fun and find some solidarity and comfort. <3



You can't always keep it separate.
This is happening, this is part of you.


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Old 10-08-2019, 11:12 PM   #35
The Worst Witch
 
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I’d nI did have a good day thanks :). There was some trouble, a few youngsters were hanging about but after they were aware of how many police officers and security guards there were they mostly just stood there and didn’t say anything (that I heard). I think they were also aware of me taking photos of them (something the police has told us to do for easy identification). I’d never been to a Pride event before, the stalls were all really interesting md I did feel able to be myself for once.

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Old 11-08-2019, 02:58 AM   #36
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I'm so glad!! <3



You can't always keep it separate.
This is happening, this is part of you.


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Old 11-08-2019, 02:07 PM   #37
one_step_closer
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That's really great.





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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