Reviews Requested- Safe - poem

[helpwanted]

Struggling to make a sound,
struggling to stop falling down.
people pass without a care.
hatred constantly filling the air.
My eyes are open but I cannot see,
any of the light that shines near me.

[Captainshiny]

I think it works really well. A lot of hidden messages in there (didn't know how else to put it)

Maybe you should try adding some more on? I think you'll manage.

[havealittlefaith]

Sounds great you could
Really build more on this