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Old 10-03-2014, 01:59 PM   #1
helpwanted
 
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Reviews Requested- Safe - poem

Struggling to make a sound,
struggling to stop falling down.
people pass without a care.
hatred constantly filling the air.
My eyes are open but I cannot see,
any of the light that shines near me.

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Old 13-03-2014, 01:04 AM   #2
Captainshiny
August Jung Williams
 
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Location: Surrey
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I think it works really well. A lot of hidden messages in there (didn't know how else to put it)

Maybe you should try adding some more on? I think you'll manage.


Last edited by Captainshiny : 13-03-2014 at 01:05 AM. Reason: Typo fixes


If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do, what I'm about to do today?


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Old 16-03-2014, 09:15 PM   #3
havealittlefaith
 
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Sounds great you could
Really build more on this






i won't ever give up on you xx

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