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Old 05-09-2012, 05:32 AM   #1
horseradishroad
 
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I want to tell her that what she did was wrong, but I'm scared she'll just mock me.

For years I was emotionally abused by my step mom. She cut me off from my entire family, made me feel like wanting to look pretty was wrong because I was asking for attention, actually called me a slut, and even to this day she mocks me for my feelings, and uses my mental illness against me. I want to stand up for myself, and tell her that what she did was wrong, but I'm terrified that she'll just brush it off and make fun of me. On top of that I have this weird feeling of guilt about the whole thing. I'd feel bad for making her feel bad about it...It's so frustrating I don't know what to do.

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Old 05-09-2012, 08:14 AM   #2
csu.claire
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hay
i am so sorry u have had to go through this horrible situation, and i wish i could just give u a big cuddle

does ur dad understand what she is doing to you, or is there any chance u could talk ur mum about this or even a counsellor about this, as no one should have to experience that as a child

if you feel comfortable enough to seek help i know that there is help as i am currently studying social work and one of my subjects at the moment is child and adolescent psychology so i know how it can feel in one way to be in ur situation and how it can impact on your life and you have a right to stand up for yourself and you have a right to be in a safe and loving home !!!

P.S i is totally normal for a girl to want to feel pretty and be able to express it



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You don't get to choose if you get hurt in this world, old man, but you do have some say in who hurts you.

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Old 05-09-2012, 02:29 PM   #3
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I'm so sorry you've been through this, no one should have to. I don't have much in the way of advice, just wanted to offer sme hugs and comfort and tell you that you did nothing wrong.

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Old 05-09-2012, 04:09 PM   #4
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I'm sorry you are being put through this. It is disgusting behaviour. Stand up for yourself. Tell her it is not on. She may appear to brush it under the carpet, but on some level, it should make her think. Perhaps you could write her a letter? That way she can't interupt etc, write about how you feel she has treated you and the consequences.

I hope you manage to get this resolved. It really isn't fair. hugs



sticks and stones may break your bones but words can tear your heart out.

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Old 06-09-2012, 03:14 AM   #5
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hi, sooo sorry you have to go on like this. i would advise you to go talk to her. posibly a counsler can help? try to get her to listen to youand kno how she made you feel. but if you dont think you can do it yourself, def talk to a counsoler or other family member.

i wish the best of luck to you!

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Old 06-09-2012, 07:30 PM   #6
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Hi,
I would have to ask you whether you still live at home and if you are still dependant on your family. This issue is very close to my heart- as I experienced abuse from my stepmother. Because I never told anyone, after my dad died, everyone kind of made out that it didn't matter anymore because I was an adult now. I did confront her once- not in an aggressive way. I brought up an event- kind of a do you remember when this happened? She blamed me for her abusing me- and yes the mental illness thing was something she seemed to hold over me.

But hon, no one truly has power unless you give them. And it can be hard, because other family members don't get it. My dad felt I should try harder, my siblings wanted a new mom and no one saw what happened in secret.

If you are still in danger- get help NOW. Tell a school counsellor, your friends' parents. Sometimes families benefit from counselling- but if you have a mental illness you do have to learn to prioritise your health.

If this conversation is about you needing closure then don't make it about her response. It is sometimes enough to tell someone that they hurt you. That it wasn't okay. I agree that you should get your thoughts down on paper first. If possible I would talk to both your dad and stepmom.

What do you want? Do you want to go and do family things again? What exactly is stopping you right now? Sometimes parents are really ignorant about mental illness. My step mother mocked me for dressing down- and still called me a slut......

But as you get older; I'm screwed up because my stepmother was mean doesn't fly as an excuse for not having a job, not doing your homework; it definitely isn't a template for how you would raise your own kids.

My siblings came around after I had to move out of the house. My stepmother never changed- worse now that my father died. But in the end, because I know myself- it will always be her loss for not trying to love me for me.

Be brave.





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You say toe- may- toe, I say toe- mah- toe:
Let's call the whole thing- red

It’s time to lead the third revolution, which is not to say we want to be at the top of the world, but to say we want to change the world. Because the way the world has been designed by men is not working. It’s not working for women, it’s not working for men,
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.” Arianna Huffington 2014

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