I don't really know how to best explain this, but I will try,
I have a lot going on at the moment, which is all going to result in good things. I'm looking to move in with my boyfriend in the summer, which is a bit further off than other stuff, and I see it as a positive, but I seem to be freaking out more and more. I really love him and know he will support me and loves me, but the whole concept is freaking me out.
This has been made worse, by the fact I have an interview next Wednesday to get onto a teaching course for next year, meaning within a year in September I could be a teacher. Obviously I am thrilled to get an interview, but aspects of it are stressing me out. I was in tears the other night and awake for ages last night freaking out about the maths skills test I have to take.
If I can't deal with that stress, how will I cope with working and training? I made a decision to stop allowing my MH to hold me back, and make me scared of things, kind of "feel the fear and do it anyway" type logic, but I am so anxious I feel sick and am having trouble sleeping.
How do I deal with this, I want these things, but my mind/body is reacting in the only way it knows how - to be anxious and panicky and wanting to hide. I sound so ungrateful, my life has changed for the positive, but its hard to accept that I react like this even about good things.
I know nerves are normal, I just feel like mine is amplified to fully fledged anxiety, and I don't know what to do. I want to do this teaching, I don't want my MH to control my life anymore but I don't know what to do.
I exercise, and read and socialise and all the things I "should" do. They work, then it gets to about now in the evening when I am alone with my head and I'm up with all these thoughts.
Any ideas or thoughts or reassurance would be fab.
Sorry this is long.