why bother?!

[Darkwings44]

with the covid thing (because state rules we are not alowed to go to home vists and to the day hab ) im stuck at home with no other people besides the people that i live with and its getting really stressful.... dealing with the same people every single day.....

[Darkwings44]

The following content has been hidden - Reason : im fine

https://www.recoveryourlife.com/foru...39#post4284439

[Darkwings44]

A client in my group home is making me feel like dung….. she allways tells me to quit laughing (I don’t laugh a lot but when I do she tells me to quit it) and yesterday she told me that im embarrassing she makes me feel like dung!!!!!!! The staff already knows about it and they let her do it….. I told her today at dinner that she was somewhat like my dad (in that she makes me feel somewhat the same) (even though she has no idea about what my dad has done to me) and she smiled!!!!

[Darkwings44]

I talked to the boss of the group home just a few seconds ago about the other person and he told her to stop it =D

[Pomegranate]

I’m glad hun

[Darkwings44]

thank you

[Darkwings44]

I got the therapist email address today and I sent her a email and I felt brave and told her a small amount about my anorexia she said that she would email me back later on this afternoon.... Im soo very nervous!!!! >_<

[Pomegranate]

Well done for being honest. Hopefully she can offer some support for you.

[Darkwings44]

she didnt give me support at all!!! all she did was give me a stupid bingo game!! >_< im seriously regreting being honest....

[one_step_closer]

What would you have liked to be offered? What do you need right now?

[Darkwings44]

support and what to do..... =(

[Darkwings44]

On Sunday I asked a staff (the same staff that was going to give me a razor in the past but then didn’t because I told her not to because I didn’t want her to be fired so yeah…. I thought that I could trust her with stuff since that happened guess I was incredibly wrong!!!) if they thought that stanta would get me a razor and a gun then they talked to me about it…… then they reported to the boss of the group home and so I had a agruement with him and got pissed off when he said that I was playing games when I wasn’t and stuff so I got my laptop taken away from me and ive been self harming a lot for the past few days >_<

[Pomegranate]

I think it was brave to ask not to have the razor. I don’t really understand this whole ‘taking stuff away’ thing tbh and doesn’t seem fair. Have you spoken to staff about self harm and how you’re feeling?

[Darkwings44]

no...... i havent......

[Darkwings44]

the staff caught me watching a video about suicide prevention and now they want to report that to the boss so i could get in troble and get my laptop taken away forever( or at least thats what they have told me) havent talked to the boss of the group home yet but hes coming today

[not_so_insig]

That seems unfair. Have you explained it was about prevention and not pro suicide? They could have thought it was pro suicide as that's what some people automatically assume when they hear that people have been watching suicide stuff online.

[Darkwings44]

i did.... they didnt care.... they thought that anything about suicide is bad..... lucky they didnt tell the boss and im not in trouble i dont know why but they didnt tell him.....

[Darkwings44]

things have been stressful because of the staff but theres finally some sort of light.. theres a covid vacine that we hopefully going to take this month and the boss of the group home said maybe in January we will get to go shoping and home vists and stuff!!! im feeling sort of hopefull

[Pi.R^2]

I'm glad that you're feeling hopeful about the vaccine, I'm hoping it will be a return to some kind of normal soon as well :)

[Darkwings44]

The following content has been hidden - Reason : im excited for chirstmas =)

i cant... i just cant!!!!!!!!! i need to die soon!!! i need to die!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! cant talk about this to anyone!!!!! theres so much to lose!!!!!