All I have ever been told is that I definitely have a mood disorder. CAMHS are pretty vague! At first I was diagnosed with depression, then the diagnosis of bipolar was thrown around a bit & I was put on an antipsychotic that was meant to act as a mood stabiliser, stayed on that for about a year along with intensive inpatient & day patient therapy, then I seemed to make a sort of...miraculous recovery? discharged myself from CAMHS and stopped meds, and was doing okay for the most part. However now I find myself depressed again, have had contact with the CMHT and should be getting a referral to the crisis team this week, and I've started taking mirtazapine too.
I hate the way my brain works! Makes me believe things are actually okay, and then a month or so later it all goes bad again. Ah well.
sunshine, maybe for that month, things were ok, i have times where ii'm ok, not manic or depressed just normal! wich is normally when i go yay a miricles happened and i'm better, and stop taking my meds. oops!
silent dancer do you hear/see things when manic?
xxx
Silentdancer - I have mixed episodes with my bipolar and during those times would have psychosis as well.
I really hate it though cuse even though I can't stop moving etc I'm terrified of what I see, one time (before I was diagnosed) I was seeing things and people that weern't there, not nice!!! Luckily since I started lithium last year my symptom haven't been as bad, and a lot more manageable.
me complaining again- asked doc if i could go off meds- cos im not that depressed, he said no. its just a little depression nothing much really tis just silly- dont even know why im posting here. i feel so fake- im sorry everyone that you has bipola and stuff. i have times when im fine/paky and then it just goes away and im not fine/ okay rather empty. but its not all the time- its no where near as bad as it has been in the past. this silly- i am not that depressed. sorry for complaing and wasting your time.
The BRAVEST thing
I ever did was CONTINUING MY LIFE when I wanted to die.
I was labelled as BPD and Major depression for quite awhile, recently my psych told me that I actually have type II/mixed type bipolar and anxiety. does anyone have experiences with this? I know a bit about type II but havent heard of "mixed"? Also I dont have manic episodes I have hypomania (racing thoughts, not so much euphoric high as irritable high), its all very confusing.
Sorry for the rant,
I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder about 2 years ago. I have several family members with it too. I hate the fact that I'm medicated to be 'flat'. I can't feel my emotions properly. Every little medication change seems to send me over the edge. I can't seem to stabilise on my meds, I either get bad side-effects or a change in mood. I'm scared that I'm going to be stuck like this for the rest of my life.
cant erase it - the meds will be whats keeping you not so depressed. stopping them will probably make things worse again. depression is a mood disorder your in the right place to moan!
just a question, my ultimate goal is to be able to live with bipolar unmedicated (well maybe with emergency intervention medication) but i'd like to be able to know enough about myself to know my triggers and everything, anyone think this is possible or do it themselves? or is it like diabeties where you just have to live with taking your meds everyday?
xxx
It depends, there are bipolar people who live unmedicated, the main one who I know is Stephen Fry, from wht I remember he just didn't want to start taking meds. But of course this will all depend on how bad your episodes etc are.
melancholia - do you mean mixed episodes? as in you are experiencing symptoms of depression and mania at the same time?
oh yeah of course stephen fry! lol! duh! mine can be quite severe, but arent always. i've managed to stay out of being put in hospital, but theres been a few times when i should have been definately. who knows, i guess i'm the only one who can try and see if it works, i'm not ready to go med free yet! need to sort me life out first!
does anyone feel pressurised by being bipolar to be this amazingly talented creative person? because thats what its known for, and i'm really not! i'm just average on creative things really. no hidden genius in me!
xxx
I went to my GP today, she has wanted to put me back on prozac for a while but I didn't really want it, anyways she started asking questions if at times when I have been happier than usual, too happy, that kind of thing. I was actually honest with her, and relayed some of my more embarrassing life events from times when I've been 'up' and she did seem rather worried. She said she wants me to see a specialist consultant, in what I do not know?! and she wouldn't put me on prozac before then because it could make my situation worse.
After a few assessments, you start to realise what their line of thinking is - do you hear voices? do you think the people on tv are talking to/about you? is the psychosis, schizophrenia route, and the do you have extreme highs and lows? do you think you are invincible? etc, i'm guessing is the bipolar route.
So yeah, to be honest she seems to think a lot of my syptoms fit bipolar, which does worry me a bit as it is a lifelong illness, and has a high suicide rate and all that, but I guess I will just have to wait and see what this specialist says...if I ever get an appointment!
good luck sunshine! yeah antidepressents dont help if your a rapid cycling bipolar, they can actually make you flip faster. prozac especially bad for it apparently. it took me a while to realise that i have this for life. i think you kind of need a time out from the world, like work and stuff. but then a proper diagnosis brings proper treatment! as i've said before my ultimate goal is to be unmedicated, and be able to live my normal life, not someone elses normal, just mine.
xxx
me complaining again- asked doc if i could go off meds- cos im not that depressed, he said no. its just a little depression nothing much really tis just silly
'Not that depressed' means different things for different people. If you're feeling well, then that's good, but coming off your meds may well make things worse again. What medication do you take?
s a r a h
* pm me * eating disorders info *
"Between two worlds life hovers like a star,
twixt night and morn, upon the horizon's verge."
- Lord Byron
A question for all of you, especially if you're Bipolar: Do you have therapy? I've always felt that the treatment of depression relies a bit too heavily on medication sometimes, but apparently it's even worse if you're Bipolar. I found a study that said only 5% of bipolar patients are given psychological therapy and that may well account for the high suicide rate.
s a r a h
* pm me * eating disorders info *
"Between two worlds life hovers like a star,
twixt night and morn, upon the horizon's verge."
- Lord Byron
Hey thanks for the info. Im not sure but I think i may be bipolar, and my best friend agree's with me. I would say something to my shrink about it, but I'm scared he'll tell me I'm being silly and seeing things that arent there. But when my bestr friend told me that she thought I may be bipolar she sent me a list of the symptoms, and I have to admit quite a lot of them have happened to me, if i'm making sence..
What do you guys think I should do?
I would bring it up with your psychiatrist. He won't think you're being silly. Quite a lot of times an outside opinion can be what makes you realise something's wrong.
s a r a h
* pm me * eating disorders info *
"Between two worlds life hovers like a star,
twixt night and morn, upon the horizon's verge."
- Lord Byron
i've said before my ultimate goal is to be unmedicated, and be able to live my normal life, not someone elses normal, just mine.
I can relate to this SO much. For now, my goal is to find a combination of medications to keep me as stable as possible and to live my normal life. Like you said, it needs to be MY normal.
A question for all of you, especially if you're Bipolar: Do you have therapy? I've always felt that the treatment of depression relies a bit too heavily on medication sometimes, but apparently it's even worse if you're Bipolar. I found a study that said only 5% of bipolar patients are given psychological therapy and that may well account for the high suicide rate.
since my diagnosis i've not been offered any help along those lines, its all just about medicating me to keep me stable. i'm not sure talking about things would help me on the bipolar front, im sure it would help with other trauma's that have happened to me, wich can apparently make bipolar worse! so who knows!
i think they think of depression alot has to do with circumstance, and bipolar is purely genetic. thats what i think they're approach is.
A question for all of you, especially if you're Bipolar: Do you have therapy? I've always felt that the treatment of depression relies a bit too heavily on medication sometimes, but apparently it's even worse if you're Bipolar. I found a study that said only 5% of bipolar patients are given psychological therapy and that may well account for the high suicide rate.
I'm bipolar and have therapy, my psych's fantastic, helps with the psychological side of my problems.
